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Metallica - My Apocalypse

2008-09-11T06:35:00.002-05:00

It's official, I'm creaming myself for this album now.

AWESOME!

So fucking awesome!

Holy fucking shit but this is awesome!

Jesus died on the cross for this kind of fucking awesome!

I know it's been available on Metallica.com for a while now but I'm just now hearing it and I'm PUMPED!

Final Crisis: Revelations #2 review

2008-09-11T05:51:00.002-05:00

Tight.

Fucking tight.

I was kinda worried that, after reading the first issue, I would have no clue what was going on and it would be the low point of the Final Crisis spin-offs.

Totally wrong.

This issue is a strong, strong character issue as we see Renee Montoya and the Spectre Crispus Allen really meet for the first time since his murder and the more I read the more I wanted to see it keep going. Backed with Philip Tan's amazingly strong art, Rucka hits every emotional note in this issue right on the nose breaking down Allen and his role as the Spectre. The emotional intensity only ratchets up once they introduce the Spectre's opposite, the spirit of mercy, the Radiant. Allen just lashes out at this point wondering what kind of mercy God could possibly have when he was instructed to kill his own son.

Rucka's next great feat, pushing the story of Final Crisis forward. No shit! Another writer who should have been writing Final Crisis instead of Morrison. This time involving Vandal Savage, the Spear of Destiny from last issue and the Anti-Life Equation. By issue's end, the world is consumed by Anti-Life and Montoya is moments away from being consumed by it herself. Fucking win! I don't know why DC bothered assigning Final Crisis to Morrison when Rucka and Meltzer are the one's wanting to craft really interesting, character oriented books and Morrison just wants...well, anything not involving writing a coherent story.

Of all the Final Crisis books, it looks like this is the one to follow. Where Final Crisis itself goes, I'm really not much interested anymore. Where Revelations goes, I will follow it off the damn cliff. More please!

Green Lantern Corps #28 review

2008-09-11T02:53:00.002-05:00

Eye of the Beholder part two

If there's anything bad to say about this issue, it's that the whole thing is wrapped up too quickly and cleanly. Picking up from last issue, we see Kyle, Guy and a bunch of other Lanterns standing around a giant vat of eyeballs waiting for Saarek to jump in and commune with them, which he does. What he reveals in each set of eyes is the face of the same killer from last issue. Seems that there's a group of five Sinstro Corps siblings in this thing. Which is cool. Unfortunately, after finding this out, they're all rounded up very quickly or killed and the threat is over. It's a good enough arc, but it just feels very clipped.

As much as I would have liked to have seen more of these Sinestro Corps killers, the whole point of the arc was to introduce Saarek and his power to commune with the dead. At the end of the issue, he meets with the scarred Guardian who sends him on a top secret mission which will lead into the Blackest Night arc. Kick ass. So even if the arc is short, we get promises of fuckwin.

It's a decent issue overall. Nothing hugely spectacular, but it serves its purpose fairly well. What the hell is up with Kyle? So he's the one drawing the morbid Green Lantern imagery? And...ICE! YEAH! Kyle and Ice, man, I've been looking forward to this. But considering how the issue ends, why are we going to be seeing the Star Sapphires next issue? Hmmmmmm.....

Deadpool #1

2008-09-11T01:39:00.002-05:00

One of Us part 1 (Secret Invasion tie-in)

To be sure, I wasn't really intending on getting this book, but I did for shits and giggles anyway.

All told, not bad.

Here's what I loved most, Paco Medina's art. He's got the best Deadpool since...shit, McGuinness? He looks tight. I never liked that look most artists give him with that big flappy part on the back of his head that looks like he's got a giant condom on (or at least it's very very minimal). The action flows great, and there is plenty of action to be had as he fights a bunch of Skrulls and blows up their ship.

As for the writing, it's cool too. I'm curious as to what Daniel Way has in mind with this sort of split personality narrative thing he's got going in Deadpool's head. So far it's Deadpool speaking, Deadpool thinking (yellow field) and Deadpool thinking (white field). He also seems to be hallucinating most of the issue. On a couple of occasions we see things from his perspective like Skrulls as kids begging for his autograph or Skrulls as video game characters with points for every one killed. It's pretty funny.

Speaking of laughs, it's not a drop dead hysterical issue. It's humorous at points with clever action. Deadpool traps this giant Skrull ship under the retractable roof of a baseball stadium. He greets them wearing the home team's mascot uniform. That was cute. But mostly, I think Way has something else in mind for our merc with a mouth. I wish I could say what exactly, aside from the fact that after beating the shit out of some Skrulls he approaches them with an offer to fight for them. What is up, indeed.

But, sadly, I won't be there. It's a decent first issue and very enjoyable. Anyone expecting the laugh out loud moments that Kelly or Nicieza brought might be disappointed, but it's a solid read overall. I think I would recommend it.

Secret Invasion #6 review

2008-09-11T01:25:00.002-05:00

The main Secret Invasion series has been really touch and go for me. First issue was okay, and everything has been nothing but bits and pieces of cool with lots of filler. Last issue felt like the story was going somewhere and this issue continues in that vein. Really, it's practically a trend now. Two issues to go, lets hope Bendis can keep it up!

But seriously, now that the Avengers are out of the Savage Land both sides are gearing up for a serious fight before they throw themselves at each other at issue's end. We get to see Thor and Captain Bucky meet for the first time as they help lead the charge of a unified Avengers team against the Skrulls. That, my friends, is cool shit. Thor calling down the thunder and lightning to signal a rallying point for the good guys as friends old and new and old rivals and enemies show up. You really feel this energy build by issue's end and it is awesome. Next issue I think is the climax while issue eight winds things down, so how things play out next issue are going to be interesting.

The Skrulls have a hidden trump card in the Avenger's midst. Spoiler alert...it's Janet Van Dyne. That fucking whore! And if Marvel's new ad campaign is any indicator, and I bet it is, the Skrulls are going to win. Or at least half win. Looking at Captain Britain and MI:13, the Skrulls are ejected from Britain so that wins there will be pockets of resistance, but I think the situation is that by and large the Skrulls manage to force some kind of settlement that allows them to colonize. This shit is gonna get good. Damn you, Bendis!

Speaking of the Skrulls, I know some folks like the AICN Assholes aren't particularly down on the Skrulls being religious fanatics. Personally, and I know this isn't universal among the Skrulls as the Empire is actually in tatters, but this sect is kick ass. When the sides are staring each other down and Jessica Drew is basically gloating about how easy it's all been, why they're doing what they're doing, it gave me chills. The dialogue is so spot on. It's arrogant and unapologetic...honestly, I woulda given up. I'da said, "Bitch, it's yours!"

But really, this is the tightest issue of this series since issue #1. It's kinda sad to say cause the series is an eight parter, but if you haven't been picking the book up since, this is the next issue to get.

New Comics Wednesday

2008-09-11T01:15:00.002-05:00

Deadpool #1

Final Crisis: Revelations #2

Green Lantern Corps #28

Secret Invasion #6

A very small week yet some cool shit.

And with the exception of GLC, it was all $3.99 a pop. Jesus! Final Crisis and Secret Invasion I kinda understand cause of the covers, but Deadpool? It was a standard size issue with a bunch of filler in the back. Killer, man.

Speaking of killer, comic reviews from here on will be sporadic at best. After this Friday I'm out of a job. Yep, I'm outta here! A little sooner then I would have liked, I announced the 20th would be my last day and they announced Friday is. It wouldn't be so bad if my boss hadn't called to gloat. Fuck you too, buddy! But at least half my brain wasn't removed and I can still wipe my own ass. HA!

But I digress.

So that leaves me short on internet access save for two nights a week.

*Tear*

But I shall try hard to vent and vent I shall.

Like...now!

Justice Society of America #18 review

2008-09-09T06:09:00.002-05:00

Warlords: Gog part three

Dale Eaglesham is back on art duties. Shit. While serviceable this issue, his action still doesn't flow nearly as well as Pasarin's the last two issues. I really, really wish that they'd have let Pasarin finish out the arc. Really, truly I do, if just for consistency's sake.

But anyway...

We learn more about Gog's character this issue. We see that while he loathes war and wishes to bring peace, he's not above killing per se. Stopping a militia from some murdering and pillaging, instead of killing them he...transmutes them! Into tree, specifically. Interesting from a god's point of view, this wouldn't be killing, but from a more rational point of view the it's the same. I mean unless he decided to transmute them into big walking talking trees with flaming swords attached to their arms.

But what we're really seeing is the unintended consequences of the "gifts" Gog has bestowed on our heroes. Shouldn't be a surprise since he launched Power Girl into Earth-2. Doctor Midnite, for example, has completely lost use of his powers. Unable to see in the dark, he's useless when using his smoke bombs. What will be interesting is to see how David Reid works out now. Killed by a grenade launcher, he's resurrected as the new Magog. Kick ass!

Overall, this issue is kind of.....well, so so. Some plot points are kinda rushed forward. We're really starting to see the schism between the JSA members occur, but it feels too quick. David Reid's death? Too sudden. Maybe it's cause I was spoiled by a solicitation in the latest previews, but the death didn't really feel all that dramatic to me. Gog is performing miracles left and right, but this lacked that miraclousness. More like, "Okay, time to make a new Magog! So kill that guy!"

I don't want to say I'm cold on this issue. It's good. It's just...lacking. Something. And I can't quite put my finger on it. I think it has to be Eaglesham's art, it's not really hitting those beats like it should. The script seems to be fairly solid, so I think Eaglesham deserves the brunt of the blame for any faults this issue.

Still, the story is interesting and I'm eager to see where it goes. Now that Reid is the new Magog, how will things play out?

Green Lantern #34 review

2008-09-09T04:26:00.002-05:00

Secret Origin part six

Every time I read Sinestro's dialogue, I hear the Monarch in my head.

It really works, try it!

So we're nearing the end of Secret Origin and we get what I suppose is the climax. There's one part left and, honestly, I'm starting to get impatient. Blackest Night now, dammit!

The action wraps up in this issue, so what we're left with is Hal essentially coming to certain realizations. Arguing with Sinestro, and after being told to deal with his anger, he does. The first person he goes to see is Carl Ferris, and what he finds rather shocks him. Carl Ferris, in bed, dying. Can't really be pissed off at a dying man! So Hal leaves with a changed outlook on life and the past and the like. The seeds of a future romance are planted and perhaps a newfound respect for his place in the universe. That is until the Guardians call him and Sinestro back to OA to be reprimanded.

Strange creatures, those Guardians.

It's kind of unfair to call this arc a coming of age story for Hal Jordan, but that is essentially what it is. This is when he starts to jettison that overdeveloped ego of his and basically starts to have the outlook of a hero. Strange that Hal, who's in his late 20s by now, surely, would still need to grow up but he does, coming to terms with his father and the man he blamed for his death. Not a horribly deep story, but while the origin of so many heroes are grounded in tragedy, it's interesting to see at least one who's origin is grounded in...well, closure.

I can dig that.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #18 review

2008-09-09T04:00:00.001-05:00

Time of Your Life part three

I've been cold on this arc and that really hasn't changed. Still not interested in Fray or her supporting cast.

I will say there are some things worth noting. Fray is notably more straight forward in her job. She sees vampires, she kills vampires. "Driving" along they see a bunch of vampires attack some EMS guys and Buffy is more willing to let them do their thing for the "greater good." Tragedies versus statistics, but I never quite thought Buffy as a Stalinist. Though by issue's end it is Fray that is betraying Buffy. This might be interesting. Might be interesting, and this is what's kinda killing me about this arc. So many big things happening around what is basically a minor crossover event. It seems almost unfair. The arc in of itself isn't terribly interesting, just the subplots. I would have preferred Whedon to get to the nitty gritty with this story and save everything else for an issue that could properly launch the other stuff. Or even better, not have done the crossover at all.

Though there are some highlights.

There is a great scene between Xander and Dawn that has Xander...riding...Dawn...um, well, it's not quite what you might think, though it adds a great deal of sexual tension. Is this Xander's next big relationship? And isn't Dawn still a bit young? Still, that scene is hysterical when they encounter a bunch of mystical trees with flaming swords for arms. That one had me scratching my head. Trees. With flaming swords. For arms. Crazy.

One other thing, considering how much lesbian sex this book now contains in its short run, why doesn't Dark Horse just get it over with, slap a "mature readers" tag and allow them the option of going the full monty? Come on, everyone is going lezzo, why tease us? Just how pert are Willow's breasts? We must know!

Still for the diehards, but proving itself to be important to the overall series. Whedon isn't wowing me here, but I'm not the type of fan this story is written for.

Detective Comics #848 review

2008-09-08T04:18:00.002-05:00

Heartstrings: Heart of Hush part three (Batman RIP tie-in)

It starts off sexily enough. Hush walking in on Selina Kyle putting on her shirt. Lovely back. So they fight and Selina loses. The rest of the issue is dominated by a fight between Batman and the kid that was abducted by the Scarecrow at the end of the last issue.

Because of that, the issue felt very fillery. Oh, some cool stuff does happen, and the ending is a shocker, but...Batman fighting a kid? Even if he is hopped up on venom and all Baned up, it's way too silly for me. There is, however, a decent flashback scene further showing Tommy Elliot's resentment of Bruce Wayne. It was interesting not so much for the fact that Elliot is/was a completely narcissitic prick, but that he runs into Peyton Riley, the current Ventriloquist. Iiiinnnnteresting!

I can tell Paul Dini loves women. He seems intent on making as many women as possibly be factors in Batman's life. Harley, Zatanna, Kyle, Riley.....come to think of it, the stuff with the ladies is probably the best stuff in Dini's run on this book. I guess that's one reason why the ending is such a shocker. It's not so much that it happens, it's that it happens to who it happens to. Spoiler? Catwoman's heart is removed.

Heart of Hush my ass! This is quickly becoming a story about the heart of everyone to some degree or another. The issue itself might be okay, but reflecting on what Dini has been doing, it takes on an importance all its own. I think I like it more now.

Nightwing #148 review

2008-09-08T03:38:00.003-05:00

The Great Leap part two

If Dick Grayson becomes the new Batman for a while, please let it be on the basis that his relationship with Alfred is so cool. After getting Carol to safety, and bleeding heavily, Nightwing lands in the Batcave and is immediately tended to by Alfred. This whole scene made the book for me. It kinda threw into question where thing takes place in regards to RIP, but it was excellent. I was starting to think Tomasi wasn't capable of much more than high tension action and lots of blood and gore, but the Nightwing/Alfred sequence showed a bit of nuance that I greatly enjoyed. When Alfred throws the bloody rags aside, washes his hands and is just ready to collapse from teh emotiional exhaustion of witnessing his family crumble around him. And kudos to Rags Morales for capturing this so well. The look on Alfred's face is well worth contemplating on, noting the burden he shares. While Bruce, Dick and Tim all have their missions and goals, I don't Alfred's burden is given much thought. Simply cast aside as the loyal and patient butler and attendant of Bruce Wayne and Batman. How often do we, the readers, ever consider that maybe Alfred's purpose, his mission, is worth regarding?

I thought last month's issue of Nightwing was good, but this issue is better! I thought Chuck Dixon's run on Nightwing in the beginning was good but Tomasi's run is faaaaaaantastic! Tomasi is really nailing this character down for me. I was just probably gonna maybe pick up this arc. I think I might have to pick up this title. Gonna have to hunt down everything Tomasi has done on this book earlier. Great stuff.

Final Crisis: Superman Beyond #1 review

2008-09-08T03:14:00.002-05:00

Morrison is an excellent writer. Years hence, he'll be lauded as one of the all time greats. Right now, I kinda want him to disappear into obscurity.

For Superman Beyond, I was hoping that maybe...maybe...he'd be able to put something together that would really tighten up Final Crisis, maybe make sense of what's going on. Nothing. Except for the fact that a subplot (if you wanna call it that) of Final Crisis is getting it's own two part treatment, I can't say that it really does anything for the series so far. What does it do for the story of our now half-dead Lois Lane? Very little. So Superman goes on an adventure that will possibly save Lois's life, but the story seriously diverges from that point on. We get backstory on the Monitors and some cool psuedo-sciencey mumbo jumbo, but nothing else that makes this issue feel really significant. There's mention of a Monitor (I think a Monitor) called Mandrakk (and the only reason I know he's a Monitor is cause of the Final Crisis #6 solicitation from the latest Previews...lame!).

Final Crisis is really starting to feel like it was foisted on Grant Morrison. Kind sorta the sequel to Seven Soldiers, but with a lot of other ideas thrown in for the sake of a massive DC event series. Morrison just feels like he's pumping out anything to keep the suits happy and packed with enough bullshit to divide the fans enough to keep anyone from noticing that maybe this whole thing is turning into an unmitigated disaster.

Really, the only reason to pick this book up is because of Doug Mahnke's art. Tight, tight stuff. The book is also in 3D, but honestly I wish it weren't. So gimmicky. Plus, being an old time collector, I'm loathe to remove the 3d glasses.

Supposedly, Superman Beyond is one of the few Final Crisis spinoffs that are necessary to the main story. Sure, if DC says so, but honestly it didn't feel like that at all. Maybe the next issue will end on a really kick ass note, but until then it just felt like a waste of $4.50. I can't really recommend this issue.

New Comics Thursday

2008-09-05T04:33:00.003-05:00

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #18

Detective Comics #848

Final Crisis: Superman Beyond #1

Green Lantern #34

Justice Society of America #18

Nightwing #148

A good week!

Reviews shall be late. Sunday!

Spendy!

2008-09-01T02:25:00.002-05:00

Jesus...

Spent a bit a little over $200 bucks today. Money sure likes being spent.

So, what did I get?

First...

A new weed-eater. It's a good one, I think, and I've been needing to get one forever. Advantage, it was on sale for Labor Day, which was cool. I spent a lot less on it then I thought I was going to, though I still bought a two year warranty, some line and air filters for my mower. That was $150 altogether right there.

So then, skipped on over to Waldenbooks.

Yep. I've loved this series and I've been looking forward to getting this volume all week. Scalzi does some good shit.

I've heard good things!

Got Mom another book as well, and that all came out to $30 some odd.

Then I took her to Chili's. We didn't need that, but it was cool. Our waiter was the nephew/adopted son of the proprietor of Gotham Comics. Cool! I forgot he worked their Sundays. Gave him a 50% tip. $30 bucks all told there.

Came home, became quickly annoyed with a new gas can purchased at Walmart that morning. And by annoyed, I mean infuriated. The spout on the stupid thing was designed to deter morons and arsonists or some shit. The spout has a little contraption that requires pulling back to release fluids. The fuck?!?!?! Spent $7 bucks to be treated like a potential felon, thanks. What a waste of a trip.

But, very happy with my new shit. Can't wait to use the new edger. It's a pain in the ass doing the lawn and rolling over shit that doesn't need rolling over. I can also prove to my neighbors that I do, in fact, have a curb. Yeah, it's ugly.

X-Men: Legacy #215 review

2008-08-28T03:33:00.002-05:00

Walkthrough part one

I can't help but feel we're really starting to see the limitations of this new direction. The whole point of X-Men Legacy is to deconstruct Xavier and his dream and rebuild the character and possibly the core premise of the entire X-Men franchise. Reading this issue, it seems like Carey is just sort of spinning his wheels without getting any forward motion.

Okay, so Xavier and Cyclops meet again since the end of Messiah Complex. And the meeting goes badly, needless to say. But the entire meeting covers ground that has really already been tread in the last arc. Really, nothing new is added to Xavier's little journey of self-rediscovery. Granted, it's a two parter and it's not over yet, but this is the first issue of Legacy that's actually left me somewhat disappointed. The sub-plot featuring Rogue was cool, she's running around Australia again picking up the pieces of her past as well, but only a few pages of this issue is dedicated to this particular story. The rest is.....meh.

The meeting between Xavier and Cyclops can be summed up thusly...Cyclops is pissed off at Xavier, Xavier wants understanding and maybe forgiveness. Nothing new, really. We do get an interesting twist at the end, however, when it looks like Emma Frost is gonna get in on the action. Alright, cool, maybe this will give some meaning to their reunion. The telepathic face off between Xavier and Sinister in the last issue was cool, this should be just as good, right? I certainly hope so. What really bugged me was that this is the first time Xavier and Scott Summers have been face to face since the end of Messiah Complex. Xavier was on the ground with half his head missing and Cyclops was declaring the X-Men over and done with. It's some time later and...what. "Hey, Charles, good to see you ain't dead." That's it? Come one! There really should have been more to this meeting. A bit of emotional nuance would have been in order. Hey, Xavier half raised Scott Summers. Last Summers saw, Xavier was half dead and then up and disappeared. The reaction could have been.....well, anything else but that.

I don't know, maybe Carey shouldn't approach this as strictly an Xavier series. Rogue's side story in this issue looks cool. It looks ripe for mining new material. She had a billion minds in her head at one point, that certainly had to have messed her up good.

But I'm not a writer, what do I know?

All I can say is this issue was, at best, meh.

Nova #16 review

2008-08-28T02:21:00.002-05:00

Green For Danger (A Secret Invasion story)

I'm not actually sure how many parts this story is. I thought this was going to be a one off issue until it was getting towards the end. Richard Rider, Nova, intercepts a distress call on a planet, answers, and is attacked by super Skrulls. He's having a hard time of it with Worldmind down, but ends up getting back up when the original Super Skrull shows up to back him up.

It's a cool issue, but not much to right home about until the ending. Watching Rider function without Worldmind is cool to see. He needs lots of breathing room since he has to manually interface with his back-up support system. Once given a little breathing room, he can tear shit up. I suppose that's what makes the ending a little more interesting. Without Worldmind, and with ass in the fryer, it's gonna be interesting to see what happens.

The real star of this issue is Kl'rt, the Super Skrull. Since Annihilation, he's become this really interesting character and not some cookie cutter Fantastic Four villain. I don't know how long this character has been around, but I don't think he's ever had any sort of depth, so lately he's been undergoing a sort of rebirth. We're seeing what motivates and drives the character more and how he views himself in the world. He describes himself as a sort of Ronin, which would be a really cool take on the character. But since it's a Secret Invasion tie-in, we get a very cool perspective of the Skrull invasion. Sort of an insider on the outside looking in kind of thing. I dig it. Kinda wish someone at Marvel would have done a Super Skrull Secret Invasion mini-series. I don't know how long this arc is running, though, I might essentially get my wish. Two, three issues? That would be cool.

It's a decent issue. I'm burning out on Secret Invasion though. If Marvel ends Secret Invasion with a mass genocide of the Skrulls, I would very happy. It's getting to be a bit much. But seeing as how guys like Abnett and Lanning are having so much fun with it, and so many writers are able to get some cool shit out of this event, I guess I can't complain too much. Still, it'll be nice when the books go back to business as usual.

Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge #2 review

2008-08-28T01:32:00.002-05:00

Rogue's Revenge part two

I'm a little torn about this issue.

I liked it but I found it...lacking.

Not lacking in revenge, there's plenty of that to be had, but revenge of the quality I wasn't expecting after the last issue. It was a lot of revenginating on some guys I've never heard of. A squad of "New Rogues" that want to supplant the old Rogues. The Rogue's have issues with this and then proceed to show why it's a very bad idea to fuck with them. Revenging is had swiftly and awesomely! No revenging against Intertia, the dude that implicated them in the murder of The Flash, Bart Allen. Captain Cold takes revenge on his father, that was cool. But, it's a roundabout revenge. Hmmmmmm.....

I didn't read Geoff Johns Flash run, so that's the major problem, right? Right. These guys are ten different kinds of fucked up this issue and that caught me off guard. They take down these New Rogue's pretty efficiently and it's safe to say they ain't gonna be recovering too quickly. Or at all. And what Captain Cold does to his dad? Jesus...

It is an interesting issue. The way the Rogues regard each other, their experiences together and individually, fleshed out all while taking apart a bunch of pretenders. I really liked that aspect of the story. How Captain Cold confronts his dad, who the New Rogues abducted, again, just crazy. What makes this scene...well, what makes the whole issue...is Scott Kolins art. We're able to look into Captain Cold's eyes, but I like how he places the paneling to obscure the view. We're getting a rather vulnerable moment, delving into his soul a bit but only so much. We aren't allowed the priviledge of getting so close to this character. We get a tiny peek, but it's only so much before the mask is back on. Most excellent stuff.

We're further teased with more scenes between Intertia and Professor Zoom. He's certainly doing his best to make Inertia even more powerful then he already is, to really fuck with the Flashes. And this makes me long for the last issue of this mini. After seeing what the Rogues do to the New Rogues, I have to see what they do to Intertia. Johns does seem to have his plate full at the moment, I hope he doesn't have too much that he can't follow through.

Once again, another Final Crisis spin-off that is far more satisfying then the main series. Check it out.

X-Force #6 review

2008-08-28T00:58:00.002-05:00

Angels $ Demons part six

I was left wondering in the last issue how Kyle and Yost could possibly wrapo up this story. I figured that it's gonna set up future events down the line, set up the villains the team would be fighting down the line and, well, I was certainly right about that. The issue itself?

Kind of a letdown.

I mean the story is serviceable and does wrap up this particular arc, but it lacks a certain energy. The story has been building to this climax that just feels...totally deflated. I think it has to do with the fact that the issue is essentially told as a flashback the entire time with Wolverine debriefing Cyclops on what happened to the Purifiers. Archangel goes fucking batshit crazy and kills people left and right, Wolverine kills people left and right, Warpath and X-23 kill people left and right (thinking back to Astonishing X-Men #26, Cyclops is full of shit).....lots of killing, but...it's lacking. There's no sense of danger to the team. It feels like a completely safe bet that the team is gonna come out fairly unscathed. Hell, the only real surprise is what happens to Archangel and his wings at the end of the issue that kind of left me scratching my head. What happens to Rahne leaves lots of room for the character to get completely mind fucked later on, but, ya kinda figure that's what was gonna happen anyway.

The real interesting stuff is what happens with Matthew Risman and Eli Bard. The last issue concentrated on these two heavily and when you realize the whole arc was basically about Risman and the Purifiers more then X-Force, I can't help but think that this issue really should have concentrated on that whole thing. What Eli does and his betrayal of Risman, setting the stage for serious awesomeness down the road with Magus.....this particular story is wrapped up far too swiftly in this issue.

Overall, my opinion of this series isn't a bad one. Flaws aside, it's actually really fun. Wolverine tearing shit up, Rahne getting hooked on heroin, brainwashed and savaging her friends, the return of lots of big fucking bad guys.....it's been a really fun ride. The end of this arc, sadly, ends tepidly. I'd like to continue on with the series but...job. Lack of one soon. Ah well.

But X-Force, like most of the other X spin-offs, is where the real action of the X-Universe is. Uncanny? Hey, for all this stories flaws it kicks Uncanny's ass. Astonishing? As soon as Ellis gets his ego out of the way it might be a winner.

Pick it up in TPB, open a beer, have fun.

DC Universe Last Will and Testament review

2008-08-28T00:25:00.003-05:00

Conversions

One of the AICN Assholes called the first three issues of Morrison's Final Crisis something like creeping evil and I called bullshit.

This issue is the proof.

Meltzer does in one issue what Morrison failed to do in three.

The supposed theme in Final Crisis is, what's the ad line, "The Day Evil Won." Well, shit, you could have fooled me. You want that sense of dread and foreboding? That sense of bad shit is gonna happen and we have no fucking clue what the hell is going on? THIS is that issue! In this issue we actually get that feeling that something is happening.

The issue centers around Geo-Force seeking revenge against Deathstroke for the death of his sister in the Teen Titans story, The Judas Contract (which is cool cause I just got that collection in this week). Around that we see the reactions of other heroes to the events going on around them. There's no light, the Earth feels like it's stopped rotating. Places are shrouded in darkness. The apocalypse is near. People seek family, God, whatever it is that comforts them. Batman and Robin and Nightwing go on the prowl. Superman seeks the sage wisdom of his father. Wonder Woman and Donna Troy seek to prepare for battle in the ways of Greek warriors of old. (The sorta stuff Morrison is trying and failing to do.) Geo-Force seeks revenge. He seeks guidance, someone to change his mind. Someone to tell him it's okay, go for it. Kill him, it's the end of the world. And anyway, who cares, look who you're going after. So he's conflicted.

The issue plays out quite well. The fight between Geo-Force and Deathstroke is hardcore, if because Deathstroke just beas the piss out of Geo-Force. The way the fight ends was, to me, pretty shocking. Meltzer might have pussed out a teensy bit but it was still a helluva crazy scene.

This issue should be regarded as Final Crisis...I don't know, #3.1 I suppose. It's well before the end of issue three, certainly. I guess it takes place during issue three. I'm just shocked that Meltzer, in one issue, destroys everything that Morrison was attempting to do in three. I don't know what DC was thinking. Sure, Morrison can be great when he wants to be but he forgot to craft a comic book story. Meltzer might get overly sentimental at times, but he keeps his head on straight and can move things forward. This issue is certainly a testament to that.

New Comics Wednesday

2008-08-27T23:49:00.003-05:00

DC Universe Last Will and Testament

Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge #2

Nova #16

X-Force #6

X-Men: Legacy #215

Alas, JSA and Final Crisis: Superman Beyond are not part of the haul cause UPS dropped the ball and a package got sent...elsewhere. Fucking Bombay for all I know. But it is coming in Friday, so I should have them by then.

Reviews will be forthcoming but short. I'm training a new guy, my eventual replacement, Thursday and Friday nights. No time for reviews, unfortunately. I'm gonna try to get in as many as I can tonight.

Also, finished Old Man's War. Awesome book. Some minor quibbles, I don't think Scalzi really follows through on the concept that well. For a bunch of guys that were supposed to be 75 years old, they sure didn't act like it most of the time. That aside, it was a fantastic read. So awesome I finished it in a day and a half and went out and bought the second part.

The Ghost Brigades!

Almost as good as Old Man's War. New characters, some returning supporting characters. This books revolves around a guy who's sold out the dominant human empire for revenge, but the Army makes a clone of him and uses a leftover copy of his brain pattern to use in tracking him down. It's pretty cool. It's more like two stories in one, though the implications of the first story are pretty much forgotten about in the second half. I don't know, maybe the third book will answer them.

Scalzi is a pretty kick ass writer. His characters, while note quite acting their age, are all really interesting. Jane Sagan was probably my favorite. Very explosive introduction.

I'm gonna pick up the last book, The Last Colony this weekend. Can't wait.

Metallica - The Day That Never Comes

2008-08-24T01:00:00.002-05:00

Mmmmmmmm, it's okay. Some Thin Lizzy guitar harmony stuff going on. The opening chords really remind me of the opening piano bits to Joe Satriani's Chords of Life.

Not saying they ripped Satch off, mind you but every time I think of the opening of the new 'Tallica my mind instantly switches it over Chords of Life.

Finished Empire of Blue Water

2008-08-24T00:42:00.003-05:00

Damn, what an awesome book. Took me forever. Not long, I just have to be struck by the urge, otherwise I won't concentrate.

Next book up?

Well, ended up going to Logan's Roadhouse tonight (it's so-so) and stopped by Waldenbooks at the mall to get Mom something to read. Ended up getting myself a little something as well. I still have a ton of other books I should read, but Professor Reynolds goes on and on about this guy, John Scalzi. So I picked up Old Man's War.

Not usually one for sci-fi, but when I've heard this guy is the bastard child of Jesus and Heinlein, I figure, shit, why not give it a try?

The concept is an interesting one. A 75 year old retiree who's wife has just died enlists in the Army and is given a brand spanking new young body. The deal is, fight for Earth for scarce habitable planets for two years and retire to a homestead on one of these worlds. The catch is he can never return to Earth. Sounds cool.

Almost ate $20 bucks

2008-08-22T23:53:00.005-05:00

Strange, this post got eaten when sent through Gmail.

It's been over three weeks since I returned that hardcover of Ultimate Spider-Man for the correct edition UPS Ground. It only should have taken a week to get there. Thought it got lost in the mail or something and I misplaced the tracking number.

So I hassle Buy.com a little bit just last night. They write back that they have it in and it'll take a week to get it shipped back my way.

Cool, great.

But did I really need to hassle Buy just to get my shit straight?

I was given the option of simply refunding the book and making a new order but I didn't want to be saddled with shipping fees (figure what's an extra wait time to save a couple of bucks?). Damn, should have just eaten the extra couple of bucks. What a pain in the ass.

But at least I know what's up now.

Oh, also, got my re-order in yesterday.

Annihilation: Conquest volume 2

Ultimate Spider-Man Volume 7

Ultimate Spider-Man Volume 8

Ultimate Spider-Man Volume 9

Whiteout: Melt

Yeah, box was beat up a little.

Captain America #41 review

2008-08-22T04:20:00.002-05:00

The Man Who Bought America part five

Bucky and the Falcon are stashed in a crappy little motel while Falcon's bird keeps an eye out on the Grand Captain, who's laying low in a diner. Things get heated when AIM agents corner him behind the diner and capture him. Zola and Red Skull receive the news and Zola is getting pissy that they're having to clean up after Faustus. They start discussing their plans for seperating the Red Skull from Lukin. Being stuck together is causing both of them to go insane so Zola is working quickly to finish building a device bought from Doctor Doom (oh, Doom is in on this now, sweet!). Moving on to Sharon, Faustus is sitting next to her informing her she's ost her baby. Faustus implies that he intends on betraying the Skull and Zola and leaves Sharon her SHIELD GPS locator and another device. Cutting back over to Cap and Falcon, they're heading up to Albany when they're joined by the Black Widow. Her and SHIELD are following up on a tip that's leading them to the Red Skull's base, where Cap and Falcon are headed. Widow also mentions that not only are they going to hit the base, but also keep Senator Gordon Wright from being assassinated. Back on over to the Red Skull, AIM agents wheel the Grand Captain into an immersion chamber while Zola fidgets around with a device that looks kinda like an Ultimate Nullifier (though I can't really tell, too many little CGI FX obscuring the device). Zola says it's either gonna work or not but the other device to split Skull from LUkin is ready to go. They are quickly informed by an AIM agent that Faustus is nowhere to be found. Zola interrogates Sharon to ask her where Faustus went and she has no idea. Pulling Sharon towards him, the device Faustus slipped her falls to the floor and explodes followed by the Black Widow, the Falcon and a team of SHIELD agents infiltrating the base. But preparations are complete and Zola rushes Sharon to her destiny. In the meantime, we're at the Presidential debates not far away. It seems that the plan for Senator Wright is to make him look like a hero. One candidate will be killed and he'll save the other one looking like a hero. However, the Assassin, Sin, has other ideas and decides she's going to kill Wright instead. However, Caps shield blocks the bullet. And while Sin is firing wildly, Captain AMERICA on the attack.

CAPTAIN AMERICA! Hell yeah! Bucky has been in the costume for a few issues now but this is really the first time he calls himself Captain America. This right here is the debut of the new Cap. A totally kick ass ending to a damn fine issue.

Everything is really coming to a head with this issue. The Red Skull and his plans and finally Bucky really taking on the mantle, it's great. As for the Red Skull, I figure his plan is to take over the body of the Grand Director. As for that Ultimate Nullifier looking thing (I really can't tell) I'm not sure what's gonna happen with that. Lots of crazy, kick ass things going on.

Granted, some of the happenings made more sense on a re-reading. It did seem to jump from one local to the other a bit too quickly and sometimes the characters are less then clear about what's going on. "So you're all..." "Uh-huh." "And so then..." "Yeah." "So we'll all..." "Yep." "Okay, cool." Dude!

But the highlight of the issue, aside from the end, is the little moment where Faustus is sitting with Sharon and, basically, grows some balls. It, in a way, felt kind of out of left field. Maybe I was just missing something with the character, but it also made for one of the best character moments in the book. It's unusual to see a villain just let their guard down so suddenly like that, admiring Sharon Carter not only as a scientific subject but as a person.

There's not much more I can say. All the players are in place and the shit is about to hit the fan and I just can't wait until next month's issue to see how everything plays out. What's Skull's plan, what happens with Sharon, Bucky...exciting!

The Incredible Hercules #120 review

2008-08-22T02:20:00.002-05:00

Infinite Names: Sacred Invasion finale

The issue starts by telling the story of the Skrull gods, Kly'bn and Sl'gur't before getting to where the last issue left off. Klybn and Slgurt are facing off against our intrepid heroes when Ajak decides he's going to take command of the group. Ajak leads off the fight by going after Klybn while Atum tries for Slgurt. It seems Atum has his fight wrapped up rather quickly, eating Slgurt, but ends up exploding while Ajak gets his head blown off. A giant femur from Atum sends Amadeus tumbling off a ledge into space. This leaves Hercules, who Klybn wastes no time trying to convert to his side. Hercules quickly rebuffs the proposal and puts Klybn to the ground. From their they start tearing each other up while Slgurt and Mikaboshi square off. While they're all fighting, Amadeus is floating through space. He recalls the prophecy Athena told him, that he would have to help Herc when he was at his weakest by doing the hardest thing he would ever have to do and sacrificing himself was that thing. Hope is on the way, however, when Snowbird, who was thought dead, suddenly appears. Seems to get away from that monster from the last issue, she turned herself into a swarm of mosquitoes and followed the crew. With Hercules distracted by the fight, Snowbird finds Atum's spine and uses it to impale Klybn and causes the altar on the Skrull flagship orbiting Earth to shatter. Mikiaboshi and Slgurt are wrapping up their fight, but they've both taken teh same form. One kills the other and it looks like Slgurt has won. But with Klybn dead, the Skrull Dreamtime starts falling apart and they beat it out of there, mission accomplished. Buuuut, it looks like Mikaboshi was the real winner with Slgurt as he drops her body to the ground and claims rule over the Dreamtime while the Enchantress looks on.

Alright, this is a pretty solid read. It was a step up from the last issue and ends pretty decently.

There's a lot of backstory using some Skrull conceptual stuff to detail the origin of Klybn, which was cool. It's always really cool when Pak and Van Lente can sit there and flesh out characters using some crazy mythology stuff, even if in this case it's purely fictional (as opposed to using real mythology). Since it is the climax, there isn't a whole lot of room for character stuff, but what is there is decent. The whole thing with Amadeus. He had to sacrifice himself to get Herc's head screwed back on. Herc is arrogant, ill tempered, and completely fuill of himself. Before Amadeus gets knocked into the abyss, Herc turns to him for support and...nothing. The only way Herc can get his shit back together is for his closest friends to basically lose faith in him. Some god, ay? And Amadeus does lose faith in Herc somewhat. He's idolized him, more or less, up to this point and now Herc has shown some serious flaws. During the fight, Herc basically says this much to Klybn, who, like every other Skrull, wants a perfected society marching lock step. But that kind of society is essentially devalued, with one individual can be replaced with the next, but an imperfect person can at least is capable of being noble. So the whole event was a sort of realization for Hercules.

It's not been a great story, it's been flawed and I think it showed especially last issue. But this issue picks the pieces back up and finishes up what basically amounts to an editorially mandated story fairly well. There is one moment, when the altar on the Skrull flagship is shattering, that ties in nicely to events in Secret Invasion #5. It's just a one off line, a complete throwaway, but it gels well with the whole crossover event. I can hear Pak saying, "See, we're pulling our weight with this whole thing!" Pak and Van Lente do leave a couple of threads dangling to use sometime in the future, which will be interesting to see. This whole business with the Enchantress, sweet!

Secret Invasion is really kicking ass, or at least in the satellite books, but being so long it's getting tedious in its way. Oh, jeez, another fucking book with Skrulls! That was a risky move on Marvel's part. Consumer burn out. With that, however this detour has turned out, it'll be nice to see this title get back on track and see where things go from here.

Guardians of the Galaxy #4 review

2008-08-22T01:41:00.002-05:00

Damages (Secret Invasion tie-in)

Major Victory's fight with Starhawk has managed to piss about everyone off. Knowhere's continuum cortex, the system that allows everyone to come and go, was damaged, but it was fixed in short order. However, a bomb sends the whole thing up in smoke and killing 38 people to boot, including many cortex engineers. Among the bodies are also found two Skrulls. Not normally a problem for Knowhere, except that they were disguised. During a team meeting, while everyone is blaming everyone else for all their problems and accusing everyone else of being a Skrull, two members of Knowhere's Administrative Council show up, Gorani and Cynosure (A Luminale and successor to one of the one's that fought Nova in Nova issues #8 and #9). The Council is concerned with the Guardians and the trouble they seem to have brought with them. While arguing with the Council members, they get word of another disturbance involing Major Voctory. Some thugs decide to take their frustrations out on him. He beats them down rather easily, but Cynosure gets in on the action taking down Major Victory. Cosmo manages to keep things from escalating out of control, but is forced to confine the Guardians to their quarters. On the way, we see Starhawk rematerialize. Something's up! Adam Warlock is super pissed that Starlord is acquiesing to the Council's demands for an investigation and that their dawdling is allowing mor fissure anomolies to open. After Warlock storms off, Mantiss walks in informing Starlord that since the bombing of the Cortex, radiation is slowly leaking into the lifesupport systems. Mantis warns Starlord that if they submit to the Council's investigations, then the truth will come out that Mantis, at Starlord's behest, used her telepathy to gently coerce the team together. Unfortunately, neither realize that Drax is listening in on the entire conversation. We then turn to the Investigation with Quasar and Starlord present. Evidence is presented against Drax who has been making many unauthorized visits to the cortex chamber. Seems Drax is their first suspect. Pete calls Gamora, who's watering Groot, to fetch Drax so that he can answer the accusations against him but his room is empty and we see him elsewhere arming himself to the teeth at issue's end.

You can cut the tension with a knife in this issue. It's a solid change of pace and I totally dig it. While it starts off with a bit of a mystery with Major Victory and Starhawk, it quickly switches gears with the subsequent bombing of the continuum cortex. From there, and with the reveal of the Skrulls, it's a slow burn. Accusations flying, fingers pointing, shit's really hitting the fan. The strained relationship between Rocket Racoon and Cosmo, especially, really adds nicely to things. I mean, one's a dog and the other's a racoon so it's not like they'll get along. The stuff with the Council is an interesting touch. Since being introduced to Knowhere in Nova, it was kind of left up in the air with how that place worked. We were introduced to a floating severed Celestial head and a talking Russian dog. I enjoy seeing Abnett and Lanning flesh the place out a little more (It's a sort of international science facility).

While there is some action in this issue, it's not really an action issue. It actually, in its way, feels kind of like an episode of Law & Order. Here we have this criminal act, the cops are investigating before it's all turned over to the prosecuters. The conflicting interests of all the parties, Warlock and Starlord, the Guardians and the Knowhere Administrative Council, all come into play very, very nicely in this issue. All that and the revelation about Starlord's and Mantis's manipulation of the team set things up very nicely for this very cool ending with Drax. It's not a slam bang ending, but a slow burn issue ends with a character who himself is on a slow burning fuse. Just what is this guy up to?

Gamora is still healing after what happened to her in the last issue. She's the T&A factor of the book, so seeing her still burnt to a crisp and covered in a shroud was a nice touch. The whole running joke with Groot.....if it's possible to keep Groot as the team mascot/potted plant, I'd recommend Abnett and Lanning stick with it. It's very funny. Also, one thing that Pete LaPage has complained about, the debriefing box narrative tool? Isn't hardly used in this issue at all. Only once, after the bombing of the cortex, but that's it otherwise. It's a cool narrative device, but it's good to see Abnett and Lanning turn it off when needed. It would have really interrupted the flow of this very well paces issue.

I came this close to not picking the book up this month. I figured, it's Secret Invasion, it's probably gonna derail the story and won't add much to the book, they shouldn't be part of this crossover, it's gonna suck.....incredibly wrong! It deals minimally with Secret Invasion only using it as a way to expose the massive cracks in the team's facade. I was really surprised by how well this issue turned out to be. If you're not picking this book up, missed the first three issues, it doesn't do too bad a job of serving as a jumping on point.

Lovin it.

Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds #1 review

2008-08-21T02:54:00.002-05:00

Up front, this issue is one massive cocktease.

Okay, it's a long issue but I'm going to keep this short. This is basically the direct continuation of the Action Comics story, Superman and the Lgeion of Super-Heroes. Superman Prime lands in the 31st century, in Smallville on a farm of a very xenophobic old couple. He winds up in the Superman Museum, which details the life and history of Superman. He's greeted by a holographic Jimmy Olsen who leads him around showing Superman's allies, villains, etc etc etc. However, when Prime realizes that he's not included as a major Superman villain, he goes off on one of his tantrums. He's like, "Fuck this shit, man, I fucked that guy up, I get no respect waaaaahhhh!!!!!' But after learning about the Legion of Super-Villains, he finds out the location of the prison planet they're being held on. He burns down the museum, burns down Smallville, releases the prisoners who were all, apparently, inspired by the villainy of Superman Prime and they get their shit together.

Meanwhile, the Legion of Super-Heros is under political attack by the United Planets Council. After the events of Superman and the Legion, xenophobia ia rampant on Earth and humans are being attacked on other planets in turn. Earth is talking about secession and they are all talking about disbanding the Legion. While Lightning Lad, Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl (God, those names!) are dealing with the UP, Phantom Girl, Lightning Lass and Shadow Lass are in the Phantom Zone attempting to rescue Mon-El while keeping General Zod from escaping. Back at teh UP, the Legion's original benefactor, RJ Brande, returns and does some of his own speecifying in favor of the Legion. However, an od rival in disguide assassinates him right on the floor of the UP. As Brande dies, it's slowly revealed that he was secretly a shape changing Durlan. Damn. When Cosmic Boy goes for the assassin, he crumbles to dust in Cos's hands. There's another mysterious player involved in all of this who wants to see the Legion finished. With that, the Legionaires return back home and discuss their future when they turn to the news and see what's been happening. An emergency call is sent out to Superman back in the 21st century and is summoned to their time. They all see the giant S symbol burning on the prison planet, Takron-Galtos, the one that Superman Prime has assaulted to release all the villains. With God knows how many villains on the loose, and the Legion in disarray, Brainiac 5 gets the idea that this is going to require contacting the Legion of two other worlds and bringing them in on the fight. Everyone is cool with the idea, but one final thing Superman notes is that this isn't going to be about killing Superman Prime, this is going to be about redeeming him.

All told? Set up, set up, set up.

This series is basically like Revelations in the way that it's tying up previous stories and continuity, if it's all a bit more recent. Unlike Revelations, it's a lot better as an introductory book. Now I'm fairly caught up with where things are in regards to the Legion (I think) but with Revelations I was completely lost. Good book if you're a Gotham Central fan (I wasnt even reading comics at the time that series came out) but bad if you were new to characters. This, at least, makes the attempt at being a good jumping on point.

Some of the events are.....a little rushed. Mon-El? Yeah, that's jammed in there. Bring Superman back to the 31st century? Yeah, it sort of comes out of nowhere. "Shit, problem! Call Superman!" Superman Prime.....I don't know what this redemption stuiff they're talking about at the end of this issue, personally I want to see them kill the guy. Man, what a whiner! Powerful, and could be really bad ass, but his personality sucks. Although, one thing that caught my eye, was that they repeatedly referred to the character as Superboy. I thought DC lost the rights to that name, or at least had to pay up. I gotta check that out. But I digress. As whiney as Prime gets, once he goes apeshit it is cool and I think this issue promises a lot of that. I'm not quite sure what this series is going to try to accomplish, if it's going to be yet another Legion reboot or just ends the Silver Age and post-Zero Hour continuities, but if all it does is feature Prime killing loads of people at the drop of a hat I think it will be a winner.

The only real downside is nothing really important happens this issue. Well, the death of RJ Brande (but who's to say that won't be retconned later), but nothing that will hurt the next issue if you miss this one. Like I said, this issue is a massive cocktease. The art by George Perez is fantastic and reason enough to buy this issue, but if your dealer is sold out, don't worry, it'll all be apparent what's going on in the next issue.

Justice League of America #24 review

2008-08-21T02:25:00.003-05:00

The Blood Dimmed Tide: The Second Comics part three

Amazo is still kicking everyone's ass, but the team starts getting their shit together and mounts a relatively affective defense. Zatanna keeps Amazo from killing Vixen just long enough Red Arrow to start in. Then Hawkgirl and Black Canary come in with Black Canary shrieking into Amazo's ear, causing his head to explode. However, he recovers too quickly and puts the team on their asses again. Hal Jordan is pretty out of it, but shields the team long enough for Superman to come in and get beat down. Then Wonder Woman, who seems ridiculously powerful and manages to hold her own against Amazo long enough for Zatanna to scrawl some words backwords in her own blood to recover her mouth. From there, it's basically a Wonder Woman/Zatanna tag team until they can get Amazo into the slideways portal and send him off to Antares, a red supergiant star. With Amazo's threat neutralized, the JLA go about getting Red Tornado back into a new body while Firestorm, Vixen, Black Canary and Red Arrow visit Buddy Baker, Animal Man, at his home in San Diego to discuss the recent changes to his powers and how they relate to Vixen's problems. Baker thinks the problems aren't related but it's pointed out that something serious has to be up cause he starts eating a chicken leg. Buddy's a vegetarian you see.

Aaaaaaannnnddddd.....it's okay.

The cover bears no relation to the events of the issue. McDuffie is supposed to be introducing a new villain called Anansi, a spider trickster god, but aside from the mention at the end he isn't in this issue. Animal Man is also on the cover in costume, but again, only the small cameo at the end. The blurb on the cover states, "Puppets of Anansi." This is just dumb on DC's part. Having Wonder Woman on the cover slugging it out with Amazo on the cover would have been a better visual and relevent to the contents. This cover is nice enough on its own, but it's a silly mistake that DC should never have made.

The story is.....so so. It's not bad like issue #22, which was horrible, but it's not quite as good as #23. It's more of the same, Amazo kicking everyon'e ass basically. There's some cool stuff, Black Canary exploding Amazo's head, the whole teleportation into Antares, Wonder Woman's offensive in general. But the whoole Red Tornado thing is treated as an after though. Like, "Okay, we're done with Amazo, let us put Red Tornado back in his body now." Too bad he won't be able to watch people have sex anymore. Or he'll have to watch from the closet like every other decent pervert.

Batman...man, he's rendered totally useless in this issue. At first, he's with Steel saying they gotta stay out of the fight cause they would be useless and in the way so instead the re-program the Slideways device. Then, when Amazo gets near, Batman jumps in only to have his ass put to the floor. Great job there, man.

But ya know, it's an action issue. Not much to right home about. It's pretty well done I guess. Kinda forgettable. It can be summed up in three Words, "League beats Amazo." And...that's it.

The action, pencilled by Allan Goldman, flows nicely enough. Probably lays the action out cleaner than Benes, actually. Sometimes Benes gets too involved with the splashy money shots that he relegates the relevent action to obscured background stuff. This guy, not nearly as flashy, but serviceable and easyt on the eyes. For a fill in artist, he did the job well.

Will I be picking up the next issue? Maybe, maybe not. I haven't decided. This Amazo stuff seems wrapped up, and honestly I'm not that invested in Vixen as a character. This stuff with Animal Man and Anansi could be really cool, but I've been ready to give up this title for a while now and now seems as good a time as any.

The Flash #243 review

2008-08-21T01:11:00.002-05:00

Everything, Always: Fast Money part six

Picking up from last issueNzame appears to have turned into a giant bastard ape and Iris looks about dead, but Flash soon realizes it's all an illusion by Grodd. Nzame is the same little chimp he always was and Iris is only half dead. Nzame, after getting attacked, no longer trusts the Flash but the real Grodd shows up so Wally, along with super old Iris, go on the attack. Jai stays behind with Linda (mama's boy) when a bunch of armed Apes come along demanding the return of Nzame and go along peacefully with them. Back to Wally and Iris, Iris gets the jump on Grodd and makes his body vibrate out of sync with reality. Doing so uses up most of her speed, but her and Wally come to realize, more or less, what's wrong with her. Back at Gorilla City, Linda speaks with the head ape about her kids when he summons his personal physician who, after quickly examing the kids, concludes their problems are not genetic. Wally runs the kids into the Speed Force where Jai, also, accelareates to old age. Wally realizes the part of the Speed Force that ultimately kills speedsters is the reason that the kids are aging fast. He somehow pulls this force from his kids and...does...something. Seconds later, the kids are cured! And their both...however the hell old they're supposed to be. Back home, Wally is running around the city thinking that even though he's still broke and now the city hates him, things are looking up.

And thus bring an end to the most directionless arcs of this series so far.

Ugh, where do I begin?

The arc was called Fast Money but, after two issues, had nothing to do with the Flash's money problems. The villain, Spin, comes and goes midway through the arc and suddenly the whole thing becomes about monkeys and aging kids. At the end of the issue, when Wally is thinking that he'd rather be broke (what a bum!) I snapped my fingers thinking, "Oh, right, this was about Flash's money problems!" What could have been a vaguely interesting satire about super-heroes needing jobs and media social manipulation ended up becoming...well...garbage.

Maybe I shouldn't blame Peyer for this. He was probably commanded by editorial to conclude some dangling threads, first and foremomst the speed aging kids. I think this could have been readily accomplished by simply concentrating the story on the aging kids instead of taking the most indirect route possible and doing this whole "Flash is broke" thing. So instead we get a lame story, I still don't give two shits about the kids, and I've managed to learn how to hate Linda. God, what a useless fucking tag-along!

Alan Burnett takes over with the next issue and, honestly, I don't care. DC took a shit on possibly their best character and the character that's easiest to write for. Underutilized and disrespected. We're supposed to be thrilled at the return of Barry Allen now? Come on! Wally West is the better Flash, the faster Flash and they haven't gotten this character right once since his return in JLA last year but DC wants us to trust them to do right by the classic Flash? Shit, whatever!

New Comics Wednesday

2008-08-21T00:40:00.004-05:00

Captain America #41

Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds

The Flash #243

Guardians of the Galaxy #4

Increible Hercules #120

Justice League of America #24

Alright,. This is my, honest to God, last issue of the Flash. JLA.....well, gettin there. And the first issue of Legion of Three Worlds! All of which I'll be reviewing tonight. Tomorrow will be the Marvel books, looking forward to reading Captain America and I want to see how Pak wraps up the Sacrad Invasion arc of Hercules. Guardians I almost didn't pick up, but it's too damn good a title.

Action Comics #868 review

2008-08-17T05:59:00.000-05:00

Greetings: Brainiac part three

As the issue begins, Supergirl is searching for Superman. By this point, it seems, he's been gone a while. From there, we see Superman, just recently captured last issue by Brainiac, lying on a sort of operating table being prepped for storage. Shit's up down his throat, they're drilling into his brain. He starts seeing flashes of the things Brainian typically does after bottling a city, basically incinerating the remains leaving no traces left. He wakes up, quickly dispatching the machines prepping him and removing all little tubes and the like. Wandering around and examining his surrounding, he's briefly attacked by what looks like a giant space babboon. Taking out space chimp, he wanders into Brainiacs quarters and meets the man himself, locked in some sort of stasis. He awakens and greets Superman for the first time and is an imposing sight. This Brainiac is fucking huge! They tussle, but Brainiac has the clear advantage and restrains Superman quickly. He tells Superman his intentions of becoming the most perfect being in the world by absorbing all cultures into himself. How very imperial! Aparently, it's also pisseed off Brainiac to no end knowing that one Krpytonian got away but now, since Superman has found him, he'll now also be able to track down Earth and absorb Earth's culture into himself. The final page shows Brainiac's giant honking ship hovering over Metropolis.

I'm wondering who I should gush over first, Johns or Frank?

Gary Frank is a goddamn MILF hunter if I ever saw one. Issue starts off with Cat Grant strutting down the bullpen of the Daily Planet in some ho-bag pink mini thing. Frank loves whoring this woman out. He's absolutely got a thing for the idea of older women like this (and I'm pretty sure Johns just writes these scenes broadly). After the space chimp fight, there's this one little throw away panel of Supes turning around and throwing his cape over his shoulder. Everything, all the people he draws, the way they carry themselves.....I can just swim in this shit, man. Even his rendition of Supergirl has grown on me, and I friggin hate this Supergirl (I'm in the Linda Danvers camp). Sure, she's still running around in the little mini skirt, but he makes her come across less ho-bag, more trendy teenage girl.

Now to Johns. I'm wondering what he wants to do with this story now. He seems to be implying that Brainiac had something to do with the demise of Krpytron, which would be an interesting retcon to Superman continuity. Krypton's explosion has always been spontaneous. I don't know how they intend on accomplishing this, since Krypton's sun is still there. Hell, Superman, Superman-2 and Superboy-Prime flew through it at the end of Infinite Crisis. No matter. There was one thing that I noticed at the end of the issue that I wasn't sure if it was a throw away thing that Frank did or if it was something Johns intentionally wanted to showcase. On the very last page, which is a street view shot of Brainiac's ship, we see a club called the Zodiac Club. Now I thought this was interesting considering what's currently going on in the Final Crisis books with Libra and the Dark Side Club. Is this just something to give Metropolis a pulse or is this something that Johns will be running with later down the line? Interesting...

But speaking of Final Crisis, I was reading a review of Final Crisis #3 on AICN and the reviewer said he loved that Morrison was letting this creeping evil thing go on. Personally, I disagree with that assessment. If I want to see creeping evil, or gathering storm kinda shit, this issue is an example of it done well and in more limited space. These little shots we get of Jon and Martha Kent standing outside the farm and storms are gathering and birds are dying.....that's an effective way of presenting the same mood. Johns spent maybe, in all three parts of this story, a page and a half doing the same thing Morrison spent three issues on. That guy on AICN had no clue what he was talking about. He needs to read Action Comics.

Astonishing X-Men #26 review

2008-08-17T03:59:00.002-05:00

Picking up from last issue, the X-Men have tracked their man to a starship graveyard in Indonesia. Emma Frost quickly finds their man in a ship floating overhead and Wolverine is sent in to handle the guy. Seems the guy is messing around with some big glowing box when Wolverine orders him on his knees, hands behind his head, the whole nine yards. Dude's a firestarter though, so when Wolverine touches him...BOOM! He goes back to his box but the rest of the X-Men get up to the ship. Storm blows him to the ground, but it's a bit too late. Cyclops orders Storm, blow the ship. After the ships falls to Earth, the team searches the wreckage while the suspect, apparently working for someone else, blows his own head off.

Mmmmmmmmmmm.....

Eeeeehhhhhh.....

I just don't know.

I really want to like this issue, but I just don't know.

I liked the almost cramped sleepiness of the last issue. I loved the art on this issue. Simone Bianchi just did an out-fucking-standing job. The panoramic views of teh graveyard, the ship design, the whole thing falling to Earth.....just wonderful. He really has to do more open spaced pages like that. The moment he draws cramped quarters, things get really cluttered. The open spaces, however, are fucking georgeous!

I think it's the dialogue. Ellis is engaging in a lot of needless exposition that drives the story nowhere. For instance, after Storm down the spacecraft, her and Cyclops have this whole conversation over killing. It's not really doing anything for the story, it's just there and it's boring. Also, it seems to contradict the presentation of Cyclops in other books who, after Messiah Complex, went all cold blooded (going back to X-Force #1, he shows no aversity towards having people hacked up). The Cyclops in this issue is way too apologetic for this new stance (and then keeps speaking for everyone around him). It feels.....I don't know. He might be trying too hard to keep the book open and accessible to new readers but on the other hand it feels like he's just slumming it. His trademark Ellis-isms are there, the witty dialogue, the casual sci-fi weirdness but it's feeling less like an X-Men book and more like Warren Ellis Project #469. Mind you, I enjoyed the sleepiness of his first issue, but now should have been the time to change into high gear. Damn.

Strangely, you can read this issue without having read the last issue. The "previous issue" blurb catches the reader up nicely and you can buy this issue solely to revel in Bianchi's fantastic artwork. Story wise, however, the issue is sorely lacking.

Green Lantern Corps #27 review

2008-08-17T01:39:00.002-05:00

Eye of the Beholder part one

The set-up is pretty simple. Someone is murdering the family members of Green Lanterns. After we see the opening of Guy's new bar, We're taken to the GLC crypt where Morro is memorializing BZZD, who died fighting Mongul in the last issue. While doing that, he meets a Lantern named Saarek, a Lantern with the ability to telepathically communicate with the dead. He informs Morro that the dead are cold and afraid. Something big is about to happen. Back to Guy and Kyle at the bar, they're talking about whether or not Mongul is dead. And...no! We skip over to Mongul escaping from Mother Mercy partially digested. Ah, we knew he wasn't going anywhere. Back to Guy and Kyle, they shoot the shit a little more before Kyle takes off. While cleaning up, Guy finds in the trash a very disturbing drawing of a Lantern being killed. Hopping on over to planet Citcra Tana in sector 3598, we see a shadowy figure creep up to this igloo like structure being occupied by a bunch of alien polar bear looking guys. They're the family of a brand new Lantern and are quickly murdered. Moving on over to a training ground on a moon of OA, Kilowog is training a bunch of new Lanterns when Kyle shows up and runs into Natu. After some thinly veiled sexual tension between the two, the whole group os showered in eyeballs. Natu examines the eyes with her rings and discovers that they are all relatives of the Lanterns being trained. While they're all breaking down, Lantern Saarek appears. Taking one of the eyes, he uses his ring to replicate the last image the victim saw revealing the killer to be...some bug eyed monster I don't recognize.

Being part one of a new arc, this issue did feel very much like a prelude to the coming action. We get a chance to decompress a bit while Guy Gardner and Kyle Rayner open up their new bar. Guy trying, half successfully, to train a bunch of alien staff on how to serve beer and grill burgers and then following up on that later as they wind down their day. It's an almost silly notion, a bar and grill on OA? Then again, OA culture isn't gotten in to too much. How do these people wind down after a shift? I suppose there are manners of diversion, and it could be fun to use that as a backdrop. This is something Gobbons was doing on his run, but it was mostly lunch room encounters. I suppose a bar would allow for a more intimate setting and less generic. It's actually kinda cute in its way.

The stuff with Morro and Saarek did feel a bit overlong. The whole "burial" os BZZD could have been taken care of in one page instead of three. It picks up some when Saarek enters the scene. Saarek could be a really interesting character, especially since there are lots of dead Lanterns he can potentially communicate with. Saarek could be a lot more eerie and cryptic, but he comes off as more haughty then anything. Still, the scene is...serviceable. Comparatively, the bit with Gardner finding the drawing is much more disturbing.

I also see that Tomasi wants to hook up Rayner and Natu. Mmmmmmmmmmmm, I suppose I should wait and see, but Natu isn't a particularly interesting character and I have doubts on how successful this could be. The sexual tension between the two was obvious, but aside from her huge tits I don't see what Kyle could see in her. The stuff Tomasi wants to do between Gardner and Ice is more interesting, there's history there, but this? If we're lucky, it's all about getting laid. An easy lay. Bitch doesn't wear a bra, clearly she just wants a deep dicking. Tomasi needs to be careful about how he plays this out, otherwise it will feel forced.

It's not a perfect issue, but overall I think it sets the arc up nicely. I quite liked it, with reservations. I'm interested in seeing where Tomasi goes with the notion of a serial killer hunting down Lantern family members. There are so many characters Tomasi can just totally fuck with, I need to see where he takes this. The relationship stuff...well, like I said, just wait and see.

A very good start to what could be an interesting story. As always, if you're not picking this book up I highly recommend you do.

Fuck!

2008-08-16T06:42:00.002-05:00

The Stack's last show for PulpSecret and Next New Networks. What a kick in the ass. I thought this show was so awesome, it really made me get enthused for comics (this and, uh...4Chan's /co/ board). Sure, the hosts are still putting together shows...in Alex Zalben's freaking living room! Which is all well and good, but the professional quality of the Stack was nice. You would think with YouTube more shows like this would exist but it's sad to say they don't. It took me forever to find those guys, sifting through poor quality crap and some godawful shit from a Canadian public broadcasting channel. Now it's just three more assholes on a couch. Hopefully they'll get their shit together soon and do something as slick and professional as before.

Captain Britain & MI:13 #4 review

2008-08-16T05:53:00.002-05:00

The Guns of Avalalon conlusion

Captain Britain faces off against the big ass magical Super Skrull! Faiza Hussein rushes to save the life of the Black Knight! The Big Evil Demon Guys that Pete Wisdom released last issue go on a big fucking Skrull killing spree after John the Skrull is shot in the face and killed. And oh just pick up the damn book.

Wow, what a fantastic series this is. I do feel the need to get one complaint out of the way,. the finale to this arc felt rushed. I think the final battle here could have gone on for one more issue, but then I imagine Marvel and some of the writers are getting sick of Secret Invasion and it's time to move on, which the ending of this issue does. Otherwise, this title has rocked. This story has been a great introductory story, it's set the stage wonderfully and goddammit all I'm in an unfortunate position that I have to drop the title. FUCK!

Cornell has made a very dry, very witty, very English book and this issue wonderfully expressed all those strengths. I love how Cornell has managed to just take these silly concepts and embraced them, running with them as far as he can go and I really want to see where he takes this book. He's taken the Secret Invasion idea and used it as a springboard for something bigger, crafted a sort of mission statement for the book. "This is what you can expect, and this is the major threats these characters are going to have to face." He does it well, if a little too quickly. I'm, sadly, oh so sadly, not going to be picking up the next issue but if I may suggest that he take the time to slow things down long enough so that we can get to know the characters a little better. I'd like to know Spitfire better, I'd love to know Faiza better (she must be a new doctor, cause she seems to think the NHS can work miracles when in fact the Black Knight would have been forced to wait nine to fifteen months before receiving an appointment). We've seen them in a crisis situation taking a liiitle bit of time to decompress wouldn't hurt.

Speaking of Faiza, I really liked how this issue ended. It was a nice little twist to add to the book and one more reason I wish I could stick with this series. And what about John? Goddammitt! Dude, what the fuck!?!?!? I was flipping back to that page expecting him to come back. Ah, fucking shit, man! Okay, and even though I'm mildly complaining about the ending, I do like the resolution they come up with for expelling the Skrulls from Britannia. You could argue it's too easy, I say it fits quite appropriately with the feel of the title and gives a glimpse to the threat this new team is facing. "No more Skrulls." Jesus...

But please, if you're not reading this series do yourself a favor and get on board! It is indeed worth your hard earned two dollars and ninety-nine cents (plus tax).

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #2 review

2008-08-16T02:21:00.002-05:00

Tom, Cora and Hellboy are marching through the woods carrying the body of Tom's dad when they near some coal mines. Cora starts freaking out. The mines are home to a group of witches called the Melungion Witches, descendents of the of the settlers of Roanoke Island way back when and mixed with Croatan Indians. Tom decides it's okay to cross since they only come out at night, but suddenly day turns to night. The witches start calling to Cora who continues to freak out. Hellboy tries carrying her but she soon starts vomiting insects, bloating and then exploding releasing a waveof insects and other vermin which swarm over Tom and Hellboy. Hellboy disappears into the darkness. He dreams of seeing a giant cathedral, walks in as is confronted by what appears to be death covered in vermin. Hellboy lunges backwards suddenly into a bunch of trees where Tom is hiding. The vermin are gone now they see Effie Colb once again. Hellboy fires his gun at her, but hits a tree branch and Effie disappears. They make their way down to a church and mee a black, blind priest who says Cora came in only a minute before. Apparently he can see her ghost. The priest says that even though the Devil might have gotten Cora's body, he did not get her soul which is why she can be inside the church. They decide to wait until morning to bury Tom's dad's body as the church is surrounded now by witches. Tom is blaming himself for the mess they are in when the Crooked Man comes out to confront Tom and Hellboy.

The story is a pretty straight forward one. A young Hellboy and a directionless and regretful young man go out to confront mistakes of the past. The attraction for this story is the art and the setting. Tom Fisher is an interesting enough character, I suppose, though it's not like this kind of character hasn't been done before. What makes him even more interesting is the culture he comes from. The Appalachian mysticism that informs the story, the setting, the dialogue, the deceptive simpleness of it all. Richard Corben, take a bow. I don't think anyone else could draw this story. Corben nails it.

Two third sof the way through, I find it interesting that Hellboy takes a backseat in this story. He held equal time with Tom Fisher in the first issue, but really plays a supporting role in this series overall it seems. Hellboy does have an interesting character experience encountering Death in his dream. "Everybody knows the Devil can't set foot in a church." Foreshadowing the climax of this story and insight into Hellboy's nature as well I suppose. I would think, after the release of the new movie, that the natural inclination from a creator's standpoint would be to do a very Hellboy centric tale. Nope, and good on Mignola for telling the stories he wants to tell.

Overall, The Crooked Man is a pretty damn fine tale, and I'm enjoying it immensely. If you're waiting for the TPB that's fine but I would recommend picking up the single issues to enjoy now.

On Batman RIP

2008-08-16T01:54:00.001-05:00

So, being ever so pissed off at RIP, I re-read the entire Morrison run of Batman. After reading the Batman & Son collection I realized I was probably making a mistake for judging the present story from part one on, and yeah I was right. Morrison is crafting a huge story that's not gonna climax with part six of RIP. This thing is gonna be huge.

Given that, I'm reading Batman (for the record, the Club of Heroes story was and still is the shit) and I've come to certain conclusions. IF the Black Glove is revealed in RIP (and I'm starting to have my doubts that this will be the case) I think the two likeliest people it could be are either Alfred or Bruce Wayne himself.

Alfred is the only person in the world who knows Batman better then anyone. He's seen all his files, peered into his brain, been his most trusted confidante.....If anyone could beat Batman, it could only be Alfred. Alfred also has British military training and was a stage performer. He could blow smoke up anyone's butt. If anyone is capable, it's Alfred, but the motive is unclear. For Morrison's entire arc, Alfred has been haranguing Bruce to have a bit more of a social life, maybe even get laid. But I can't see that as a reason to tear Bruce Wayne's psyche apart.

Early in his Black Case Books, Bruce talks about his need to be able to think like men like the Joker. Not that he wants to, but that he needs to. What better way to think like a villain then to become a villain? But, Bruce Wayne can't possibly become a villain with the goal to hurt others, so naturally he would set things up to attack himself. And who would be the one to do the actual attacking?

Alfred!

We've seen references to a mysterious stalker early in Morrison's run, a black gloved individual spying on Bruce Wayne's movements. So obviously the Black Glove wouldn't literally be Batman himself. But we certainly aren't always privy to the whereabouts of Alfred at all times, are we?

That's my theory at least. Morrison is really making the answer pretty obvious if you ask me, and after reading the three page interlude in DCU #0 between Batman and the Joker, I was even more convinced that it's either Batman or Alfred or Alfred acting at the behest of Batman. It's not a perfect theory, mind you, but my gut informs me on this along with Morrison's own clues.

As for whether Simon Hurt is really Thomas Wayne, there was one almost throw away panel in RIP part three with Tim Drake looking through the missing Black Case Book with a clipping dated 1977 with a headline stating "Gotham's Hurt Missing." The possibility exists that Thomas Wayne could be Simon Hurt as the time frame between Hurt's disappearance in 1977 and Thomas Wayne's death would be only a couple of years apart (and Batman is over 30, as stated by Jezebel Jet). I thought that was interesting, but it could very well be an attempt by Morrison to mislead readers.

Morrison has stated that the revelation will be the biggest mindfuck in 70 years of Batman history. I doubt it's Thomas Wayne because that would simply ruin Batman's origin and piss everyone off. Though continuity might be a messy hodgepodge of various stories from the silver age until now, the basic premise of Batman is one that no one has fundamentally altered. DC Comics and Time Warner aren't going to let one uppity littel Scotsman ruin what is their biggest cash cow. While I think it's a brilliant bit of deception, Thomas Wayne is likely not The Black Glove.

It's also not Harley Quinn. Sure, the constant references to black and red checkerboard patterns is nice, but that would be gay. She's only made one little appearance in Morrison's run and that was in the Joker Prose story from issue #664.

LIke I said earlier, it's likely that no revelation will take place at the end of the arc. It's four issues in, and I honestly don't see it happening. Batman has to take on the Joker and, according to Previews, the last part is a confrontation with Jezebel Jet. We'll see what happens to Bruce Wayne and whether or not he continues to be Batman and if he sets aside the mantle who picks it up.

Batman #679 review

2008-08-15T04:13:00.002-05:00

Miracle on Crime Alley

Batman of Zurr-En-Arrh goes rampaging looking for answers on who's hiring new henchmen and gets the name Le Bossu. Consulting with some gargoyles on a rooftop, he fnds a transmitter stuck in his teeth leading a bunch of goons towards him. After beating their shit, Batmite spells a few things out for him. Batman of Zurr-En-Arrh is a back-up identity crafted in case of a psychological attack. Bruce Wayne shuts down, Zurr-En-Arrh Batman pops up. Robin takes on Swagman after contacting Squire and Knight (from the Club of Heroes arc). Next we see Charlie Caligula and King Kraken trying to get some heavy artillery loaded to ship out, at least until Batman comes and whoops 'em both. After that, Jim Gordan makes his way into Wayne Manor to talk to Bruce Wayne. His escort is killed and he's trapped in a booby trapped manor. Doctor Hurt is ranting away and beating on Alfred. Seems he really believes himself to be Thomas Wayne. Alfred isn't convinced. But Doctor Hurt vows to break Batman. Batman beats on Caligula some while Doctor Dax at Arkham prepares Nightwing for a lobotomy and takes over Arkham Asylum. Jezebel Jet is dragged into Wayne Manor while The Joker is informed of Batman's impending arrival.

Still confusing as ever.

Okay, now that Batman has gone batshit crazy, this issue feels a lot more focused then the last few, it has more direction. Batmite explains what's up a little, so that was good. Batman pounding ass is always a welcome sight. Unfortunately, I still feel that the story is just hobbling drunkenly along in confused fashion. There's plenty of cool shit in this issue. The scene with Batman talking to a couple of Gargoyles, seeing the "grid" that surrounds the city, or as Batman says, "A checkerboard, a blueprint, a machine designed to make Batman." Hey, fucked in teh head Batman is a fun Batman, I'll give Morrison that much. But reading that, I can't shake the feeling that Morrison was on massive amounts of some serious narcotics when writing this series. It feels like that, a giant trip, and stoner stories don't do much for me. Sure, I could get fucked up on qualoods, too, but I think any sort of fictional story oughtta be appreciated without them.

At this point, I will give Morrison one more point in his favor, much as this story is just pissing me off, I am eager to follow it through just to see how it ends. No, Batman isn't really dying, I know that much by now, but supposedly the ending wil be the most shocking ending in 70 years of Batman stories. Buddy, that'll get you readers! That it's evidently not Thomas Wayne, however, seems clear to me that Morrison is backing down. That would have pissed off everyone. The biggest shock and the biggest slap to Batman and his fans. Still, it would have been ballsy. Though to be honest, at this point I really don't care who the real villain anymore. I just want to see the arc over with.

Final Crisis: Revelations #1 review

2008-08-15T02:36:00.002-05:00

Revelations part one

The Spectre. Exacts vengeance. And Crispus Allen hates every last minute of it. Doctor Light? Yeah, he's fucked. Effigy? Totally fucked. Libra? Oh shit, wait a second! What is it about Libra that makes him untouchable and leaves the Spectre unable to exact God's vengeance? Hhmmmm...However, he does manage to take out the Hangmen, who were previously asking Libra's help in taking out the Titans. But then there is also Renee Montoya...let me review. Montoya has been running around with a group called The Order of The Stone in England. She's spying on a little boat in order to stow away. Something is going on involving a dive to retrieve some glowing red artifact attached to the end of a spear with "the power to kill a false god or to raise a new one..." Montoya goes on thee attack after this group brings this thing up, but this thing is too powerful. Some of this group is killed by the power of this thing, and Montoya and the weilder are facing each other down when the Spectre comes out to exact vengeance on...Renee Montoya!

Uh...I'm completely lost! The Spectre's part of the story is easy to follow along, and he gets some kick ass scenes totally fucking up villains, but the stuff with Montoya just loses me. I've not read Day of Vengeance, most of 52 or the Five Books of Blood mini and I'm just severely lost. Apparently all of this stuff really leads into this series in a major way. Even reading it, I could just tell that I'm missing out on all sorts of back story. What is this glowing red spear? What is the Order of the Stone? Who are these people Montoya is trying to stop? Clueless. Spectre? Hey, doing nothing but enacting vengeance, especially after having to kill your own son, will fuck a guy up. His motivations are simple to nail down, the Montoya stuff is leaving me with nothing. My problem, yes, and I'm going to have to research the backstory, but for that this issue isn't what I would call reader friendly.

Let me comment on Phillip Tan's art. Fuck yes. It's tight, looks good and flows wonderfully well. The more I look at it, the more awesome it is. So far, with all these Final Crisis books, you really can't say a bad thing about the art. DC is really pulling out all the stops in that department.

Overall.....well, confused as all hell about where the story is going. Supposedly this one and Legion of Three Worlds are going to be the two Final Crisis tie-ins that matter most. I can recommend it for the art alone, but unless you know the backstory leading into this series, I have to warn you that it's very confusing.

Secret Invasion #5 review

2008-08-15T01:28:00.002-05:00

The issue begins with Captain Marvel after his attack on the Thunderbolt's mountain headquarters. He's freaking out that he's a Skrull and Norman Osborn takes advantage of this fact, squeezing his conscience a little for the good guy's side. The Skrulls screwed up in one major regard, making their sleeper agents honestly believe their roles. Next we see Cassie Lang and the Young Avengers in Nick Fury's hide out, receiving a message from all the various Skrull sleeper agents from around the world. Paris Hilton, Magneto, Tom Cruise, Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Oprah...all Skrulls! Their message is, "We're invading cause you suck. You're inferior, depraved, ignorant, and worst of all you realize it. We're here to make your miserable little lives better." Up in orbit, Abigail Brand takes over a Skrull ship with the real Reed Richards. She shoots the entire crew out the airlocks. Sweet! Reed, unfortunately for her, is pretty severely traumatized by his whole experience what with his brain being poked and prodded to somehow put the Skrull's plan into action. So, he chokes Brand out. Fine by me, not my favorite character. On the SHIELD Helicarrier, Commander Hill is STILL fucking talking to Skrull Jarvis. STILL! FUCKING STILL! But it's soon revealed that that Commander HIll is an LMD. The real Commander Hill has taken up a sniper position, blows a couple of Skrulls away and then activates the self-destruct sequence on the helicarrier, blowing Skrull Jarvis to smithereens. Back in Orbit, Reed Richards is doing his thing when the floating Skrull corpses draw the attention of the rest of the fleet. They start attacking when Captain Marvel shows up and starts ruining shit. Fuck yeah! This gives Brand and Richards time to hightail it back to Earth to rally the good guys. Hopping into the Savage Land, where a mix of New and Mighty and Skrull Avengers (yep, still doing this shit) are mixing it up. Tony Stark is puking his guts out, Black Widow's poitning her guns everywhere, Spidey is freaking out, Kazar is freaking out, fucking everyone is freaking out. What the fuck, what the fuck? Reed Richards shows up and blasts some kinda cannon that causes the Skrulls to shift back to their original forms. All Skrulls are revealed! The short version? It looks like all the people on the ship that crash landed in the Savage Land in issue #1? Yep, all Skrulls. Even Mockingbird. They're all quickly dispatched ruthlessly. Sadly, and ruthlessly. The issue ends with Clint Barton vowing to kill every last Skrull.

So...alright! This issue feels like the story is actually moving somewhere. This is issue five of eight, but it feels like where issue two or three should have ended. It's less then epic the way things are playing out, but I feel that things are actually playing out. The shit with Maria Hill? Could have been done way sooner. The stuff in the Savage Land? Seriously, could have done this much sooner. The Captain Marvel thing? I could have sworn that that was already done in his mini-series, though I never read it. Also, the Vision is seen in this issue. Didn't he have his head blown off a couple of issues back? Must have been fixed in a tie-in. There are some continuity issues here. Oh, and the last page of the last issue? With Thor and Captain America? The page that showed a great deal of promise? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Not a peep from either character in this issue. Secret Invasion: Thor came out this week, sure, but he didn't appear in this issue. Jip!

As the series progresses, this book feels more and more superfluous. Most of Secret Invasion is being told in the tie-ins, and this is the anchor series. But as the series progresses, the main title doesn't feel so anchor-y. This title should stand on its own and it's clearly not. It still ratchets back and forth between disconnected events. Savage Land, helicarrier, Thunderbolts mountain...sure, now we're seeing those little bits tie together after a fashion, but slightly so. Brand, Richards and the Savage Land crew are together, but that it's taken five issues to get to this point seems like a complete waste. I'm loving the whole Secret Invasion concept in regards to the tie-ins, but this main title is proving to be...not so good.

Now there are things I did like. Maria Hill blowing up the helicarrier. Finally! Kill them fucking Skrulls! Captain Marvel attacking the Skrull Armada. very bad ass. Reed Richards revealing the Savage Land Skrulls? Awesome. Actually, that whole scene was the best moment in this series thus far. That scene, when they're taking out all the Skrulls, is intense. They know the score, but they're minds are so fucked with they take no satisfaction. Clint? Oh, poor Clint. Felt bad for the Skrulls as well. They didn't even know. As I said before, they honestly believed they were who they were and died thinking it was all some sort of trick. This scene hit the right notes, but it's a shame it took this long to get to this point. The problem with all these scenes of bad ass is, because it has taken so long, is the energy that should come with these little beats is drained. Yeah, it's always cool to see the heroes start kicking some ass after getting whomped, but faster please? It might read better in collected form, but in a monthly format no so much.

New ComicsThursday

2008-08-15T00:21:00.000-05:00

They came in!

Action Comics #868

Astonishing X-Men #26

Batman #679

Captain Britain & MI:13 #4

Final Crisis: Revelations #1

Green Lantern Corps #27

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #2

Secret Invasion #5

Alright, alright!

First reviews for tonight are gonna be Secret Invasion #5, Batman #679 and Final Crisis: Revelations #1. Maaaaaaaaybe Astonishing X-Men #26 if I have the time.

Buy.com FTW!

2008-08-15T00:14:00.001-05:00

Man, I was getting pissed off. An order of mine comes in with the a stamp that says "Received Damaged" and five out of the six books I ordered missing. Man, I was so pissed. Some fucking jack-off at Buy's warehouse didn't package my shit right and the box comes flying apart after being delivered to the post office. I thought, "Man, what a pain in the ass, gonna have to fucking haggle with Buy just to get my shit corrected, they'll probably want all sorts of verification, yada yada yada..."

Just got a message in tonight, a new shipment has been approved for the missing books.

HOORAY!

That's some pretty good service. It took a bit of time to get the whole thing sorted, I imagine someone had to call the Jersey City post office and ask, "Hey, what the fuck?" It was made longer by the fact I only have internet access at work. But overall, it seemed to go well. Answered a short series of questions to describe what the deal was in greater depth (and in less then two thousand characters without being a prick about the whole thing is a bit of a challenge). Seems I covered all my bases there.

Now I can spread the good word.

Comics are late

2008-08-13T23:59:00.001-05:00

Shipment won't arrive until tomorrow.

Apparently the truck broke down.

That's just weird.

Buy totally fucked me

2008-08-12T01:36:00.001-05:00

Yes they did.

Got a package in the mail today which, considering the size, I thought was the corrected edition of Ultimate Spider-Man volume six that I've been expecting.

Nnnnnoooooooooooottttt quite.

I had made a huge order last week. Ultimate Spider-Man 7-9, Batman & Son (first part of Grant Morrison's run), Whiteout: Melt and Annihilation: Conquest volume two. Well, it seems when the package was dropped off in Jersey City, the whole goddamn package must have disintegrated. So I got one book out of the six I ordered, Batman & Son. Seems the United States Postal Service was kind enough to put that book in a manilla envelope, slapped the original tracking label on their and sent it on its merry way. What happened to the other books in the order, I don't know. Why they were able to find one thin volume and not at least four others of considerably greater size is a mystery.

I can tell you the reason for the package imploding was because of...Buy.com. I really like Buy, I really do. They have great prices on books. Collecting comic book TPBs and hardcovers, Buy.com is an excellent resource for new shit. But this the second time in a row where something has gone wrong with an order. I can't really blame them for the first time, they wouldn't have known any better (though I am still waiting for the new copy), but it's a bad omen. This time, I can.

Buy's problem is they package books for shit. The first time I ordered something from them (Planet Hulk and Annihilation volumes two and three I believe), the package wasn't taped properly at all. It was a flat piece of cardboard, end flaps folded over then side flaps folded on top, taped only at the point those two flaps met. If it weren't for the fact that the end flaps were so long, the books could have gone flying out. Not that they couldn't have, it's a miracle that package came in one piece. Other packages have come in in poor condition as well, usually just beat to hell but indicating poor manufacturing (never have to wonder how Buy saves its money). This isn't always the case, but it seems to be the case a great deal of the time.

This is a first for me. I've gotten defective shit and wrong items before, hazards of ordering online, but you would think a company would make sure to ship items in packaging capable of making the trip. This one didn't even make it past the point of origin!

I suppose it could be the fault of the USPS. Could very well be. Someone could have used it to play an impromptu game of hockey on the warehouse floor. Insane howler monkeys could have gotten loose or an employee with a bizarre sexual fetish involving weighty media mail shipments could have violated the integrity of the package. However, the USPS, being a government owned business, is officially never responsible for lost, damaged or stolen items. Shit.

So I email Buy and await a response. It's not how a company fucks up that determines the quality of the customer service, it's how they resolve the fuck ups.

New pillows!

2008-08-11T06:37:00.001-05:00

Damn, been like ten years since I last bought pillows. It was shortly after seeing Iron Maiden in San Benito. Ten bucks a piece, not bad I guess. Got 'em from Target.

Also got a copy of The Producers for ten bucks. The original version, with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder, not the crappy remake.

The DVD collection...it increases!

Actually almost walked out with a 20th anniversary copy of The Princess Bride but I figured, hell, I already own that one, if I'm gonna spend ten bucks (it was on sale) might as well get something I don't own. Looking down the rows of DVDs, I saw that they're marketing a bunch of 80s movies in special packaging.

Speaking of the 80s, what the hell is up with the recent 80s nostalgia recently? Guess my generation is getting all sentimental n'shit.

Detective Comics #847 review

2008-08-08T04:09:00.002-05:00

The Last Good Day: Heart of Hush part two (Batman RIP tie-in)

Interesting start to the issue as Hush, Thomas Elliot, hunts "Batman" in his hospital for freaks and kills him. Standing over the body, Hush remembers when he and Bruce Wayne were boys at summer camp. Bruce's mother had twisted Tommy's mother into letting him go but as the two enjoy a leisurely moment in a canoe, Tommy's mother appears calling him over to take him back home. After her and her husband's car accident, the one caused by Tommy Elliot when he cut the brake lines, she's been obsessed with Tommy's safety. After being taunted by one of the other boys at camp, Tommy beats the shit out of him with a shovel landing him in a psychiatric ward. Lucky for him, his therapist is Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow! Tommy and Crane talk and he bullshits his way into getting an early release. Coming back to the present, Elliot removes the mask from "Batman" and we see that it's one of his staff and has the body harvested of its organs. We jump on over to seeing Nightwing, Robin and Batman knock around The Wonderland Gang during a bank robbery. Afterwards, the three are talking on top of the bank and Batman warns them that Hush is back and warns them to be careful and to "Strike at every shadow." From here we jump on over to a scene between Selina Kyle and Zatanna. Zatanna is running a game of three card monte which Selina keeps beating her at. The topic of conversation turns to Bruce Wayne, which both have romantic interests in. However, Zatanna cedes that ground when she says that she has moved on after being rejected. During this whole conversation, however, we see that Hush has a close eye on the both of them. The issue ends with a young patient in a psych ward being take to have a session with...The Scarecrow!

All told, the more I learn about Hush, the more interested I am in his character. Hush's petty jealousies, his relationship with his mother, I dig it. Hush is still a relatively new character, so taking the opportunity to really flesh him out now will make him that much more interesting in the future. And I sympathize with the urge to beat the shit out of people in a violent fashion every time I hear someone talk trash. Should that scene be an example of a negative character trait? Cause I woulda said that little fucker had it coming.

But the scene that really stands out most in this issue for me was the bit between Selina and Zatanna. Dini just LOVES these characters. Why not just give this guy a new Zatanna series. I hear they're canceling Catwoman, hand him the reigns to a new one. RELAUNCH! (Though according to Wikipedia he's supposed to be doing a Zatanna/Black Canary hardcover graphic novel...sweet!) But I just love the notion of Zatanna acting the part of a hussler. That's just too funny. And trying to pull one over on Catwoman of all people? It's a tiny little scene in the end, but honestly it made the issue for me. Kinda sucks that this might be the end of any romantic entanglements between Zatanna and Batman, though. Not that they would ever get together, but the notion that Zatanna would actively pursue him is an interesting one. Maybe Dini came to the conclusion that it would be pointless, and it would be, but played right it could be entertaining.

So how does this connect with RIP? Well, it seems Robin was the only series to connect with RIP in a direct manner. Nightwing and Detective Comics? Well, they mention the stuff with The Black Glove. Surely by now everyone knows how little the side stories connect with RIP, but I think it's a little cheap for DC to slap the label on the Bat books like they did.

So all told, it's a decent issue. Regular readers I think will enjoy it well enough, though if you're clamoring for major RIP action don't bother.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #17 review

2008-08-08T03:41:00.003-05:00

Time of Your Life part 2

This issue backtracks a bit over the previous issue so that we see what Fray was up to just prior to Buffy's appearance (kicking some vampire ass). After a bit with Fray's brother and some mysterious witch, we jump back in time to Willow and crew in the immediate aftermath of Buffy's disappearance then hopping over to Xander and the Slayers after the destruction of the castle. Things are pretty messed up with lots of Slayers dead, but Xander does his best to keep everyone focused. The fires around them are burning green, so they were hi9t with a magic missile and then find themselves being assaulted by flaming green snake men. Xander is about to have his shit ruined before Centaur Dawn shows up and tells Xander to get, uh...to uh...oh, shit, I don't wanna spoil this moment. So they bug out and we're back t Fray who's now fighting the monster Buffy replaced in her little time switch and Willow explaining to the New York group the potentialm hows and why-fors. From here on it's Buffy and Fray. Buffy is getting her ass whomped pretty much but she manages to get Fray to listen to her and she quickly comes around. Buffy is caught up on the "current" Slayer situation (There's only one again...well, one and a half). Fray gets Buffy up to speed on her evil twin brother, Harth. He's apparently a vampire. Buffy is also introduced to Gunther, a big fish dude. Fray and Gunther start talking but Buffy starts phases them out after the realization of everything that's happening starts to hit her. Back to Harth and the mysterious witch woman, it looks like they're preparing for a huge battle and we find out the identity of this big bad ass witch woman.

To be honest, this Fray story.....not my bag. Whedon is making it easy enough to follow for those not familiar with Fray and I'm definitely one of those people, but.....I just don't really care. This story might be really cool, but I'm just not interested in Fray at all. The future speak dialogue we get from her is a little grating. The story feels very much like filler. I understand if Joss Whedon wants to wrap up the whole Fray story, but it's feeling pretty tedious to me already.

Not to say there aren't parts of this issue that I didn't like. The attack on the castle? That shit really fired me up. It's too bad it's a subplot. The bit between Xander and Dawn was pretty damn funny as well.

I'm also very interested in this Harth character. Well, not so much the character so much as his connection to Fray. Fray describes that he's got all her memories and her connections to the Slayers, but with some vampire action going on as well. That's cool stuff.

The last issue was all set-up, which is fine, but so is this issue. Nothing really important happens and, since it's a four part story, I don't imagine anything really major is gonna happen at all. Two more parts, what can they do? This issue should have been all Buffy and Fray if you ask me. Honestly, if they concentrated more on that, I probably would have latched on to the story a lot easier. As it stands, I don't feel like I know any of these characters and I'm just sitting out Whedon's little vanity trip. Maybe one for the diehard Buffy fans, but for a more casual fan like myself it's a bit of a bore.

Nightwing #147 review

2008-08-07T03:38:00.002-05:00

The Great Leap part one (Batman RIP tie-in)

Nightwing goes to Manhattan to meet with Two-Face. Two-Face needs a favor, help protect a former colleague of his under Federal protection for witnessing some sort of major crime by a major...guy (it's not said who). Of course, to get Nightwing's help, he kidnaps two people and puts them in a deadly situation (being asphyxiated in a sugar refinery...go figure). Nightwing agrees, gets the information on bother the DA colleague and the two kidnap victims, then punches Two-Face the fuck out. Back in Gotham, the DA, Carol Bermingham is being escorted out of her hotel to court when the Federal agents escorting her turn out to be hired assassins sent to kill her. Yeah, Nightwing to the rescue. A bad ass rescue, actually, before she zaps him in the face with mace. The mask, apparently, comes in handy in other non-identity concealing ways. Cool. So Nightwing gets Bermingham to court and watches outside. After...well, what, testifying I guess? Maybe they were just getting some preliminary shit outta the way? Anyway, they're escorting Bermingham to a chopper when a sniper just starts popping the guys around her. They take off, but the pilot gets his head blown off. Nightwing pulls a hangglider out of his or something and flies towards the chopper to get Bermingham before the thing crashes into a building and explodes. He saves her, the chopper explodes, but now he's got a shit ton of shrapnel in his back and crash lands on a rooftop with Bermingham safe and him bleeding all over the place. To be continued...

Okay, so even if there was some stuff that lacked explanation I thought it was a pretty cool issue. Tomasi rocked it pretty well with the action. Nightwing skydiving into Manhattan, Nightwing flying through the Feds/assassin's car windshield, Nightwing saving Bermingham in the chopper and bleeding profusely on the ground.....I don't think Tomasi is happy unless buckets of blood are shed in any given comic. Man, this guy loves him some violence. Watching a bit too much anime, though, cause these characters bleed by the gallon. Still, some exciting stuff. It's light on character work, though Tomasi tries making Harvey Dent seem somewhat of a sympathetic character, talking about how he fell in love with the DA Bermingham but never wanted to break his vows to his wife Gilda (funny, cause I just got done re-reading The Long Halloween and this bit bugged me a bit).

What this book has to do with RIP.....didn't Nightwing end up in Arkham in the last issue of Batman? So where, exactly, does it take place in relation? Before part one, two or...well, clearly before part three I suppose. That's really my only complaint. Everything else, the clunky dialogue, the contrived plot devices, minor stuff that takes a back seat to some kick ass intense action. The relation to RIP, however, is the kicker. This is why I hate Batman events. HATE Batman events. Cataclysm suffered cause of DC's marketing machine and their insistence on marking the side stories as consequential chapters in line with the main story (they weren't and fans got screwed out of a couple of extra bucks). This is the same in a way, but it's not even a side story. Just appreciate it for what it is. This issue is a pretty tight thriller kinda story, and if the remainder of the arc is like this it could kick some serious ass.

Though, before I forget, there is the opening page which I guess is supposed to be some metaphorical foreshadowing stuff. While skydiving into Manhattan, Dick flies into a clowd of bats, killing at least one head on. Yeah, what's that tell you? Hinting that maybe Dick Grayson is gonna be Batman soon? Yeah? Maybe? Eh? Ah, whatever, pick the issue up anyway, it's fun shit.

Final Crisis #3 review

2008-08-07T01:39:00.002-05:00

Know Evil

Frankenstein and SHADE invade the Dark Side Club finding the remains of Darkseid's human host. The Question, who was in the club, bugs out and Frankenstein watches a little desktop PC pointer hand scrawls "Know Evil" on a wall. While this is happening, NAZI Supergirl from one of the 52 Earths falls to Earth 1. Renee Montoya, the Question, is captured by SHADE at this point. We run over to that recently expelled and now human Monitor get fired from his fast food job. THEN we hop on over to Jay Garrick talking about his recent encounter with Barry Allen at the end of last issue, racing to stop the time bullet that killed Orion. He explains how he lost track of Barry and Wally West when his knee gave out. THEN over on to Libra ,Lex Luthor and the Human Flame. Libra pops some helmet on the Human Flame which seems to have the affect of giving him some major bloodlust. Libra puts it to Luthor, accept his offer or lose all free will when Apokolips comes to Earth. THEN we pop on over to Clark Kent at Lois's bedside in the hospital when some mysterious woman, probably from the future, comes and says the only way to save Lois is to follow her (cue Legion of Three Worlds mini). THEN we pop on over to the JLA. We see Hal in shackles get carted off to OA. Wonder Woman, Alan Scott and Black Lightning talking about the threat they're facing when Alan Scott gets the bright idea to invoke an old law from World War II, a super-hero draft, to collect an army of heroes to stand against.....someone! THEN we pop over to Mister Miracle Shilo Norman and Super Sumo get attacked at an airport in Japan but then rescued by the Super Young Team. THEN back to Wonder Woman on the outskirts of Blüdhaven along with the Atomic Knights. Going in to examine...stuff...they're attacked by Mary Marvel. Wait, holy shit, something's happening. Hey look, Mary Marvel's getting whored out some more. Mary Marvel takes out one of the Atomic Knights while her and Wonder Woman go at it. Wonder Woman gets the advantage and puts Mary on her knees. Mary reveals that the Gods of Apokolips are inhabiting human bodies (not news to the reader) and the fight was a distraction so that Mary could release a virus making Wonder Woman the carrier. While Wonder Woman is getting infected, Mokkari, one of Darkseid's people, releases emails the entire world what I presume to be the Anti-Life equation. Oracle makes a last ditch attempt to, uh..."kill the net" but it's too late. We pop on over now to Barry Allen and Wally West coming out of the Speed Force after failing to stop the time bullet. It's a few weeks into the future now.Wally is still in a bit of a shock at seeing Barry again. While Barry is lamenting his inability to save Orion, we see behind them a monsterfied Wonder Woman and crew ready to kill.

The issue is called "Know Evil" but I would have called it "LOL, Whut?" Seriously, can someone explain to me what the hell is going on? Three issues in to a seven issue miniseries and it feels like the world's longest prelude. Man, this series is turning into a fucking joke. I still hold out hope, Grant Morrison could still knock us on our asses here, but...wow. On the one hand, glad I picked up those Seven Soldiers of Victory TPBs, otherwise I would be more mystified then I already am by characters like Frankenstein showing up. But that's the problem with this series, it's been nothing but a random series of events taking us nowhere. Five pages of Alan Scott gathering a super-hero army for...what? The world just got taken over by Darkseid in the blink of an eye. Complete waste of time. Two pages of Clark Kent? Look, we all know about the Legion of Three Worlds and Superman Beyond, man, no need to set it up in this series. And NAZI Supergirl? The only reason I even know who this character is is because I read it here.

This series is one WTF moment after the next, ending at the point where issue #1 should have ended. Earth has been taken over, great, and? I feel that, maybe, there's some huge joke I'm not getting. That maybe this whole series is supposed to be a satirical farce that maybe I'm just taking too seriously. Grant Morrison getting all his little Silver Age obsessions out of the way so he can go back to doing serious and interesting stories at Vertigo again? A high minded, heavy handed "artistic" attempt at deconstructing the oft used summer event series? I just have no idea. All I know is three issues in and it's crap. Maybe issue #7 ties it all together into a rather impressive story but right now it stands as crap. Seriously. DC just handed Marvel a huge sales victory. It's not like Secret Invasion (the main series) is any better, hell, it suffers similar problems, but Marvel has certainly handled their big event infinitely better in regards to the overall story and the tie-ins. DC has a bunch of tie-in mini-series and one-shots coinciding with this one, but only a couple of them have been released so far and I'm coming to the understanding that Rogue's Revenge is less Crisis oriented and more like Geoff Johns wanting to wrap up some stuff from his run on The Flash. But I guess that's all related to something that's been lingering in the back of my mind which is what is DC trying to accomplish with Final Crisis? Grant Morrison has called it the Lord of the Rings of the DCU, whatever the hell that means.

I don't know, the longer this series goes on, the more burned I feel by the whole thing. Secret Invasion doesn't piss me off as much as this series, only cause I never had any expectations for that event. Could be good, could be crap, who cares? Final Crisis was a series I had expectations for and it's failing spectacularly. Three wasted issues, little progress. A hundred ideas are being bounced around, but the direction is severely lacking. The art is the lone saving grace at this point and JG Jones is kicking ass in that department, but it's not enough.

This series...skip it. I'm locked in myself at this point. Most of the series has been solicited, and the way my dealer works means I'd be on the title through issue six as it is so why not get all seven by this point? But as it stands, I can't recommend this book.

Robin #176 review

2008-08-07T01:06:00.002-05:00

Gathered Pieces (Batman RIP tie-in)

Last issue, Robin left a huge wad of cash with Penguin with the request that should the Penguin hear anything about Batman, Robin would be notified instantly. Robin is notified about some Chinese gang in Gotham having a couple of cell phone pics in their possession, so the Boy Wonder takes off after them to knock them around for their pics. Spoiler is along for the ride and actually comes into possession of said phone but, for whatever reason, deletes the pics. And...well, long story short, Robin confronts the Penguin to see if he's been bullshitting him, but the Penguin reveals that the reason he knows about these pics is cause they were emailed to him. Robin dials back the source to find the phone on Spoiler. Spoiler reveals that Batman wanted her to do...whatever she was asked to do...for Robin's own good so that he could be his own man. Or something.

This ends the RIP sequence in Robin and, honestly, it was pretty pointless. The story was basically characters talking in circles. Nothing relevent happens at all. It's mostly Time flashing back to their year off during 52, grasping for connections between his time in Nanda Parbat and his present state. There's some stuff with that female cop, One of the Black Glove folks named Swagman attacking Robin, a silhouette taking the Red Robin costume that Jason Todd abandoned at the end of Countdown.....nothing really interesting or substantial happens. Really, I thought after the end of the last issue something interesting would happen. They left it open. No real character work, nothing that adds to the RIP story...it's a filler story. Whether or not this has to do with Dixon leaving or if this was just a cheap way for DC to cash in, but either way these past two issues of Robin have been wasted space. (The Red Robin thing could be interesting, but we all know it's Jason Todd.)

There is one saving grace, though. Last week, I said that the stuff between Tim and Dick was pretty cool. Even though it's not given much play this issue, those scenes are still the most interesting. I still say a Nightwing & Robin book would kick ass. Cancel both and reboot. It would give writers a new angle to write both these characters. Cause, come on, Nightwing the whoremonger and Robin the angsty teenager get old eventually.

New Comics Wednesday

2008-08-07T00:13:00.003-05:00

Comics!

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #17

Detective Comics #847

Final Crisis #3

Nightwing #147

Robin #176

For DC heavy this week without a trace of Marvel. Got both covers for Final Crisis...sorta. Cover A is actually sitting in my pull slot at the shop. Andy's still unable to run credit/debit cards and I usually don't carry cash. The sooner he gets that stuff working again, the better. I hate carrying cash.

Reviews for Robin, Final Crisis and Nightwing will be up later.

Saw The Dark KNight again tonight

2008-08-03T00:29:00.001-05:00

Still kicks ass the second time around.

Green Lantern Corps #26 review

2008-08-02T04:18:00.002-05:00

Ring Quest conclusion

Mongul's trashed the Lanterns and is berating Mother Mercy for her sudden crisis of conscience. After trying to intimidate her back into submission, he turns to Duel, the conjoined twin psychopath, to watch and make sure Mother Mercy follows through on her job to absord the Lanterns and release their rings. Then he cuts them in two and takes one half with him. After being briefly forced to relive their fears, Mother Mercy draws them into the ground to absord them. In truth, this is a ruse to distract the half of duel that was left. A ring pops out of the ground, but Duel is quickly dispatched by Guy Gardner. Definitively. Sweet. Mother Mercy points the way Mongul went and our Lanterns go after him. Duel's ring flies off in search of the other half but he, too, is ended quickly. From here, it's Mongul versus the Green Lanterns as they tear into each other. Mongul, with six yellow Sinestro Corps rings, holds them off with ease. A total stalemate. That is until Lantern Bzzd, the little house fly Lantern, bursts out of Monguls face. The remaining Lanterns take the opportunity to blast him back towards Mother Mercy, who starts to absorb his body for nutrients. The Lanterns win, but at a cost. Bzzd, who had to get inside Mongul somehow (not shown, don't wanna know, thanks), dies from his injuries sustained during the fight. Oddly, Bzzd's ring and Duel's ring both end up on Mother Mercy for the fact that she can both overcome and instill great fear. Ultimately, she rejects the Sinestro Corps ring and becomes a Green Lantern leaving our group to head back to OA.

With the Ring Quest arc over, I can say Tomasi did a fairly decent job with a straight up action story. A pretty good job. This arc has been gore, gore, gore and that's cool with me. Mongul cutting Duel in half? Bzzd exploding out of Mongul's face? The ring of corpses around Mother Mercy's planet? (Looking back at the cover, very much not approved by the Comics Code Authority.)

The arc hasn't been an intense character study, so if you're looking for that kinda thing you can pass. There were eight or nine Lanterns in this group, and only a couple have really stood out. The rest seemed stuck in the periphery. Not that it really matters, this books is about the Green Lantern Corps, after all. Once this arc comes out in TPB, and if you haven't read it, pick it up. It's definitely one for the fan that loves him some big action and massive gore.

X-Men: Legacy #214 review

2008-08-02T01:26:00.002-05:00

Xavier vs Sinister vs Amanda Mueller vs Gambit & Sebastian Shaw

I think that sums up the issue well, doesn't it?

Xavier is battling Mr. Sinister for control of his mind while Sinister, in control of Xavier's body, fights Amanda Mueller on the one hand and Gambit and Shaw on the other. In the mental fight, he forces Xavier to relive all of his failures of will (like against Onslaught and when Stryfe shot him full of techno-organic virus). Sinister's fight against Gambit and Shaw goes his way early and quickly using his now enhanced telepathic abilities to take control of the people around him (Gambit freaking out at his apparent resurrection doesn't help either). Mueller manages to trap them all briefly, and removes Gambit and Shaw from the fight but Sinister uses his telepathy against Mueller to take control of her body and ultimately uses the Alamagordo facilities defensed to his advantage (since he's the one that basically built them) to remove Mueller from the equation. Shaw and Gambit quickly escape their confinement and return to fight Sinister, who still has the upper hand. However, Xavier finally breaks free of his mental torment and begins fighting back in his mind, hobbling Sinister. Gambit and Shaw quickly start assualting the Chronus machine as they realize this is the only way to truly beat Sinister. Gambit charges up Shaw to give him an insane power boost and takes it out with one swift blow. With Sinister no longer able to use the machine to take possession of Xavier's body, Xavier expels him finally. With Xavier's body now apparently healed from last issues gun shots to the torso, Xavier realizes he now has to go to Scott Summers. In the epilogue, we see Sebastian Shaw talking with a mysterious stranger about the events up to that point. The stranger turns out to be...Miss Sinister? EH?!?!?!?!

I've been saying that since this title was renamed Legacy and focused on Xavier, it's massively improved and honestly this is still a quality title hands down. Reading everything Carey was doing prior to Messiah Complex and Legacy was a pretty painful experience. Nothing jived with me and I was left cold. Post-Messiah Complex, however, it's been great. Some ups and downs, but hey, nothing's perfect.

That said, this issue was.....not quite as good as it could have been? Not in any character sense or the like, but it seems like they rushed the climax a bit. Personally, I was hoping this Chronus thing was gonna run a bit longer and be more fleshed out. It was really interesting to be able to dive deep into Xavier's childhood past and get an opportunity to see characters like Sebastian Shaw and, if briefly, the Juggernaut. Sinister's return was really cool as well, if a bit soon after Messiah Complex. I think if maybe Carey had taken one issue more to finish up this story, I think it would have been a bit better. Not that I didn't enjoy it, mind, but it did lack a little something. There were some questions like how is it that Xavier, after taking three shots to the torso, is no worse for wear? The workings of the Chronus device again? Also, since Xavier's memory is swiss cheesed, why can he still remember things like Onslaught and Stryfe and the deal with the Brood Queen? As much as I enjoy Carey's run on Legacy, he really is very selective in regards to what Xavier can and can't remember about himself. Is it safe to assume that all his failures stick in his mind easier then his successes? I suppose it's true that people are probably more prone to remember the bad times easier then the good. Is this getting abck to the point of the series, Xavier trying to validate his existence when all he has to his credit is failure?

It's cool, though. Going back over the current arc, and I think the ending of this issue will bear me out, is that this series isn't doing anything so deep that it can't have a great deal of fun at the same time. I mean, seriously, Miss Sinister? You've gotta be fucking kidding me? Though there are probably a lot of people out there that just groaned and fell over at that ending, personally I thought it was fantastic. Carey still needs to explain what the hell that's all about, is this Nathanial Essex in a new body or is this a completely new character altogether? Either way, I thought it was cool shit. This arc has been strangely over the top in some ways since the beginning, and that ending sealed the deal for me. The tone of Legacy has been one that could be taken too seriously and this really helps to lighten that tone. Miss fucking Sinister...geez!

While this issue isn't perfect, while Legacy hasn't been perfect, I think right now it's probably the best mainline X-Men title out. Astonishing takes too long between issues and is fairly insular continuity wise. Uncanny just.....sucks. Carey, on the other hand, is bringing some really cool shit to X-Men that makes it worth reading again on a monthly basis.

Thor #10 review

2008-08-01T04:20:00.002-05:00

The truth of Balder is revealed.

So, it would seem that, so far, Loki isn't full of shit. Balder's dad really is Odin. Apparently banged his mother, Frigga, after some hardcore partying and kept his heritage secret after a prophecy was revealed to him through a dream and the word of an ancient demon. The prophecy was that should Balder die during Ragnarok, he would be rebron and continue Odin's line, but if he were to die before Ragnarok then Odin's line would be doomed. So Balder's nature is kept hidden from all but Thor (though Loki learned this somehow independently).

Very little happens, but I was engrossed in the mythological aspects of it. The tales of Odin's shenanigans, all that stuff is cool. It's those aspects of the storytelling that have really strengthened this title since about issue #7 (not to mention this is also what makes The Incredible Hercules work as well). Of course, you can't trust Loki, not one bit. Hell, reading this issue I kept it in the back of my mind that he's up to something. When Thor confesses the truth, I figured...Enchantress is in on it. She's gotta be. They're setting up something big that's gonna tear Asgard apart, aren't they? So we're finally getting somewhere with this series story-wise. The first six issues pretty much fell flat for me, going nowhere fast or being preachy and stupid.....Straczynski was really pissing me off. One of the greatest Marvel characters of all time and he was ruining it. Well, now that he got all that shit outta the way, he's really doing a helluva job crafting some really interesting stories. I mean, I'm not sure what I think about the notion that Balder is the son of Odin, but I'm interested to see where it goes from here.

One of the other things I've found myself loving is how the Asgardians are relating to the little bumfuck Kansas town that they reside near. The opening page is a shot of a little sparrow hopping from decrepit sign to decrepit sign until it lands on a brand spanking shiny new road sign that says "ASGARD 5 miles." I thought that was funny as shit. And then we see a group of gawkers paying five bucks a pop for the "Best view of Asgard." Just great. Also the continuing story of Bill! Go Bill!

This is another surprisingly strong issue from a series that was an early disappointment. I can't believe I'm gonna be dropping it soon. I...really want to stick around to see what goes on. Straczysnki is telling the stories he should have been telling from issue one. The social commentary was fucking killing me. If not for the fact that it was all ill conceived and never touched accurately upon what he was commenting on, they just weren't Thor stories. This is what I'm talking about. The trials and tribulations of gods!

Hell yes, pick this shit up.

Green Lantern #33 review

2008-08-01T02:30:00.002-05:00

Secret Origin Part 5

Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hector Hammond is mentally raping Hal Jordan when Sinestro comes along and saves his bacon by, uh, gently suffocating Hector Hammond until he's unconscious. Just prior to this, we see a young fellow named William Hand, who works at his parents mortuary, get a hard-on over some dead body. After the Hammond incident, we see that the big giant bastard monster that Abin Sur was transporting has broken into a gun store, killed everyone inside, and his crafted some sort of device to track down...William Hand! He's constructing a device and babbling something about the "power of the black" and it seems William Hand is in possession of it. Cut back to Hal and Sinestro who are flying across the desert chatting away when a message Abin Sur left in his ring is activated. The message reveals the purpose of his mission. Abin Sur discovered many secrets, particularly the time when the Guardians on OA created the Manhunters who went insane and killed the inhabitants of an entire space sector. That is, all but five. Those five's goal is now the destruction of the Guardians and discovered a power that Sur describes as "A black devoid of life." The prisoner he was transporting was one of these "Five Inversions" (as they called themselves) called Atrocitus, who survives the crash (obviously). So now Hal and Sinestro are on a mission to stop Atrocitus who has finally tracked down William Hand, trying to feel up another corpse. They engage Atrocitus in a graveyard but the device he built drains them of the power in their rings leaving them powerless at issue's end.

Alright! I really see where Johns is going with this story. Here I thought it was gonna be just a run of the mill origin story, used just to keep Hal out of present DC continuity while Final Crisis runs its course, but it looks like Johns is using this to set up next year's Blackest Night storyline. I dig it. This makes me even more excited for that story, cause Johns has been doing huge things with Hal Jordan and made him probably DC's best all around character.

But also, I love what he does with Sinestro. Until I started reading the Sinestro Corps War (I haven't yet picked up the earlier parts of this series) I never really bought Sinestro as a major villain and the notion that he was Hal Jordan's mentor was just stupid. Not anymore! Is it too much to ask for maybe a Sinestro miniseries datailing his days as a good guy? Well, not really good so much as a well meaning fascist. A story with him and Abin Sur would be pretty friggin sweet. When Sinestro sees the message from Abin Sur, and at least the way Reis draws it, it's clear from Sinestro's reaction that there's a long and deepo history between the two that is worth delving in to. Maybe the moment when Sinestro became a Green Lantern. Unless this story has already been told...well, even if it has, retell it! Put Johns on the job, he can do it! And knock it out of the ballpark as well.

This continues to be the best title anywhere, do pick it up.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

2008-08-01T02:02:00.004-05:00

In brief, it kinda sucked.

In fact, taken as a movie, it blew.

Taken as a two part episode of the TV series, however, it was okay.

Considering the series ended with Mulder and Scully on the run and the movie shows them...doing things that don't involve running...I can't help but watch the movie thinking that everyone showed up just to get paid. Chris Carter directed and wrote it with Frank Spotnitz, but personally, with the budget they had, I can't help but feel they were embezzling. Seriously, the movie did not feel like $30 million dollars, unless inflation is so bad that $30 million can't even get you half a step above TV show quality.

The story between Mulder and Scully felt dead on arrival in many places. They looked like they were just chewing scenery more and acting less. I'm not expecting Oscar caliber, but it's not asking much to at least put in some effort.

The stuff with Amanda Peet and Billy Connely was cool, they really should have stuck with that. Peet's character comes across as a Mulder-lite, sort of X-Files: The Next Generation. But she dies just when you're starting to really dig her. Billy Connely plays a psychic pedophile priest. Man, I've never been more grateful for a pedophile priest, because he pretty much saves the movie. Him and the fact that Gillian Anderson is even hotter then ever. Man, seriously, she needs to get her tits out.

Oh, and Xzibit? I guess that's where the $30 million dollars went, right up his nose. I don't know why they felt the need to craft a one note character that serves no purpose and leaves midway through as less then an afterthough because...they were expecting Xzibit's dozens upon dozens of fans to flood the theaters and make them big money? Jesus jumpin Christ, what a complete waste of time and money.

The movie ends on a relatively and deliberately ambiguous note. Mulder puts it to Scully that they can run away again or never give up and when presented with a difficult decision to make regarding a medical patient of hers (a running subplot throuh the movie) Scully never gives up. I think the creative team has. No one gave a shit making this movie. This was a cynical way to cash in on a franchise while putting the final nail in its coffin. The fans, if they even know the movie is out, will be sorely disappointed with the final product presented to them. A one course meal thrown together on the fly, spit upon and served on a cracked platter before being slapped across the face and spited.

I took my mom to see it tonight. I was never a big fan of the show and pretty much stopped watching after the first movie was released. Personally, I didn't much care one way or the other. Like I said, taken as an episode of the TV show, it was okay. For her, seeing as it's one of her favorite shows of all time, I think it was a massive disappointment. So very little for a fan that's been so very loyal and that's a fucking shame.

Justice League of America #23 review

2008-08-01T00:26:00.003-05:00

Things Fall Apart

Thank...you...GOD!

The issue can be summed up neatly...Amazo beats the shit out of the JLA. Seriously, beats them hardcore.

Well, there is a little story. It starts off with Zatanna, Black Canary and Vixen sitting around talking about her powers issues and Zatanna attempts to use magic to correct it. When that fails, she examines the source of the issue which is apparently some giant bastard spider creature which Zatanna is unable to use her magics on. It's an odd beginning to an issue that otherwise kicks ass. Now I tore into the last issue of this title going on about how awful it was but this issue.....look, McDuffy's run is pretty much a joke by this point and I don't particularly care where this story goes, but the action was so fucking awesome this issue that I am gonna pick up next month's issue.

So Amazo hands Superman his ass. Flash comes in with an 800 pound rod (when could Flash pick up 800 pounds?) and skewers Amazo but failing to kill him. Amazo goes on the attack and it's just...bam...bam...bam...keeps on hitting Wally with all the powers of the JLA. Wally, however, gives it one last go before he collapses and uses the Speed Force to drain Amazo's super speed. Firestorm comes at him...beats his ass. Hawkgirl...beats her ass. He's about to lay the smackdown on WonderWoman and Black Lightning before Green Lantern Hal Jordan shows up and blasts a giant hole through Amazo's chest. So he beats it to the lower levels of the Hall of Justice (ugh!). Superman, Canary, Zatanna and Vixen are looking for him together when he appears and quickly dispatches them all except for Vixen who, who is now absorbing the powers of her teammates, attempts to absord those powers from Amazo. Some sort of crazy feedback thing happens between the two the issue ends with Amazo about ready to bash her head in.

This issue was just very exciting. It takes me back to the Morrison JLA series when they were treated as a pantheon facing these huge threats. No piddling around, just big adventures with big characters doing big crazy things. This issue felt like that again. Big characters getting their asses hammered in a big way leading me to expect a big spectacular end for the story. Granted, McDuffy still has his problems. The transitions between scenes are still pretty weak. It starts off with a roundtable discussion and examination and then just ratchets to Batman and Steel recovering from Amazo's attack on them in the last issue. Smooth it aint. For this issue, hoever, not a problem. If McDuffy can keep this kind of tension and excitement on a regular basis, I would be super happy. Alas, one good issue among a string of dreck isn't enough to keep me happy.

I did say I would pick up the next issue. I will. The climax of this issue is really good. Would I recommend picking this issue up? Mmmmmmmm.....Well, it's a week old already, right? If you haven't, sure. If you haven't been reading the title you can get the gist of what's happening fairly quickly. Any fans disappointed by the last issue, like me, will get a real kick out of this issue.

Uncanny X-Men #500 review

2008-07-31T05:58:00.002-05:00

SFX

The story is really simple. The X-Men move to San Fransisco. They're setting up shop. They attend an art exhibition that uses two decomissioned Sentinals. They fight Magneto, who is using a suit created by the High Evolutionary that mimics his powers. The fight is a distraction so that the High Evolutionary can meddle around with the Dreaming Celestial. They both escape. Later, the artist who created the exhibit is found murdered and Pixie, the soon to be newest X-Man, is assaulted by members of the Hellfire Cult.

The issue is written by Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction with art chores alternating between Greg Land and Terry Dodson. It's part one of an arc, but really it's more of a prelude setting the arc up while establishing the X-Men's new setting.

Overall it's just boring.

I've been following Brubaker's run since his first issue with #475. I really enjoyed it up until the last part of the Shiar story when it all completely fell apart. Either editorial is meddling massively, or Brubaker can't get a handle on this franchise, but it's safe to say that since I'm already dropping this title I know I'm not gonna miss a thing. Shiar? Fell flat. The Extremists? Sucked. Messiah Complex was okay, but the whole Divided We Fall thing was a sham and this issue reads like ass. It's not fun, it's formulaic and on top of that inexplicable. So, when Cyclops said the X-Men are no more, he was...just...talking out of his ass? The whole move to San Fransisco was baffling enough, but with this issue they really go out of their way to make it seem contrived. Look, Astonishing X-Men #25? Great introduction to their new setting. We don't need a double sized issue filled with Greg Land's porn face tracing (more on that in a second) to know what's going on. Well, actually, it would have been nice to know why Cyclops suddenly changes his mind on the whole disbanding thing, but Brubaker lost his chance to do that in the last arc. And since this is a team book, can we at least establish the team? Is the cat-girl from the Starjammers still there? Characters are just thrown in at random is seems. Well, Cyclops, Emma Frost and Wolverine are a sure thing. Beast, yeah, okay. Colossus and Nightcrawler, alright. Storm? Um...oh, Cannonball! He literally just came out of nowhere. The fight scene that was, I suppose, supposed to introduce the new team (which is apparently the same team as in Astonishing with one difference) was a complete waste. Not an ounce of excitement. This isn't the artists' fault, this is the fact that I couldn't bring myself to care. The whole issue was about going through the motions. Magneto was cool, granted. Him and the High Evolutionary? Alright, cool. But his dialogue? Ugh! Why does he keep calling Cyclops "boy?" Magneto speaks haughtily, and this dialogue really threw me. He almost seemed out of character.

As for the art, we had Greg Land and Terry Dodson. I like Terry Dodson well enough. His art is fantastic, but his style doesn't fit this book. And to put him with Greg fucking Land? What, did editorial just pick two names out of a hat? Dodson is a capable, talented artist who I respect. Greg Land traces. Badly. And to top it off he traces from porn. All his women look ridiculous. His characters hardly make eye contact. Ninety percent of the expressions he uses are completely inappropriate to what's going on on the page (cause I think he can do, like...two). Seriously, when Emma Frost reacts to the news of the art exhibit, I can't tell if it's murderous rage or anal entry. Dude, Google "indignant" and trace that. I would stay away from this title just for the art alone.

If you're still interested in picking this title up, you can feel safe passing.

Justice Society of America Annual #1 review

2008-07-31T01:33:00.002-05:00

Earth 2

Following up on the events of the last regular issue of Justice Society, Power Girl lands in Earth 2 Gotham City...right on top of the Huntress, who is shocked at Power Girl's return. A small reminder, remember, Power Girl was originally introduced as the Supergirl of Earth 2, Kara Zor-L, the cousin of Earth 2's Superman, Kal-L. Then Crisis...muddled origin...Infinite Crisis...that didn't help...52...fuck. Okay, Huntress contacts her ex-teammates in the Justice Society Infinity who haul Power Girl's unconscious butt to their Dr. Midnite. While she's being examined, Robin and Huntress are talking. It seems Earth 2 Batman is dead as well as Alfred. Huntress's fiance, Gotham Dictrict Attorney Harry Sims, is also in the hospital after a brutal acid attack by the Joker in an attempt to recreate Two-Face. Once Power Girl comes to, she freaks out, smashes through Dr. Midnite's lab and encounters a group meeting of the JSI. After calming down and getting re-acquainted with everyone, Power Girl realizes that she has no memories of anyone in the room, even though her memories of Earth 2 are seemingly restored during Infinite Crisis. We're then treated to a scene between Dr. Fate and The Spectre talking about the fate and safety of Earth 2.

Power Girl and Huntress then go out to seek some revenge against the Joker, who is now crippled and dying after so many yuears of handling toxins. Huntress lunges at the Joker who is prepared with a "gag" shock ring around his finger. However, Power Girl, being invulnerable, steps in and grabs his hand holding onto it until the Joker is killed by his own device. After this, Power Girl and Huntress have a heart to heart, talking about her fiance and the Joker, and her relationship with the JSI and Dick Grayson ("I...I love dick!" Do tell...) when who shows up but...fucking POWER GIRL?!?!?!?! This other Power Girl (Karen Starr) goes on the attack and smacks down our Power Girl (Kara Zor-L). She proves she's the real deal to Huntress when she shares a memory that only the two of them would know and they both start laying into Kara. Kara escapes, but Huntress and Karen go to mobilize the JSI where she reveals that she's been gone searching for her cousin, Kal-L, and doesn't believe that Kara told them the truth when she had said Kal died at the end of Infinite Crisis. The issue ends with the JSI mobilized against a now fugitive Power Girl.

Okay, so how was it?

S'alright. Yeah, just okay. It's an important issue in a lot of ways, in fact I remember the original solicitation in Previews labeling this a "Sightings" issue which is weirdly absent on this book, but there's just a lot of character stuff that, by and large, I wasn't really getting in to. Geoff Johns, don't get me wrong, did a solid enough job with this issue. The character stuff is interesting enough I suppose. But he does set the stage for future stories in the JSA involving Power Girl. He lays some groundwork on his post-Infinite Crisis DCU but then at the same time makes me really hate the whole stupid event and DC in general. So is Kara Zor-L the Power Girl of Earth 2 or not? Is this other Power Girl an imposter? From reading the book, I don't think so and Johns makes that pretty clear. If Kara isn't the Power Girl of Earth 2, then just where the hell is she from? Just what exactly is the nature of the DC multiverse now since the end of Infinite Crisis? Was Kara Zor-L recreated in Earth 2 when the multiverse was recreated giving us sort of clones, two characters with nearly the exact same histories? If that's the case, was Kal-L recreated as well?

When I was a kid, part of the appeal of reading comics was knowing there was all this character history that I hadn't read making the books seem so much more epic. In a way, I get some of that feeling back reading this issue. There's a lot of character history that is there that I've never read. When I picked up my first DC books, the DCU had been a single, integrated universe for several years. Sometimes being left scratching your head in some regards can be a good thing. However, what annoys me is that even though Infinite Crisis undid some of the original Crisis on Infinite Earths, it annoys me that DC is still just arbitrarily cherry picking the parts of the Silver Age DCU that they want and tossing the rest. Basically, the DCU is just as confusing as ever.

The strongest point of this issue, really, is the art. Jerry fucking Ordway, man. The lay outs are well done and the action flows smoothly. He does what no one has been able to do in years and manages to make Power Girl look respectable instead of being the sloppy lewd whore everyone always presents her as. Seriously, Power Girl is always so top heavy it's a joke. It's all about the tits. Tits and ass, but with all the grace of a female body builder anguished over seeing her favorite puppy get run over. Ordway makes her a more serious hero again, thank God. I also love the expressiveness of the Huntress. Since she has that mask on it's all eyes and he really uses it to great affect. The character drama might be so so, but Ordway really does a helluva job selling it. Tight old school stuff.

Overall, I'd say the issue is mostly filler but with there are hints of major thing occuring. It's important...ish. I really thought it would be more important then it was. If you're a fan of JSA, I suppose you can pick it up and enjoy it as there is actually plenty about the issue to like. If you're wanting to save $4 bucks...yeah, I think you're relatively safe in skipping it.

Robin #175 review

2008-07-31T00:44:00.003-05:00

Shattered Pieces (RIP tie-in)

Robin has Bruce's "Black Casebook" which is a record of his early days, the contents of which are weighing heavily on him while he looks back to their past experiences in their year off after the events of Infinite Crisis. Stephanie Brown, The Spoiler, shows up while Tim is scanning the pages of the diary. He intends to share the information in the book, redacted in places of course, to try to corroborate the contents. Tim fears Batman has lost his mind due to a possible post hypnotic suggestion planted in his mind during a ten day period spent in isolation (covered in an earlier issue of Batman). He goes and sees a Seargent Harper at GCPD to give her the scanner. After running around, beating down some thugs, he goes to The Penguin to strike a deal for a large sum of money. Find Batman by dawn. Naturally, the Penguin is up for it. Joining back up with Spoiler again, Robin declares that if Batman isn't "right in the head" that he's going to take him down.

I haven't been a regular reader of Robin in a long long time. The last issues I picked up, in fact, were during the whole Resurrection of Ra's Al-Guhl debacle. I recall the Robin and Nightwing issues beig the strongest parts of that whole weak-kneed little crossover. This issue, written by Fabian Nicieza is...okay. I mean, it's pretty much a restatement of what's been going on over in Batman for the most part and nothing really happens. It comes across as shiftless and without focus for most of the issue. The closer we get to the end, however, it really seems to find a direction. Robin? Taking down Batman? Holy shit! Course, it's not gonna happen. Flipping through the new Previews today, I got pretty spoiled to the ending of RIP. This does, however, lend credence to the notion that Tim Drake will take up the mantle of Batman.

What I really dug this issue was all the flashback stuff to the year off. Batman in a cave for 49 days in Nanda Parbat, Tim and Dick take off and do some nuanced crime-fighting/007 high roller type shit. That was really cool. Getting a chance to see Dick in a swank environment, hot wiminz all around him, lapping it all up, Tim vaguely embarassed.....tight stuff. I love the relationship between these two characters. Maybe it's a lame idea, but cancel both Nightwing and Robin and reboot them under a single title, Nightwing & Robin (or Robin & Nightwing to maintain the notion that Robin is Batman's sidekick and not Nightwing's). Maybe it's just a stupid and fleeting thought, but I think it would have potential. Nightwing is supposed to be the natural heir to Batman anyway, and I don't see that Tim Drake ever really learns anything from the Bat to begin with. Tim and Dick, however, have a really interesting personal relationship that has great potential for exploration. Call me crazy, but I like this idea.

What really really bugs me...fucking bothers me...is the relationship between RObin and Spoiler. I remember back when they had this heavy romantic relationship going on that really drove the title. Now, with Spoiler's...resurrection...it's this strained, childish, stupid.....thing. I don't know if they know where to go with these two now. It's just a lot of sniping back and forth, nothing interesting or worth reading. There was that moment at the end, however, with Robin confiding his grand plan, but they need to kill this angst bullshit before it ruins their relationship.

Overall...well, it's been a week. Anyone still wondering whether or not to pick this up can skip it. It's not bad, but it really lends nothing that you probably haven't read online already.

New Comics Wednesday

2008-07-31T00:33:00.004-05:00

Green Lantern #33

Green Lantern Corps #26

Justice League of America #23

Justice Society of America Annual #1

Robin #175

Thor #10

Uncanny X-Men #500

X-Men: Legacy #214

Alright, it's been too long and time to get some reviews in. Andy got last week's as well as this week's shipment in today so that's two weeks of books. Three reviews tonight, probably another three Thursday and the remaining books Friday.

It occurs to me...

2008-07-30T00:50:00.002-05:00

I"ll never be a world famous photographer.

Seriously, it's harder then it looks. My sister emailed me the pics I took and, in hindsight.....I really suck. Wow.

So, these are, sadly, the best of the bunch and all taken during the storm.

These two are some street flooding. It got higher then this.

This tree was destroyed pretty much.

Kaiser...taking a piss.

Shingles getting blown off the roof.

Shoulda waited until the next day. Soooooooo many missed opportunities!

Downed fences, busted up signs, destroyed car ports.....The Jerk I aint.

Poor neglected blog

2008-07-29T00:48:00.003-05:00

Well, the hurricane was fun. I got a few pictures, pretty much of the house and street during the storm. Told my sister to email them to me so I could post them up. My sister only had so much room in her memory card and my brother said he would e-mail me the ones he took (won't hold my breath on that one though).

Lucked out in a lot of ways. I had said I was going to board up the windows. Didn't. Derrrrrr!!!!!!!!! Who knew it was gonna hit us like it did? I think I was like the only one (well, except my brother but he didn't want to go out and do it) and, well, it didn't get done. Thankfully no windows were broken, but that was just dumb luck cause we had wind going 100 miles an hour at one point. The damage was, in the end, a broken fence, broken trees and we lost some shingles on the roof (though the front door jams a little now and the garage doors could use some work or at least a some repainting). We rent, so the landlords are taking care of everything. Hopefully repairs will go fast. Had a guy stop by tonight to look at the roof to make sure it was just shingles that flew off and no roof damage (even if it was it's only a couple of years old and should be under warranty anyway). The fence will be another problem, cause that's something for their insurance to take care of I suppose. It's down in two places and part of a tree collapsed on another meaning that will need to be replaced. I don't know how long that will take. The one major problem is, the Presbyterian Church we rent from, their building was damaged. Car port on the roof (lot of car ports destroyed for that matter), roof damage...could be a lot worse, but still not a pretty sight.

The luckiest thing is that we did not once lose power. Well, it got spotty at a couple of points, but we never went more then...30 seconds? People across the street are still without power. Most of Harlingen lost power and we were one of the lucky few. I'm very grateful for this. Work had no power and only partial power with no AC the next night, but as long as the house has electricity I'm happy. No cable, in fact it's sitting around the part of my fence that's still standing, but we got POWER!

Speaking of work, it was very boring Wednesday night. Very. I took a three hour nap on the couch. No lights, no one to help...just sat and did jack shit though I did let a woman from a Houston news station crash on a couple of sofa chairs in the lobby. Where the hell else was she gonna go, right? After napping until about, oh, 2:30, I noticed the winds had pretty much passed. Cool. The next night was more interesting. Had half power, the check-in system was down, but the computers were on. Also there was no AC, so I was sweltering. Threw some root beers in the freezer, which was getting power, got an oscillating fan delivered from the house (thanks, Mom!) and sat there trying to keep cool. And trying to keep my cool. Got into a couple of arguments with some guys who had made reservations that day but with a downed system there was no way we could know and we were sold out (though my idiot boss could have called corporate to keep new reservations from being taken). Got full power back Friday night (and phones came back online Saturday night) and have been very busy since. AEP, the electric people, have been buying up rooms everywhere to keep there people in. Trying to keep crews together and not kick anyone out has kept me on my toes.

Mosquitoes are turning into a major problem. The eggs layed from the rains we got a few weeks back have all grown up into giant mutant monsters. Can't walk the dog or have a smoke without coming back in as a single giant itch. Impossible. Put on some Off and did the backyard this morning. Hopefully the few places to take cover in the better, but my street is totally lined with piles of dead wood (speaking of which, I'm this close to a name for this blog). ARGH!

Andy, my comics dealer of about a million years running now, finally got power back to his shop Sunday night. Sweet! Also got power back to his house Saturday night. Most excellent. Unfortunately, UPS is backlogged and his shipment is severely delayed. I was talking with him this morning and he was telling me that he could very well get his books for this Wednesday before he gets the shipment for last Wednesday. Crazy. If they don't come in tomorrow I'm probably just gonna do some quickie reviews, but then this upcoming shipment won't be big for me at all.

Speaking of comics, I did get my recent order from Buy.com and Amazon in the mail Monday. Yay! Both at once!

Absolute Batman: Hush

Superman: Last Son

Ultimate Spider-Man volume four

Ultimate Spider-Man volume five

Ultimate Spider-Man volume six

Whiteout

Good haul. Okay, would have been better by a tad. Ultimate Spider-Man volume six? Was actually a volume six dust jacket wrapped around volume four. DOH! Not Buy's fault, but I still have to return it for an exchange. Free shipping through UPS Ground at least which is really cool.

I had never read Whiteout when the series came out. I really really should have. I didn't read it until Free Comic Book Day this past May and I snagged issue #1. Wow! So I finally got the TPB and it looks cool. Gonna start reading it tonight.

Last Son is a great story. Have most of the single issues except for part two. And Absolute Hush? YEAH! Jim Lee's art is amazing. And of course, continuing with the Ultimate Spider-Man hardcovers. My shelf is getting crowded.

I think that about covers the past week. Comic book reviews will be forthcoming, soon as I get something to review.

Hurricane Dolly

2008-07-23T06:10:00.000-05:00

What a pain in the ass.

First, this is probably gonna delay the posting of the new Wednesday haul and subsequent reviews. Secondly, this hurricane doesn't seem too sure where it wants to land. Hit us directly or don't, you fucking bitch!

I'm not worried, but the situation has changed enough that I'm at least going to have to board up the windows. In the rain. Also, I should try to move Mom's car into the garage to keep it safe. Last thing we need is a damaged car.

I believe Dolly will make landfall in around noon. I'll be asleep so no hurricane blogging. Although, since my sister is here with her nice little digital camera.....YEAH! Maybe some aftermath pics!

Sweet!

[Update]

Wind is finally picking up. Some of them bands around the eye are finally whipping their way through. Not a lot of rain yet, but I hear Brownsville is getting drenched. Definitely gonna start boarding the windows.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-22T00:57:00.000-05:00

Heh, I was gonna do a review but what can be said that hasn't been said a thousand times better on Ain't It Cool?

This was a tight, well paced, excellently acted hardboiled crime drama. Crime drama, not super-hero action movie. This movie is completely unlike the the Burton/Schumacher Batman movies, Spider-Man, X-Men, Superman, Iron Man, The Hulk movies.....hell, it's unlike Batman Begins. I've made the observation elsewhere in e-mail, but what this movie does for the notion of super-hero movies is like what Frank Miller did for comics when he wrote The Dark Knight Returns. It elevates.

I'm gonna try to see it again Saturday or Sunday. Fucking brilliant.

I'm still decompressing...

2008-07-19T06:49:00.001-05:00

...After watching The Dark Knight.

Wow.

Wow!

It's all I've been able to think of all night.

I'll give my review tonight when my head clears.

Caught the 6:20 PM showing. Bought tickets for the 7:40 showing, but that's cause I thought my friends were gonna see that showing. They changed their minds, the bastards. Should have known. Got there two hours early, called, found out, decided I wasn't gonna wait around for that long, crossed the lobby and walked in to the 6:20 showing. Got a less than ideal seat, but it beat having to wait two hours and then rush to work after the show.

The audience was pretty well behaved. Sound sucked, unfortunately. There were a couple of kids that were immensely bored and the sound was low enough that they could keep you from catching what a character said here and there and confuse the shit outta me. The adults, however, were rapt. RAPT!

The movie finally let out at 9:00 PM. I so soooooooooooo wish I could have caught those midnight showing with all the other fans. That's the kinda show you need to catch. Apparently, the theater was only gonna screen on two, but found themselves opening six more for a total of eight screens. Unbelievable! I heard of some technical problems as well, with delayed starts, but hey, I woulda gladly sat through that!

I'm gonna stop by the store today and conversate about this awesome film. I need to decompress with other fanboys before I can really collect my thoughts.

Excellent movie.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-18T06:22:00.001-05:00

Got my ticket!

I'm seeing the 7:40 showing. I told Andy and them to call me at work after seeing the movie but they didn't. Bastards!

Well, they had said they wanted to see it again, and I told them 7:40 was the latest I could make it, but I'm going with or without them.

Coming out of WALL*E last night, the line was already forming for the midnight showing. Saw some guys dressed as the Joke and henchmen. Cool shit.

I'll be splitting for the theater as soon as I wake up. Don't wanna get a shitty seat.

Very excited.

The Incredible Hercules #119 review

2008-07-18T05:52:00.001-05:00

Contact (Sacred Invasion part three)'

We start the issue with the Skrull queen quoting a prophecy from the Skrull Book of Worlds stating that our heroes will be "undone by the least among them." From there we flash back to a scene taking place right after World War Hulk with Hercules surrounded by soldiers and Amadeus Cho being escorted away. BUT! Cho is gassed and presented to a Skrull masquerading as a SHIELD agent. This is where we find out that the Skrull agent has replaced Pup with.....himself! Back to our intrepid crew, they are now in the Skrull Dreamtime, the world where the remains of fallen deities of alien cultures remain. While Skrull Pup is alone, he morphs into Amadeus, distracting Atum away from the wheel of the ship long enough to take control and smashing it into the Dreamtime. Regrouping after Snowbird retrieves the map of the Dreamtime, Atum graps Pup and rips him apart, revealing him to be a Skrull. This causes chaos in the ranks as Hercules attacks Atum accusing him of being a potential Skrull (but hard to argue since most of the gruop is composed of shapeshifters). After calming down, the group is then attacked by a swarm of alien gods. After much back and forth in battle, they seem to gain the upper hand until they are caught in the mouth of some giant bastard alien god. At this point, Snowbird sacrifices herself as she transforms into a great beast called Neooqtoq, the Ravager. She bids everyone to escape, as her transformation will kill everything around her, including them. Her transformation succeeds, but floats off into the endless void of space. Though she had the map of the Dreamtime, the issue ends with the group coming face to face with a Skrull deity.

It's been pretty obvious that I'm a huge fan of this series, and I really look forward to each issue that comes out, but this is first issue that I've really been disappointed in. This issue, everything feels forced and contrived. Pak and Van Lente are trying to hit all the right story beats, but with this issue it feels.....not cynical, but it's like they're doing it...just cause. For instance, every issue has a scene of Herc flashing back to his younger days and this issue it has no place, serves no purpose. When all that was introduced, it helped drive the story forward and this issue they did it cause I guess they felt they had to.

Also, I suppose cause it's only a four part story, the big sacrifice of Snowbird? Just...nothing. It does nothing. There was the last issue where they slept together that I suppose was meant to give Herc some grounding in his mission, some sort of attachment and create this big emotional thing when she disappears, but...nothing. Nothing. Totally pointless. I will say, the highlight of the issue was the post coital banter between the two. That was cute. The big reveal and death of Skrull Pup.....again, nothing.

I wish I could say something nice about the art, but the action comes across as a cluttered mess during the big action sequence.

I don't know. This issue was a real let down. I can't see this arc finishing well either. I mean, there's still the thing about Amadeus Cho and him doing some great big thing, so I still got something to look forward to next issue. But as I think about it, I think the strength of this book lies in having a small cast. With this story, The Incredible Hercules takes on the tone of a team book. Very much not a team book. Too many characters, not enough time to concetrate on a single one. Once this story ends, it needs to go back to Herc and Cho (and bring back Pup!).

X-Force #5 review

2008-07-18T02:40:00.004-05:00

Picking up where last issue left off, Warren Worthington III is once again ARCHANGEL with them big giant bad ass metal wings. Cool shit, man. So he goes flipping out andtears out of his mansion looking for revenge. However, the pain caused by his new wings has clouded his mind and he's basically lashing out right now. We swing on over to Matthew Risman, planning an assault on Bastion. Risman has had some serious problems with Bastions plans and now intends on shutting him down with his brand new army of his own archangels called the Choir. But it's not only Risman wanting to go to war, Bastion himself is using William Stryker to lead the Purifiers in an assault against Risman. In the meantime, Reverend Craig is sent to finally finish off Wolfsbane. He shoots her in the thigh, but it partly deflects off her shackles, breaking them and allowing her to escape her cell. While X-Force follows a mad Archangel, who is trailing the Purifiers, the Choir draws first blood and begins the assault on the Purifiers. What proceeds is a massive battle between the two groups and a great two page spread with lots of gore. The issue ends with Risman and Bastion face to face.

This issue, when I read it initially, confused me. The story between Risman and Bastion has been so underplayed in the previous issues that I didn't actually realize it was going on. So when this issue came along, I was left scratching my head wondering if I missed something. Well, it was there...kinda. But the whole thing was just sort of backburner material. The gist of the stuff with the Purifiers involved bringing back a bunch of major X-Men baddies like Bastion and Magus and Donald Pierce. But looking back, it was there. So re-reading it with a clearer view, I gotta say that issue itself is pretty decent. X-Force basically take a backseat this issue so they can concentrate on the Purifier stuff. Rahne is finally back in her right mind, free of heroin and the Purifiers mind control. Basically everything is starting to come to a head with this issue and I'm anxious to see what happens.

On the other hand, so much was done with this story line that there is no wayu they can resolve any of it in the next issue. Magus? Pierce? all those guys from issue #3 they brough back? They haven't really been seen since. Unless that was all set up for a future arc, I guess that's fine, but they made a really big deal out of it during the build up of the story. I'm guessing Kyle and Yost have big things in mind for this series, but they should have played that stuff in a more subtle fashion while playing up the inner conflicts of the Purifiers.

Clayton Crain blows me away again this issue. That two page spread is just cool shit. Seeing a bunch of guys getting decapitated like that, I think that's the most graphic thing I've yet to see in a mainstream Marvel comic.

I'd recommend this book for the art alone, but the story really faltered this issue in some ways. The stuff with X-Force has followed through for the most part, but the Purifier's story just leaped forward too rapidly with not enough development and ignoring the stuff already established ealier in the series. Given the premise of the series I expect lots of violence and bloodletting in the next issue. What happens after that, however, will be a mystery to me since #6 will be my last issue.

X-Factor #33 review

2008-07-18T02:34:00.002-05:00

The Darwin Awards (Secret Invasion tie-in)

To be sure, this is my last issue of the series I'll be picking up, so this review will be relatively light.

So it starts off with Longshot and Darwin (who I lost track of after the Shiar storyline in Uncanny X-Men last year) checking out Detroit. Longshot is being a total dick, just ragging on everything and everyone he sees. Some thugs overhear them and, naturally, take umbrage with Longshot's shit talking and start a fight. But instead of laying into Longshot, they go after Darwin. Darwin, whose power is to adapt, grows gills when being drowned, becomes stretchy when stabbed...nothing they do works. While this is going on we cut to Madrox and X-Factor Investigations talking with an old man in search of his son, who is a mutant. And, hey, what do ya know, it's Darwin's dad. And while they're talking, Valerie Cooper ad the O*N*E are listening in and keeping an eye on them. Pulling up files on the client, Hector Muñoz (No shit! Hey, alright, I'm digging it), Val pulls up some of his criminal history which involves some DWI stuff, ditching his wife and kid, etc etc. Anyway, so daddy-o is trying to rebuild his life and wants to find his son to make amends. Cool, cool.But back to Longshot and Darwin, Darwin takes off running one way and Longshot the other. Meanwhile, a mysterious woman is watching the whole thing and follows Longshot into a backalley where she seems that he's...a Skrull! Okay, no real surprise. Longshot was saying earlier that his powers weren't working which is bullshit cause he's not a mutant. Anywho, so "Skrullshot" is revealed and mystery girl keeps a close watch. Back to X-Factor, Madrox sends out a bunch of dupes to start the search for Darwin. Valerie Cooper decides that she has an assignment for Madrox and gets pissedoff that he's wasting his time in some simple manhunt. She bitches him out and gives him 24 hours to complete his job. Back to Darwin, him and Longshot meet back up discussing their reason for working together. Apparently, Darwin is on a search for Professor Xavier and Skrullshot said he would help him. Darwin is pissed that they're getting nowhere and Skrullshot is telling him to calm down and trust him when Darwin notices the girl who's been spying on them. Longshot sees her, and freaks out. Apparently he recognizes her. He runs, and she chases after while communicating this information to an associate. Before too long the whoe thing becomes a firefight. Darwin tries coming to the defense of Skrullshot, but the woman puts a gun to his head. Monet then comes out of nowhere putting her to the ground. While she's trying to pin her down, who else but She-Hulk comes tearing through thus ending the issue, to be continued in She-Hulk #31.

It's a three part story crossing over with She-Hulk. Like I said, I'm dropping the title, and really I have no intentions of picking up She-Hulk or the final part of the story in the next issue of X-Factor.

But what did I think of it?

It was...so so.

The stuff with Darwin and Skrull Longshot was pretty funny. I figure Peter David wants to make Darwin a regular fixture in this series, which is cool. Honestly, the whole issue should have just been Darwin and Longshot. Screw the Secret Invasion angle, just Darwin and Longshot. The issue could have ended with Darwin running into X-Factor in...well, whatever way David could think up. It would have been a fantastic way of introducing the kind of environment X-Factor find themselves working in (hell, we haven't all been to Detroit now, have we?).

But that it's both a Secret Invasion tie-in and a She-Hulk crossover, well it kinda spoils the issue for me. Over in Captain Britain, we have massive fighting. Over in Incredible Hercules, we have a big mission. Over in Secret Invasion...well, you know. But here, in this corner of the Marvel Universe, we have...one lone Skrull fucking with the locals? Some invasion. I mean, if the Skrull invasion is all about them fucking with fat ghetto trash, why not just let them? But I digress. The She-Hulk cross-over stuff...okay, I figure this mystery woman is a character in that book. However, I wouldn't know since I don't read it. Some kind of background would have been nice, but David takes the approach that you already know her. When in one scene she changes into a rat, I though, hey look, a fucking Skrull! Nope, not at all.

As for the art...it's by Larry Stroman. It sucks. The faces on everyone sucks. It's pretty terrible overall. That's all that really should be said.

There is a lot of humor in this issue that was okay, but I can't help get the impression that Larry David was watching Keith Olbermann while writing this issue so for whatever reason it's all very left-wing. Guido voted for Nader in 2000, which I thought was great. I mean, of course he would! The tension between Madrox and Cooper is pretty thick. She has him by the balls, but at least it has given him some focus.

But overall, I thought there were just a few too many missteps in this issue. David tries, but for me this wasn't a strong issue. It could have been worse, I mean it has its saving graces, but it's a completely mixed bag. I would recommend just skipping out on this issue. It seems heavy with editorial mandate and try a Peter David might, it really couldn't be saved.

So much for the review, now if you don't mind me I'm gonna go off on a slight tangent...

Now, there were two things that greatly, greatly annoyed the fucking shit out of me while reading this issue. While looking at a photo of Darwin, someone (I think Rictor, but I can't tell cause the art sucks) is amazed that Darwin (who's hispanic) has such light skin. Cause every Mexican is automaticaly shit brown.

Say hi to the President of Mexico, Felipe Calderón.

Hi Mr. President!

zOGM!11!11!! His skin is so light! LLO!1!11!!!

Celebrate diversity, support racial and ethnic purity today. Stop miscegenation now!

Sorry, that shit just sticks in my craw.

The other thing is...well, Darwin's name, I am learning, is Muñoz, which is cool. And it's not spelled right once the entire issue (whcih they use, seemingly no less then, 50,000 times). Okay, quick Spanish lesson. N and Ñ are two seperate letters in the Spanish alphabet. N is said like "ene" and Ñ is said like "enye" (if that example sucks, think of the singer Enya but with a short e sound at the end instead of the a). Spelling is "Munoz" makes it sounds like "muh-noz." But no one ever says it right, which I'm used to (though, for the record, the way to say it, at least without trying to affect an accent, is...well, it's in the URL...moonyose). But they could makea freaking attempt at getting it right. Bastards.

Captain America #40 review

2008-07-17T03:59:00.002-05:00

The Man Who Bought America part four

Picking up after last issue, its Captain America versus Captain America as the two do a pretty decent job of kicking each other's ass. Zemo, Faustus and Arnim Zola watch the big show from the comforts of their hideout. Bucky quickly finds out that the Grand Captain is much, much stronger then him or Steve Rogers and realizes that he won't win in a direct, or even fair, fight. After a clever usage of his shield and a lucky right cross, he puts the Grand Captain on the ground long enough to unmask him. After this, Bucky quickly starts to understand what is motivating this particular Captain (he doesn't realize who he is and thinks he murdered Bucky back when). So Captain Bucky pulls off his own mask to reveal the truth, causing much confusion for the Grand Captain. However, after a recall order is given by the Red Skull, the Grand Captain flips out again and throws Bucky off the top of a skyscraper. The Falcon, however, shows up just in time to keep Bucky from splattering on the ground, while the Grand Captain beats a retreat. Bucky wants to get back in the fight, but the Falcon disagrees, saying it would be better to let himgo as he has his bird trailing him back to the Skull's hideout.

Sharon Carter continues her escape from Faustus's lab with Sin at knifepoint. Two seconds away from doing so, Sin breaks free and they start into each other. Their fight turns deadly as they're both intent on killing each other. Unfortunately, Sin gains control of the knife and plunges it right into Sharon's midsection, leaving her near death and the fate of her unborn child up in the air.

The action this issue was pretty good. Steve Epting is back this month and, thankfully, draws Bucky as capable of more then roundhouse kicks. Every time Bucky gets thrown into a wall, it really looks like it hurts.

For the story...maybe cause it's a pretty straightforward action issue, maybe it's cause I'm so blasted tired and cold, but this issue wasn't quite up to the standards of the last couple. The end is coming up quickly and Brubaker is really needing to wrap things up, so things are getting rushed forward in a big way but with so many loose ends needing tying up I'm left wondering if Brubaker will be able to do so satisfactorily. There was lots of stuff I enjoyed, Sharon getting stabbed right in the uterus being the big one. That was a shocker! Bucky as well, even though he seems to be taking in his new role pretty well, is easily shaken by seeing a man with the face of his mentor. It's his first real test, after all, since he's bene mostly fighting goons. This is the encounter that should test his resolve. Shaken, but he still manages to regain control.

I think maybe that's what bothered me about this issue. He was shaken, yes, but even though his confidence is shaken, his resolve wasn't. This fight should have been harder for him. I mean, seeing the Grand Captain's face really should have caused more of an internal struggle. At then end, he comments to the Falcon that he deserves the Grand Captain's hate. That's it? Dude, you were basically fighting a dead man in his uniform, using his name and his shield and that's the only thing going through your mind? Do you take for granted that the mantle of Captain America was passed on to you? Brubaker needs to address this issue. How does Bucky resolve this knowing that there were other, arguably worthier men to take up the role.

The issue was decent. Good action, story proceeds at a quickened pace and I'm eager for the next issue. Since the Death of Captain America in #25, this series has had its hits and misses. The last few have been hits, but this issue does seem to me to miss the mark somewhat.

Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge #1 review

2008-07-17T02:37:00.002-05:00

So here we are, with Captain Cold, Mirror Master, Weather Wizard and Heat Wave returning to Keystone City for the first time after killing the third Flash, Bart Allen they quickly move to reclaim their lair from a gang run by the new Trickster. After a brief tussle, the Rogue's declare their intentions to retire. After that, an interlude with the Pied Piper invading a police station to acquire files on the Rogues which also includes a hidden file on the whereabouts of their family and friends. Interlude two takes uss briefly to Iris Allen reminiscing about Barry Allen. We jump over to Libra, who's preaching when he receives a message from the Rogues announcing their intentions to not join up with his Secret Society. His killing of the Martian Manhunter means he's gonna be in for a world of trouble which they want no part of. Then it's over to the Flash Museum, where we see Inertia, still in suspended animation, being taken into custody by the police. A bolt of lightning reanimates him where he proceeds to basically murder the shit out of the cops. When news of this breaks out, the Rogues opt for one last mission. REVENGE! In the final pages, we see Inertia again planning on killing the Flash and his family when Professor Zoom comes out of nowhere, puts him to the ground so he can tell him he's going to be the new Kid Flash.

This was an okay issue, it's all set up but I am intrigued to see where things go over the next two issues. We know that Mirror Master is working with Doctor Light and Libra, but Captain Cold is adamantly opposed to joining the Secret Society. How Libra plans on dealing with them while the Rogues go and plot revenge ought to be cool. The Pied Piper, who I'm glad to see again, had the only relatively consistent story throughout Countdown to Final Crisis. And then the whole thing with Inertia and Professor Zoom...interesting, interesting.

Not a lot actually happens this issue but it gives a really good feel for the intentions of the series. It seems that it's mostly going to be tying up the loose ends from the Bart Allen Flash series, putting a cap on the the Rogues (I imagine they'll mostly be dead at the end of the series) and setting up some new stuff for The Flash. Intertia as Kid Flash? Yeah, this'll go down well for Wally. I do like the portrayal of Inertia. Just a really fucked up, cold blooded killer. Actually, I had visions of Kid Miracleman when he was killing those cops.

I did have some quibbles. The relationship to Final Crisis seems to be rather slim. Sure, it's related to the Flash and Barry Allen is back. There is Libra, yeah, but until issue #2 comes out, I'm gonna be kinda scratching my head. There were also some serious continuity questions I have. Now I assume this takes place after the current Flash storyline, but wasn't the Flash Museum burned down? That was rebuilt fast. And Iris West...still breathing. And young. Well, not like I didn't know where that story was going, but this coinfirms it. Maybe even DC realizes The Flash sucks so bad right now that they don't care whether they spoil their own stories or not. Also, the way the Rogues describe the way they kill Bart Allen, seems kind of out of line with what happened. Coulda sworn they beat him to death. I'll have to look again.

All told...well, the issue stands well enough on its own. Whatever the relation to Final Crisis...time will tell on that one. I wouldn't recommend anyone go into this expecting something so tightly woven with that story, but this does work as a Flash spin-off mini. If you have that in mind, and you really love you some Flash, then it's worth picking up. Otherwise...you can save $4 bucks, read the summary on Wikipedia and wait until next issue.

The Flash #242 review

2008-07-17T00:39:00.002-05:00

Fast Money part five: A Day In The Life

Iris West keeps aging faster and faster. At issue's beginning she's about 30, at the middle she's 40, at the end she's...

At the beginning of the story, Wally and the Kids meet back with Linda who's shocked to see Iris aging so quickly. She wants to put together experiemnts to find a cure, but Wally is forced against his will (by a telepathic suggestion implanted by Grodd in the alst issue) to find a mystic chimp called Nzame. Nzame was brought with Grodd when he was teleported into Spin's lair. Nzame...oh, I'll get to this stupid chimp later. He's a mystic religious symbol worshipped by the apes in Gorilla City and Flash has to return him because...fucking...cause. After finding Nzame over the shriveled, dying body of the guy Spin was using to send out negative vibes, we get a flashback of everything this guy, Edwar Martinez, went through. Experimented on for greed because of his power to manipulate emotions. After this bit of backstory, Edwar's dying act is to reverse everything he'd been forced into doing by Spin by making people feel more compassionate towards each other. With Nzame in hand, Wally runs back to the family to find Iris has aged another ten years. Hoping to curry favor with the apes in Gorilla City, Flash takes the family to return Nzame and asks if he can use the little chimp's healing powers (yep) to maybe reverse Iris's rapid aging. Initially, the head ape says no, but with a wink and a nod tacitly approves Nzame's reabduction by the Flash as a sort of backdoor way of not violating their relgious beliefs. So he does, and in the middle of the jungle, with Iris holding Nzame, her rapid aging...thing...kicks in in and seemingly ages to her death. At the same time, Nzame becomes a giant ape (implied that the energy given off by Iris's aging zaps him causing the same) who is now out to kill the Flash.

Ugh. Where do I begin?

First, reading this issue I was left with the constant impression that I had missed on issue. Nope, didn't miss an issue. I was thinking to myself the entire time, who the fuck is this Nzame character? Reviewing the previous two issues, this stupid little chimp was only barely noticeably introduced in #240. His role in the story was nonexistant. He's there, he's mentioned, but the direction of the story had nothing to do with the stupid chimp at all. Same for the telepathic suggestion. A two page bit stuck in the beginning of #241 and then promptly forgotten while Flash is sent on to do other things. The fuck?

The direction this story...this series...well, it has no direction. This is the problem, the villain we're introduced to in the beginning is not the villain we're seeing at the end. Spin? Who the hell is that? So we go from satire about the media and yellow journalism with the underlying story being Wally's joblessness to a story about mystical monkey healers and the kids' aging problems.

Why am I gonna bother picking up the next issue, then? Aside from the fact that I must clearly hate myself, but I do want to see the ending of this travesty and I do want to see whether or not Iris stays dead. Of course she won't stay dead, but it would be cool.

Regrettably, what used to be one of my favorite DC titles back in the day is one of the best examples of wasted potential. Really, it makes me wish that DC hadn't killed Bart Allen. The CSI angle was really cool, and that had potential. They kicked Bart to the curb in order to tell a bunch of limp wristed stories about...what, exactly? Nothing interesting is happening in this title. The Flash is one of DC's A-list characters, serious shit should be going down and so far...nothing. I should write to DC...

Dear DC,

Kill the Flash's fucking kids. Please. It's the only way to be sure.

Thank you.

So much money down the shitter with this book.

Damn.

New Comics Wednesday

2008-07-17T00:09:00.003-05:00

Captain America #40

Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge #1

The Flash #242

The Incredible Hercules #119

X-Factor #33

X-Force #5

A pretty solid week.

First up to review will be the Flash, Rogue's Revenge and Captain America. I've already red X-Force, but I got confused on an important plot point so I'm going to hold off on that until tomorrow night so I can review the first four issues.

A couple of final issues for me this week as well. The Flash and X-Factor I'm dropping from my pull list. X-Factor this month is a Secret Invasion tie-in and...well, I'm not gonna be finishing the arc so my review of that will be relatively brief. I've been really hard on the Flash and, honestly, I'm gonna be hard again. It's the last issue I'm pulling regularly, but next month is the last issue of the current arc and, much as I dread it, want to at least finish the story. X-Force #6, when it's released, will also be my last issue of the series.

Unfortunately, I'm dropping most of my books. I'll just be following Final Crisis and related mini-series, Batman, Buffy, Captain America, Hellboy...I'll probably finish Secret Invasion. Until I find new work after leaving my present job, there's not gonna be a whole lot I'll be looking into.

Batman Begins

2008-07-16T00:38:00.003-05:00

Went to HEB today and picked up a copy of Batman Begins.

WOO!

Ya know, except for a five minute sequence on FX, I've never seen this until this morning. Figured if I was gonna go see The Dark Knight this weekend I should see the first one.

While I was there I picked up a bottle of cabernet.

So had a pretty good morning, watching Batman, drinking wine, ate the last bit of leftover pasta while I was at it. Great man, absolutely great.

Well, the wine wasn't all that, it was cheap stuff. Six dollar wine that's probably not much better than a bum wine. Didn't stop me from finishing the bottle.

Movie was really good, should have seen it a long time ago. I had some issues with it. The Waynes leaving the opera instead of a movie theater; Bruce Wayne being trained by Ra's Al Guhl; Chicago being substituted for Gotham City (say what you will about Schumacher, his Gotham City was crazy)...but my biggest complaint was too many villains. Carmine Falcone, Ra's Al Guhl AND Scarecrow. I wish they had just stuck with Carmine Falcone and a corrupt GCPD and just leave it a straight Year One story, otherwise it felt like two movies smashed together (the first half was pure fuckwin). Scarecrow came out for all of, what, ten minutes? Liam Neeson Ra's/Ducard was cool, though. Would have liked to see him and Wilkinson's Falcone together instead of tossing him to the wayside midway through.

But really, those are minor quibbles. Maybe it's just cause I was pretty sauced but by the end I was hootin and hawlerin. And given everything I've seen from The Dark Knight I am PUMPED. I'm glad they decided to start from square one with this character, cause it worked out wonderfully.

And the rest...

2008-07-15T01:12:00.002-05:00

The Palinode order came in along with the Amazon order. Sweet. Little worn 'round the edges, but I got the thing for like $13 bucks, so I can't complain.

The Seven Soldiers books look...interesting. For whatever reason, DC decided to collect the books in a bit of a random order. For instance, volume one starts off with Seven Soldiers #0, then issue one of one mini, then issue one if the next, then issue one of the next, followed by the first two issues of the next. So, for instance, The first two issues of Zatanna are in volume one, issue three is in volume two and issue four is in volume three. This ought to be an interesting read. Though I can tell you what, the art in Seven Soldiers #1 and #2 by JH Williams is phenomenal!

Now looking at the top shelf in my closet, I realize that I desperately need a proper shelf to put these thing on. It's getting seriously crowded.

Electronic hauling

2008-07-14T00:17:00.000-05:00

Aaaanndddd, here's what has come in the mail this past week.

Not too bad. I ordered the Ultimate Spider-Man hardcovers through the Amazon Marketplace. I actually ordered the first three volumes, but I'm still waiting on volume three. The sellers for volumes one and two, Michellebookseller and Mitzfish Media, both were very quick. the thid, Palinode Books, seem to be taking their time. They only give shipping confirmations on orders of $15 dollars or more, which kinda sucks. Presumably it's already been shipped.

I'm also expecting an order from Amazon proper Monday afternoon of Grant Morrison's Seven Soldiers of Victory series. I was reading a thread last night on Amazon asking opinions on the worst series people have ever read and, unfortunately, a few people answered this series. Huh. Looks like I'll find out this afternoon.

Until then, what I wanna do is go home, finish my back yard (that's another post for another day), watch Hellboy with a glass of wine and relax.

Speaking of Hellboy

2008-07-13T04:45:00.000-05:00

Stopped by Walmart to pick up an oil pan and what should have been a freakin $8 dollar trip turned into a $35 dollar trip that included getting a step ladder and a $9 dollar copy of the director's cut of the first Hellboy movie. OHh, and a Snickers cause the wrapper made it looked all communistic and I thought it was peculiar.

Nine freakin bucks!

Actually, I was trying to find Batman Begins which I've yet to see but all they had was fullscreen copies.

Guardians of the Galaxy #3 review

2008-07-13T04:16:00.002-05:00

Beyond Belief

Picking up where the last issue left off, the Guardians face off against a group from the Universale Church of Truth while attempting to look for survivors in a dyson sphere and shut down a fissure anomaly. They discover that the fissue was subatomic, fusing the inhabitants of the dyson sphere into a giant mass which proceeds to attack both groups. Back on Knowhere, Mantis and Major Victory are set upon by...Starhawk! Major Victory and Starhawk battle it out through Knowhere, the Guardians are still caught between this giant fissure monster and the Cardinals of the UCT. Warlock is gravely injured after Starlord is beaten down. Apparently, the Cardinals are there only to retrieve a blood sample from Warlock, which they do after putting a knife in his back. Back on Knowhere, Major Victory and Starhawk finish their fight after trashing the teleportation systems and Starhawk disappears. This is problematic, since the new plan the Guardians develop for destroying the fissure creature is to retract the dome of the colony inside the dyson sphere, fry the thing, and then teleport out before getting cooked themselves. Well, the creature is destroyed, but they get trapped. Ultimately, Gamora, having an enhanced healing factor, saves the group by rushing out to close the dome getting severely burned in the process. The issue ends with a slight mystery as the blood sample the UCT took confirmed that Warlock is Warlock leaving them to wonder who it is in the cocoon in their possession.

I can go on and on and on about how much I'm loving this title right now. Three issues in and three issues knocked right out of the park. The Starhawk thing kicked ass, Gamora saving the Guardians kicked ass, the powers displayed by the Cardinals of the UCT kicked ass...so yes, it kicks ass.

But there was one plot point that gets brushed over entirely showing, I think, the limits of the narrative. When Warlock is stabbed in the back, it's a brutal attack. Dude looks down for the count and you can't help think maybe this issue might have some surprise death. Unfortunately, it's gloseed over. Oh yeah, he's bleeding to death, but through the narrative device, these little mission debriefs, we're told that he's perfectly fine. And of course he is, we'd already seen him in one prior to the attack. That really deflates the suspense. I remember Pete LaPage on the Stack saying that was his problem with the series. While I still disagree, I think they're perfectly fine, but this was a perfect example of what Pete was trying to point out if Abnett and Lanning aren't careful this device could really undo the whole book.

Minor quibble aside, Abnett and Lanning really did a fantastic job of earning their salary. Paul Pelletier continues putting out greatly underappreciated artwork. Always gotta give love to the guys who go for smooth action and pacing. The flashy artists are too flash, the experimentalists and alternative artists are too iffy, but the guys who make it easy on the eyes are alright by me.

As a final aside, I wonder how hard it would be to convince Marvel to release a Mantis & Groot one-shot?

Pick it up!

Captain Britain and MI: 13 #3 review

2008-07-13T00:43:00.002-05:00

The Guns of Avalon part three

So where were we last issue? Right, the Skrulls have stolen magic while a strange voice is telling Pete Wisdom to do things. The British Army is gathering on Westminster Bridge (with Black Knight and Faiza) ready to fight. We jump over to Pete Wisdom who's pulled out of a fight by Spitfire while he considers caving in to the voices. Spitfire rushes back for Skrull John Lennon who fails to draw Excalibur. Back at Westminster, the Skrulls begin their push while Pete Wisdom finally caves and releases the voices from their prison. Holy shit, it's the Octessence! Cytorrak! Fuck yeah! Also Merlin. Merlin puts Wisdom to sleep and does some crazy magic shit beginning the resurrection of...well, you know. And just in time since the heroes and the Army were about getting their asses handed to them.

This is another tight and tense effort put out by Cornell and crew. The tension is super thick. If there's no fighting it's cause everyone is just about to fight and when they do they just throw themselves into it. Since this is Secret Invasion, what I'm also really enjoying is how much more dire the Skrull threat is than in the main Secret Invasion series. It's a given that the Skrulls are going to be beaten, but Bendis is using it as a way drive his agenda forward, clean up contuity, return a character here and there. Cornell keeps it much more straight forward. World's ending, let's not fuck up...WIN! Now I don't quite know the Skrulls main motivations, I'm not reading New or Mighty Avengers, but I love how Cornell (and Pak in Hercules) is...well, at least padding their motivations. In Hercules, it's the religious motivations, in Captain Britain it's the mystical motivations.

As for the characters, for me it's really coming down to Spitfire (very driven and a little impatient) and Faiza (very naive). I really wanna see how these two interact when they're put together.

Speaking of Faiza, something about her hit me in this issue, why her and Black Knight kinda stick out a little more then the rest. Dialogue wise, these two are completely different from everyone else. Cornell is writing a very anglo-centric comic. Very Hail To England type stuff. Which is great, I'm loving it. Everyone is very stoic, stiff upper lip types. Black Knight is American, so that's his excuse, but Faiza...I see a great deal of potential with the character, so seeing her grow out of this ditzy, starstruck phase will be nice (though I'm not saying it's not cute).

I really, really, really want to stick with this series as long as I can. Marvel, not the best publisher, but they have a few titles that really manage to suprise the hell out of me.

Mr. Cornell, Mr. Kirk...top notch work, guys, keep it up!

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (quick and dirty review)

2008-07-12T05:47:00.004-05:00

So, like everyone else, I went and saw Hellboy II: The Golden Army tonight and the gist of my opinion is...better then the first, solid film, but not great.

The overall story is good, but it starts with so many plot threads that unfortunately the movie lacks focus. A lot of stuff to cover. The relationship between Hellboy and Liz, Hellboy's desire to be noticed by the world, Hellboy's regret at being noticed by the world, Abe Sapian falling in love with the elf princess Nuala, the relationship between Princess Nuala and Prince Nuada, Johann taking over the BPRD, etc etc etc...

Once the main story really kicks in, it steams along at a nice clip. The action is well done. The fight with the Golden Army is pretty cool to look at. Lots of stuff happening but not so much that you lose focus of what's happening (unlike, say, Transformers).

The characters...oh, let me say, I'm glad Abe Sapien makes it through the whole movie. In the first one he disappears halfway through with no explanation. This one he's a pivotal player. Alas, David Hyde Pierce does not reprise the voice. *Tear* But speaking of voices, Seth McFarlane as Johann is probably the stand out character of this movie. A wonderful job. McFarlane's Family Guy and American Dad might suck ass, but his skills as a voice actor are impressive. Johann...if there's a third Hellboy (please please please, people, support this movie so we can get the final part!) they really need to highlight this character a little more. He's a funny and intriguing character that, unfortunately, doesn't get enough time. Ron Perlman, of course, is Hellboy. He really brings the character to life. Now, my one complaint, and this is something I forgot as I haven't seen the first movie since it was released in theaters, is this Hellboy is so immature! At least with Selma Blair. Their relationship is.....it needed a little work. That's all I can say. That was one thread that, honestly, could have been jettisoned to tighten up the film. That or the whole part about Hellboy's need for public attention. Regardless, the characters are all well done and the actors are convincing in their roles. In short, they're all likeable. Also, Selma Blair is hot. Oh, and Anna Walton as Princess Nuala. I'd totally do her.

But none of that is important compared to the visuals. Yes! The reason to see this is Del Toro's amazing little world he's created. I...want...to...live...there! The troll market is cool, monsters are so damn cool...that winged guy towards the end? Oooooohhhhhhh.....incredible. The look of the film was incredible. The Prince and Princess, the little Irish monster.....everything. These little demons they call tooth fairies.....vicious little bastards. You can argue about the plotting and pacing, but the visuals of this movie are its greatest strength.

Oh, and Del Toro? Doing the Hobbit? Yes, that movie is in excellent hands. I have no doubts that the Hobbit is going to be a most excellent film in his hands.

Two things I should mention, if anything detracted from the film it was that I was tired, didn't get enough sleep and my eyes were heavy at times, and the fact that the SOUND WAS NONEXISTANT!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck! Seriously, this movie needed the sound FUCKING cranked. It wasn't there at all. Big sound makes for better experience and this theater dropped the ball so hard. In fact, I think it was the exact same screen I saw Iron Man on. I guess their sound system is fucked, but they really need to fix that. Low sound at a summer blockbuster? Might as well just be hearing it in mono for all the good it does.

Overall, good movie and I would say you should see it. The plot might leave something to be desired, but I guarantee your eyes will be swimming in the visuals.

[UPDATE]
Here's an interesting and brief article from Reuters about Hellboy II.

Nova #15 review

2008-07-12T04:02:00.002-05:00

The Devourer

The conclusion!

Wrapping up a pretty damn awesome action thriller, Orbucen is in the process of being devoured by Galactus and Nova has sweet fuck all chance of escaping. The planet is being pulled apart and Worldmind is at a complete loss capable nothing more then blaming Nova for what could very well be the final destruction of Xandarian culture. Whoops. Nova, being much cooler under pressure, figures a way out of their predicament, flying headlong into one of Galactus's syphon conduits. The power expended in order to pass through, however, had the affect of completely frying Worldmind, leaving Nova effectively on his own. Getting his bearings on Galactus's ship, he scans around for other lifesigns hoping to encounter the Silver Surfer. Instead, he stumbles upon Harrow, the psionic parasite he's been battling it out with this arc. Apparently, Harrow has a physical body. It's the final round between these two, but being in such close proximity to the creature leaves Nova's suit's psionic defenses useless. It's revealed that Harrow has been living off Galactus in a parasitic fashion, feeding off the fear of the inhabitants of the planets Galactus devours and using a, what Abnett and Lanning call, a cone of psilence to shield his presence from Galactus. The fight is going badly for Nova until the Silver Surfer happens upon them. Breaking Harrow's cone of psilence, Galactus immediately detects and destroys Harrow utterly. It looks like Galactus is about to do the same thing to Nova, but instead transports him about five lightyears away. After a brief talk with the Silver Surfer, and with Worldmind still offline, Nova flies off, presumably towards either Earth or the Skrull Empire as the next issue is a Secret Invasion tie-in.

All told, I really liked this story line and this issue wrapped it up nicely. It was very tense, very tightly plotted and very exciting. This issue doesn't have a great deal of character work, but seeing Worldmind lose his shit was pretty interesting to see. How this all affects the character should be interesting to see, since Nova continues to prove himself time and again even though Worldmind has no faith in his abilities.

Wellington Alves draws a FANTASTIC Galactus. This Galactus is friggin huge! Also, the destruction of Orbucen was very cool. Also a hat tip towards Geraldo Burges who fills in for a few pages. I didn't realize it until I checked the credits, but the few pages he does in the middle blend well with Alves to make it pretty seemless.

Man, I hate to say this, but as much as I love this series and with me leaving my job soon this is probably the last issue I'll be picking up for a while. Seriously, I've loved every minute of this series as it has been a fantastic ride. I figure, with this arc over, I should probably end it here before I get involved in another one. Oh, what a goddamn shame.

Detective Comics #846 review

2008-07-12T02:33:00.002-05:00

Batman RIP
Heart of Hush part 1: First Families of Gotham

Admittedly, I'm completely unfamiliar with Hush. I didn't realize this issue was centered around the character, so I had to hit up Wikipedia. Does it do a good job with the character? No clue. Did I like the issue? Well enough. It was certainly an improvement over the last issue, which ended as a major disappointment.

The issue starts with a guy being chased by dogs while a crime boss named Doctor Aesop reads the story of the boy who cried wolf. Catwoman comes to the rescue and it turns out the guy is Batman in one of his street thug identities. They have a little back and forth while Batman changes into costume and are off to put the beatdown on Doctor Aesop and his gang. Then we switch over to Hush, who is following them. Hush encounters a homeless guy and takes him into a bizarre "hostpial" Hush owns and is drugged and carted off for God knows what reasons. While Hush performs some plastic surgery on himself, he recounts his time as a boy when he cut the brake lines on his parents' limo, killing his father and disfiguring his mother. Forwarding past that, we're back to Doctor Aesop feeding one of his men to the lions before Batman and Catwoman come to bust his gang up. They save the guy, but Hush appears at the very end killing Doctor Aesop before threatening Batman and taking off.

Like I said, don't know Hush for shit. Some folks might be bored with this issue, but for me I thought it was a pretty welcome starter to this RIP tie-in. How it ties in is, well, debatable, but getting the opportunity to know Hush was very welcome. We get a chance to see Hush's relationship with his mother, who is described as a woman of humble origins who married up. His father was a boozer and womanizer, but his mother provided the intellectual grounding reading him lots of Aristotle. Course, the relationship seems largely one sided as the young Hush cares nothing for his parents. For me, this story also largely serves as a reminder that I really should pick up the Batman: Hush TPB. Or the Absolute Hush collection. Ooohhhh, a reason for a new Absolute book!

Nguyen does a solid job of the art again. Nothing flashy, though on page three Catwoman comes out sporting some insane camel toe. Do editors even bother with these things anymore?

The issue is all prologue. There is one thing to note, in Hush's hospital is a from...well, it doesn't say. It involves the finding of a young male child that Hush is looking for, so this is something that will play into an upcoming isue of this story. Otherwise, nothing major. I suppose this issue can be passed over for the most part, but for anyone unfamiliar with Hush it provides valuable background.

Justice Society of America #17 review

2008-07-12T00:59:00.002-05:00

Wish Fulfillment

Issue starts with Cyclone chasing her monkey.

Hey, that's always a fun way to start an issue.

Cyclone and her monkey eventually run into Damage. Cyclone sees his face for the first time, surprised, and basically starts crushing on him. It starts off slowly, but right after this we zip on over to Gog. A week has passed since the last issue and Gog has amassed himself a following, performing miracles left and right. Needless to say, such a powerful being doing so much good freaks out the JSA and the JLA. Superheroes are a paranoid bunch, aren't they? Like a bunch of fascists they are, no one gets by without being vetted and newbies are guilty of some wrong doing until proven otherwise. Guess that's why they all look up to Superman, cause he has his head on straight that way. So, after some discussion, Wonder Woman manages to get Gog's attention. He's heard good things about her from the birds flying around his head. Wonder Woman voices her concern, where upon Gog declares his intention to be the protectors of the capes and tights crowd. Skip to a moment in Church between Dr. Midnite and Mr. Terrific; quick moment between Hawkman and Hawkgirl; Lance, Jay Garrick and some Marine Corps General; then it's back to Gog. After an offhand comment from Stargirl, Gog turns to the heroes and starts performing miracles on them to prove his good intentions. This is where things get...interesting. He puts Sandman to sleep, for a 24 hour period, where he will dream pleasant dreams instead of nightmares. For Dr. Midnite, he restores his sight. For Starman, he restores his sanity. For Power Girl, he sends her back to Earth-2. Oh shit. Yeah, this is where they start trippin balls. Before any answers can be had, or before any more miracles can be performed, Gog decides it's time to put an end to war.

I...REALLY...liked this issue. I've been pretty tepid on this series for a while, but this issue and the last have kicked my ass. Gog is a bit of a flighty god. Lots of good intentions, but must not really think things all the way through. It's the reactions people have to him that are cool. The cult of people that do nothing but follow him around, the heroes that are totally either in love with Gog or weary of Gog and ready to put him down. This is pretty well encapsulated in the scene between Dr. Midnite and Mr. Terrific. For a lot of these people, it comes down to faith and their personal conflicts with the issue. For Dr. Midnite, he's assured in his own faith in God but still believes in an inherent goodness. Mr. Terrific, the scientist, being a rational empiricist scientific kinda guy (also an atheist), naturally, has serious problems with Gog as everything Gog is flies in the face of what Mr. Terrific knows. It's a strain for him. Johns treats this whole scene quite thoughtfully and I was very impressed. On the first page of this scene, in the second panel, the priest is speaking about Gog and the dialogue feels very real. Too often it seems a writer will approach the notion of faith and religion in cliched and overbearing ways. Ya know, as the crazed fundamentalist. I don't know if this was Johns or Alex Ross, who is credited and whose father is, I believe, a priest. Contrast this with that two part story that Fabian Nicieza did in Action Comics last year with the faith powered hero, that shit was lame. Like everything Nicieza knew about evangelical Christianity came from Air America or some shit.

I shouldn't overlook the scene between Hawkman and Hawkwoman. Hawkman is examining the artifact that gave Lance his powers. Hawkman estimates that the artifact is a piece of Gog's original body as he's seen the symbol on it in several places over the mid east and Africa. This should be interesting. The moment was also very cute as Hawkman rejects a chance to join the JLA as he thinks Red Arrow is even mouthier than Green Arrow. Funny stuff.

Artwise, Pasarin does another bang up job. Flows smoothly, looks good. I think hes got a thing for bookish girls, as Cyclone probably comes out looking better then the other females.

Again, I am very very pleased with this issue overall. This is the most excited I've been about this book since I started picking it up last year. Excellent read and I would highly recommend picking up this story line. I wasn't originally planning on getting the annual, but I think given the events of this issue I will. I might keep up with this book a little longer then originally intended as well.

Excellent job, Johns and Ross!

Action Comics #867 review

2008-07-11T05:43:00.002-05:00

Hide and Seek

Purty good.

Starts off with Brainiac making his way towards some planet while Superman and Supergirl are examining the robot Superman fought in the last issue. Superman is convinced that the robot is Brainiac while Supergirl sets him straight. Apparently, no one has ever met the real Brainiac. Oh ho. After talking with Supergirl, Clark goes to his parents to let him know he's going into space. While this doesn't please Ma Kent at all, Pa Kent offers up his support while reminiscing about things Clark did when he was a kid. Back at the Daily Planet, Clark is informing Lois while finishing some work when the idiot sports editor comes along making an ass out of himself (funny moment here). After this we jump into space seeing Supes study some of those handy crystals, researching the events immediately after Kandor was bottled up. Zod, of course, wants action while Non is cut off for just bringing up Jor-El's name. Before Superman has a chance to research further, he ses a nearby planet under attack. By Brainiac. Perfect. He goes out in defense of these weird little aliens, kicking some robot ass before seeing Brainiac's ship hover over head. The ship bottles the city before sending out a missile into the planet's star, causing it to explode. Superman...survives! Back to way too powerful Superman again, ay? Anyway, so he's unconscious and Brainiac, who's been searching for a Kryptonian, I suppose Superman, finally captures him at issue's end.

Overall, this issue is just a little fillery but still an immensely satisfying read. The reason it's fillery is Clark's stop at his parents and at the Daily Planet. We didn't necessarily need more sentimentality from Pa Kent, but even so it was a very nice character moment. Johns, and most every Superman writer it seems, has fun making up oddball childhood stories about Clark Kent. It was very sugary sweet. I guess it might be necessary for Johns to do this, however, since they might be killing Pa for good sometime down the line.

The Daily Planet stuff was pretty funny. Again, Johns has a lot of fun with this. The moment when the sport editor comes on he's being a total fucking douche, tossing his football this way and that. Tosses it right into the back of Clark's head. God bless Gary Frank cause he nails the look on Clark's face. Very, "I can't believe I put up with this shit." Very laugh out loud moment and with the day I've had, I sympathized greatly.

What I also greatly appreciated about this issue was some clarification about Kandor. I remember reading in an earlier issue, Action Comics Annual #10 I think, that it was blown off Krypton's moon, but apparently that was a colony of Kandor and not Kandor itself. Now, that entire scene with Supergirl...I'll probably never give this Supergirl a chance. Personally, after Didio gave (or at least is trying to give) Peter David's Supergirl the heave ho out of DCU continuity and for the fact that Kara Zor El is such a dingbat I will never say that this is a worthwhile character. Flighty, slutty, useless. Given that, Johns makes Kara almost worthwhile. Recounting the tale about Kandor and Brainiac, she shows a degree of emotional depth that makes her, almost, sympathetic. Still not Linda Danvers, though.

It's a worthwhile read, lots of good moments even if it doesn't drive the story forward too much. Regardless, Johns and Frank continue putting out the best Superman stories I think I've ever had the pleasure to read. Very much worth the $3 bucks and change.

Booster Gold #1,000,000 review

2008-07-11T03:47:00.002-05:00

Holding Back The Years

A slight tie-in to the DC One Million event from back when.

Actually, aside from the cover design the first couple of pages, it really has nothing to do with DC One Million. Issue #0 felt much more like a Zero Hour tie-in than this issue felt like a DC One Million tie-in. But no matter.

So Ted Kord is dead again, the time stream is setting itself back and Booster Gold is flung into the year 1,000,000 where he meets a sham hero, much like himself, named Peter Platinum. Platinum recognizes Gold and proceeds to tear into him, reminding him how much of a failure and a joke he is. That's pretty much the theme of this issue. Booster is a failure at everything he does. He couldn't use his fame as a hero to become fabulously wealthy, he could barely use his power to do any good. He's ready to give it all up and breaks it off with Rip Hunter.

Back in the 21st century, he encounters the Royal Flush Gang tearing up a casino. Frustrated, he uses the occasion to take out his problems on the gang, making a bit of a mess before Green Arrow and Green Lantern come in and finish things off and proceed to absent-mindedly accuse Booster of hiring them as a PR stunt. This pisses Booster off no end before Batman calls him and requests to see him.

Booster is furious at this point, going on how he realizes how crap he is and raving away when Batman shows him some photos. In a previous issue, when he tried to save Barbra Gordon from being crippled, Booster was tortured by the Joker as well. Batman had these photos, but sat on them until Booster was about the right age. So they have a man to man where Batman confides in him that he respects him for being crazy enough to do the right thing. "Let the world think you're crazy if that's what it takes to be the best you can be," is what he tells him. Course, comi9ng from Batman, this is high praise. Finding new confidence in himself, he takes off to find Rip Hunter to talk about maybe keeping on doing what they've been doing. Big reveal, Booster Gold sees his younger, previously dead sister, Michelle. Apparently, Rip Hunter saves her at the point of her death and reunites the two. The point he makes is that even though the past is past, the future is wide open (cornball, yeah). Booster is reunited with his sister, Rip has his Time Masters, and, in an epiloge, we see someone break into the Kord Industries building. Interesting.

All told, it was okay. It's the epilogue to the Blue & Gold storyline and wraps things up well enough. I would think Booster would be more torn over having to deal with his best friend dying a second time. Instead he's running around lamenting how much he sucks. What a selfish prick, but I guess that is very much in the character of Booster Gold. What's interesting is, for a minor hero, Booster Gold's reputation as a louse and a sleaze survives nearly a million years into the future. No respect from his fellow heroes, probably the most underestimated hero in the DCU, can't catch a break.....I would think this title would have been better considering.

This is my last issue of the series. Next month starts an arc by recently Chuck Dixon, who recently left DC. (The DC website says he's a guest writer, but my guess is he was supposed to be taking over as regular writer.) All told, have I enjoyed this series? Well, I've had some fun with it. Unfortunately, the approach to the format, basically being written with the collections in mind, hurt it for me. Also, I've loved that it's got a more old time feel to it. Too many writers take their work too seriously and this never lost its lighthearted feel. Unfortunately, it just dallied and dragged its stories on way too long. Solid art by Dan Jurgens every issue, and the stories themselves weren't bad, just forgettable and didn't have that oomph. Maybe Chuck Dixon will fix that problem, but I'm not gonna be on board. Maybe I'll pick up a trade in the future, but for now I'm done.

Final Crisis: Requiem review

2008-07-11T02:41:00.002-05:00

Caretakers of Mars

This issue...on the one hand, it was basically what I expected, but it still took me by complete surprise.

The Martian Manhunter is dead, and this issue covers everything surrounding that.

The issue begins at his funeral before flashing back to the final moments up to and including his death and the immediate aftermath. So we see Jonzz, drugged to shit, held by Libra and his goon, taken back and run through by Libra. In Final Crisis #1, Manhunter goes out like a punk. The death was way too easy. Here, we see a much more dignified death, at least in that he does a helluva job fighting back, using his telepathy to start messing with the minds of all the villains around. Unfortunately, it doesn't affect Libra, who manages to brutally finish him off. In his dying moments, Manhunter sends out a telepathic signal to all his closest comrades. Superman, Batman, Green Lantern and the like. Finally, his body is left in New York, impaled on a replica of Mars at a planetarium.

Well, alright, this is a lot of stuff that didn't necessarily need to be packaged and sold, I mean we already saw him get killed in Final Crisis #1, right?

So here's where Pete Tomasi kicks my ass.

The telepathic message Jonzz sent out was something that all Martians do at death. They telepathically seed all their memories to their family and friends. During the night, the telepathic suggestion kicks in and all the people who received it begin transcribing the life of Jonn Jonzz. And this...well, maybe not so much the actual bits presented by Tomasi but the concept was brilliant. Sentimentality in comics usually comes across pretty lamely, and there are small moments of that in this issue, but overall I was pretty floored. We do get a lot of the Martian Manhunter's best fights in this issue, yeah, but the whole thing is handled wonderfully. It is sentimental, but without being (too) corny or sappy...it is DC's way of celebrating the history of one of their major, if completely underappreciated, characters. There are a couple of jokes that are fairly out of place, and the moment between Hal Jordan and Oliver Queen could have been stripped out, but I appreciate that Tomasi approached this in a creative way, in a way that makes sense for the character, while minimizing the emotional wank factor.

Now as for Doug Mahnke...man, this guy blows me away. I remember first seeing his stuff back in the day on Major Bummer and thinking, hey, this guy is alright. Not great, but alright. What he produces these days is completely different from what I expect. I still think of Major Bummer when I think of Mahnke. Yeah, I know, completely behind the times. Well drawn, detailed, layed out nicely...tight stuff, man.

The issue isn't important towards Final Crisis. You could save yourself four bucks and not miss anything towards the event, but I would recommend this issue based on the fact that it's a well crafted epilogue for the Martian Manhunter that's honestly respectful towards a character that's been a mainstay of the DC Universe for many, many years. Got four bucks and change to blow? Go for it.

Secret Invasion #4 review

2008-07-11T01:55:00.002-05:00

So every issue I say I'm not gonna pick up the next but I inevitably do anyway. This issue is kinda the same way. It's okay. I think, halfway in, this series is ultimately going to rate a "just okay."

What happens this issue?

Maria Hill is still freaking out over Skrull Jarvis.

Skrull Spider-Woman is, apparently, just totally fucking with Tony Stark. The Black Widow, out of the blue, reveals this factoid. Tony is one of the only people able to stop the Skrull invasion. Apparently, he did something like it before (though when I don't recall). So their next objective is to find Reed Richards, who's been captured by the Skrulls.

Fighting is still happening in Manhattan. Nick Fury comes in with his crew, blasts some shit, shoot Ms. Marvel and then take off. (There is, however, some lovely Ms. Marvel fanservice.) Ms. Marvel is then overwhelmed by Skrulls.

There are some wasted pages involving the above mentioned Maria Hill freak out, that green haired chick from SWORD, and some villains. The ending is pretty cool though. We're finally seeing two characters that have been otherwise insulated from the rest of the Marvel U for a while.

This issue, overall, left me wanting. Nothing has really been advanced. The stuff with the Avengers in the Savage Land hasn't advanced much since issue #1 and the scale of the invasion is, as I believe The Stack pointed out, limited to Manhattan (albeit in this series). Leinil Yu is a fine artist and paces the action nicely enough. Did I mention he's clearly an ass man? The problem for me is everything that happens, that's been happening so far, feels like nothing but warm up. Like promises of big giant huge things happening and we've been getting these endless teases. Halfway in, I'm wondering when Bendis is going to really deliver the goods. I suppose my problem could be that I'm not reading New or Mighty Avengers, which apparently tie in heavily to the main series. Now, it might make the whole event a much more satisfying experience when all read together, but the one series should be enough. It's like this is turning into Marvel's version of DC's One Million event, where the main series had only a minimal impact when the main action was in the tie-ins. Oy!

Will I pick up the next issue? I've gotta stop kidding myself, I will. BUT! With each passing issue it seems like the promise of this series slides more and more. Even with that ending, if the next issue plays out like I think we'll just be left with more dangling threads that will go nowhere until they're tied together in a forcded, contrived ending that leaves no one satisfied. Hopefully I'm wrong. Hopefully, cause I really want this series to work out.

Empire of Blue Water

2008-07-10T06:40:00.001-05:00

Finally started with a new book and I'm going with Stephen Talty's book about Henry Morgan.

Only three chapters in, but I'm diggin it. A lot of set up, Talty describing the motivations for England, Spain, Morgan and Thomas Gage. Some anecdotes and descriptions about the typical pirate and privateer of that era.

Reads pretty briskly, which is good. Not a whole lot of pillaging and plundering quite yet. Actual, Henry Morgan is still a peripheral character at this point. I think Talty should start focusing on him fairly soon.

Otherwise, so far so good. There's at least a couple of paragraphs that I've read that kinda read like something Douglas Adams would have wrote for the Hitchhiker's Guide. Very funny stuff.

New Comics Wednesday

2008-07-09T19:00:00.002-05:00

Action Comics #867

Booster Gold #1,000,000

Captain Britain and MI: 13 #3

Detective Comics #846

Final Crisis: Requiem

Guardians of the Galaxy #3

Justice Society of America #17

Nova #15

Secret Invasion #4

A big week for me with lots of goodies. Guess I will keep on with Secret Invasion after all. Final Crisis: Requiem kicks off the first spin off to Final Crisis and I'm hoping it adds something to an otherwise disjointed story. Captain Britain, Nova, Guardians...Hell yes!

Reviews forthcoming.

[Update]

Bloody blue blazes...damn books don't ship until tomorrow! Well, I guess it's gonna be more like New Comics Thursday, isn't it?

Diamond didn't used to be like this. If a holiday was before Wednesday, sure, new comics were delayed. If it was after, however, it was business as usual.

Ah, no matter.

It's done

2008-07-06T00:45:00.001-05:00

Called my boss and announced my intentions to leave at the end of August. Told him I would give a rough date next week in which to expect my two weeks notice.

Big change, big honkin ass change. I've had this job for nearly five years and it's not the kinda job one keeps for that long. It's not a career job, and I need to move on to something where I have a half a chance in hell of moving upwards. This job is pretty dead-end kinda stuff. It's fun, I like it and all. I get to putter around all night reading and blogging. But I'm underpaid and in this economy what with pretty crazy inflation and all I need something else. Hell, I saw HEB advertising a more menial job with a higher wage and a higher wage is not something I'm gonna be able to expect here.

I still got the part-time, which is good cause I'm not completely out of work and I'll be able to cover most of my expenses without dipping too much into my savings.

So that's it. I've been talking about this for months and I'm finally going through with it. Well, a month later then originally intended, but this summer sucked more then we expected. Steering problems, fridge problems, finally taking care of the dryer, the Church finally sprung for a new A/C unit.....well, actually, the new A/C unit might help defray some energy costs since it's not leaking air like the old one. But things are, by and large, looking...weird. I just gotta do what I can to make sure this isn't the dumbest thing I've ever done.

House of M

2008-07-05T01:49:00.001-05:00

Finished it earlier this week.

Overall, I liked it, but there are a lot of unanswered questions left at the end.

Biggest one, where was Xavier after all? I was just baffled by that since they never get to it.

As for Layla Miller, was she or was she not a creation of the Scarlet Witch? That she wakes up in her own home, after everything has happened, with her mother yelling at her then I would say no even though the possibility is brought up by Doctor Strange. Ditto with Magneto. They hint at the possibility of Wanda bringing him back after being clearly decapitated at the end of Grant Morrison's run on New X-Men. This, I thought, was a solid explanation, but I think the current explanation is different. I'm not too up to date on this period of Marvel continuity, though, which is why I bought the book.

I suppose to get the answers I really want I'll end up buying a few other trades like Decimation and the like. I think there's also an X-Men arc taking place during House of M drawn by Alan Davis. Oh shit, guess now I'll just have to put that in my wish list, what a shame, what a shame.

Olivier Coipel's art was the absolute highlight of the story for me. That alone made this whole thing worth it, whatever flaws the story might have had (which were plenty).

The story I think would rate 3.5/5 for me. It's decent, had solid art and ends on a really shocking note even if I already knew it beforehand.

Happy Independence Day!

2008-07-04T23:59:00.001-05:00

Had a huge 4th of July dinner of fajitas, grilled vegetables, sauteed mushrooms, coleslaw, and a twice-baked potato washed down with a nice cold Shiner Bock.

Excellent.

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #1 review

2008-07-04T02:08:00.002-05:00

It's 1958 in the Appalachian mountains in Virginia. Hellboy is seeing to a family who's daughter has been bewitched. While talking to the family, a fellow named Tom Ferrel walks in. Seems this guy had left a long time ago says he wanted to say hello and finds a "witchball" on the doorstep. They talk and decide that a woman named Cora Fisher is responsible so Hellboy decides to investigate this woman while old Tom tags along.

While on their way, Tom tells Hellboy the story of him meeting a witch named Effie Kolb, naked in a lake, when he was a kid and teaches him how to make a lucky bone and summon the devil. He does, but upon seeing him, he runs off and eventually joins the Army fighting in World War II, surviving thanks to his lucky bone.

Eventually we meet Cora, the girl who's skin is seen draped across her bed, reenter it as a racoon. Corben draws a very cute racoon by the way. They confront her and she confesses to taking up with some witches after her life went to hell. While Cora pleads with them Effie Kolb, not aging since Tom last saw her, comes along demanding Cora come along with her. Tom refuses to let Cora go and it basically goes from there. Effie gives Tom the half dead horse she was riding in on which turns out to be his father, who dies immediately. Tom decides it's time for him to finally confront the devil he saw all those years ago and save Cora's soul.

I really liked this story. I really really REALLY liked this story. Being set in backwoods Virginia in the 50s, Richard Corben's art nails the atmosphere that Mignola is going for. It might be a bit too backwoods, but it doesn't matter cause for me this was all about the atmosphere. Corben's art really makes this book hard to put down. Backwoods in low light, Tom with his long face checking out demon familiars against firelight, burning candles illuminating shed skin...I could swim in this setting. The hillbilly magic, boiling dead cats and repudiating Christ and the like...really, this is fantastic American Gothic type stuff. The story is pretty good, but it's the mood and the setting that draws me in.

Love it. Kind of a so-so week overall, but this comic here is a knock out.

Batman #678 review

2008-07-04T00:48:00.002-05:00

Batman RIP: Zur En Arrh

The issue starts off with Tim reading one of Bruce's journals before being attacked by some circus clowns. He beats them back but they continue the chase. Cut to Bruce laying face down in a gutter, hopped up on crystal meth, being found by a homeless fellow named Honor Jackson. Honor helps Bruce get back on his feet. Bruce is completely out of it, flashing back to the last thing he saw remembers just before winding up in the street. We cut to Nightwing kicking the ass of a couple of guys dressed like gladiators and communicating with Tim who's still on the run (yet still had time to top for a burger...Time really eats a lot this issue). Tim knows Bruce is in trouble but doesn't tell Nightwing much before Nightwing encounters...Scorpiana I think it is. Back to Bruce, we see him running around with Honor Jones, begging, getting in trouble with drug dealers, etc etc. Honor then gives Bruce a mysterious little gift before having a brief heart to heart and disappearing. Now Bruce, on his own, stumbling around, runs into a fellow who informs Bruce that Honor had just recently died. Back to Tim, he's trying to get a hold of Nightwing who is now a prisoner at Arkham Asylum. After that, we finally see the Batcave again, the Black Glove firmly in control and Alfred tied up and beaten badly. The couple of pages we see Bruce stitching together a new costume, holding the device Honor gave him, The Bat-Radia and announcing himself as the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh while the Bat-Mite hovers over him.

And my thoughts are...are...well I'm pretty baffled.

I liked this issue but only in spite of the overall story. As for the overall story, I'm clueless, but this issue had some good stuff going for it. I really, really liked the stuff with Honor Jackson. He sees Bruce, treats him like shit but once he recognizes him he decides to help him out (and keeps calling him "Soljer"). So he takes Bruce on his little odyssey across town and his side quest to a liquor store. I thought it was funny and endearing. The gift of the Bat-Radia was a nice moment too. I don't know, maybe it's just cause when I was reading it Al Sharpton's voice kept popping up in my head, but it made the character oddly like-able. That it turns out Honor was already dead was probably the dumbest thing Morrison could have thrown in (I groaned), but once you realize it was all Bat-Mite's doing (I think...least that's who Honor Jackson was talking to in his first panel appearance) it is slightly forgivable.

What am I thinking of the overall story arc?

Honestly, I'm really not caring much for it. Each new part just seems disconnected from the last. Jezebel Jet, who spent last issue totally fucking with Bruce, doesn't make the slightest appearance this issue. Joker? Where the hell is he? What about all that stuff from lsat issue about Thomas and Martha Wayne whoring themselves about? Nothing. Nothing at all.

I haven't been reading Morrison's run from the very beginning, am I just missing something from earlier issues? I know I don't care for the constant references to old silver age stories. It's just getting tedious. Yes, Grant, you can pull all sorts of crazy, obscure characters out from your magic hat, now stop pissing around and get this shit into high gear!

I hate to say this, he's done lots of stuff with this title that I've greatly enjoyed, but until Morrison decides to start telling a coherent story, it's becoming nothing more then puerile self-indulgence.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #16 review

2008-07-03T04:13:00.002-05:00

Time of Your Life part one.

Joss Whedon returns to write a four issue arc crossing over with his Buffy-verse creation, Fray the Vampire Slayer.

I never read Fray.

In fact, I didn't start watching Buffy until after the series ended and started watching repeats on FX. Hell, I own season seven and still need to get around to watching it, so I don't recognize the odd character here and there.

But I'll get to the book.

It's fairly typical of a crossover.

The issue starts off with Buffy in the future fighting Fray before immediately flashing back to the present day as Dawn is shown to be in pain and BUffy, Willow and Xander are having a round table disucssing the vision Willow had in the last issue. Seems they have to travel to New York City to follow up. Before that, they ruish out to check on Dawn who has, apparently, transformed from a giantess to a...Centaur. Sweet! A topless centaur. Flashbacks to Fantasia imminent.

Segue to skinless dude (shit, what's his name!), his chick and some dude in a mask scheming with something involving a missile.

So Buffy and Willow take off to New York. They get to New York. They meet up with some girl introduced in season seven which I haven't watched yet...Kennedy according to Wikipedia. Anywho, they meet up with Kennedy and start covering the details of their mission with a squad of New York Slayers. This is when Willow starts discussing the temporal anomoly causing...something. This is where I think the story gets a little confused with itself. In Scotland, Buffy and Willow were talking about finding the source of her Scythe's power and now they're talking temporal anomalies. Like I said, it's fairly typical of a crossover. Forced reasons.

Back to Scotland with Xander and newly centaurified Dawn having a heart to heart. Xander, naturally, manages to upset Dawn and she runs off before the giant missle from earlier completely destroys the castle headquarters.

Back in New York, they're at the high rise location where they think the mystical temporal signature is located when Buffy suddenly disappears, replaced by a giant monster. Buffy, thrown through time, finds herself in the same high rise, far into the future, just before getting put to the ground by Fray.

Well, all told...I don't wanna say I'm cold on this issue. I'm certainly intersted in where they are taking things with Dawn, the destruction of the castle, the conflicts betwwen Buffy and Kennedy and, well, Buffy and Fray. But...maybe since I'm not familiar with Fray at all having never read a single thing with the character, I'm just not that interested in the overall premise of the arc. I'm glad that Whedon is back and all, but I think he could have done a much better job explaining why Buffy and Willow are in New York. Is it to search for the dource of the power behind the scythe, or to examine a temporal vortex? If they're related, how? Maybe the explanation comes later, but it didn't really do anything for me this issue.

Loved the moments between the characters, I enjoyed Karl Moline's art well enough (even though all the characters seemed to do a lot of unintentional naval gazing), but...the arc doesn't feel like a natural progression from the last. I absolutely loved the last arc, I thought it was brilliant, but this arc seems like a forced detour. There are probably other, die-hard Buffy fans out there squealing over this one, but...I'm gonna just hold my breath on this one a little. Part one of a four parter, there's more to come, I'll wait and see what goes on. Next issue looks like it'll probably be filled with a lot action and tension, so here's looking forward to it.

Blue Beetle #28 review

2008-07-03T03:26:00.003-05:00

Brutus

Not bad. Not particularly good. Could have been much better.

Will Pfeifer ends his brief guest stint on the title by telling a simple tale involving a villain from the past of Dan Garret, the original Blue Beetle and his giant green monster dog.

So this monster is running around smashing windows and tearing shit up inside the shops and also happens to attack Jaime's friend, Hector. Even though he gets away unharmed, the attack and vandelism are enough to cause Jaime to investigate. However, Garret's granddaughter, Dani Garret, alongside Peacemaker, have other plans as they suspect Dan Garret's old nemesis, Drl. Mephistopheles has taken up residence in El Paso. However, they quickly realize the cases are linked, and start searching for giant green monsters. Jaime finds what he's looking for quickly and fights this big monster dog and is just short of killing the thing that Dr. Mepshisto, now an old man, quickly steps out and ends the fight. Seems they weren't meaning to cause trouble, as the last time he and Dan Garret fought forced Dr. Mephisto to change his ways and reform, though by going underground and not serving time. The issue ends simply enough when they decide that it's best to leave well enough alone.

There was some good stuff in this issue that I liked, but the ending was mystifying. I liked the flashbacks to Dan Garret. That's pretty much what I've enjoyed about this series the entire time I've been reading it, the legacy of the Blue Beetle and that Jaime Reyes has a whole history to live up to. It suits the nature of the character and it makes for a very enjoyable read.

What I didn't like about this issue is the motivation for Dr. Mephisto and his Hulk Dog. There was none. If all the guy was doing was looking to live the rest of his days in obscurity in a nice, warm place like El Paso, why was he even dog to hulk out? This was never explained. I suppose that maybe the new writer, Matt Sturges, and the editorial staff are looking to introduce a new character into the Blue Beetle fold that connects Reyes further into the past of the Blue Beetle legacy and they'll address the issue later. Ya know, something like, "Yeah, I was trying to get your attention for whatever reason and blah blah blah needing to feel alive again yada yada yada..." Ya know, that sort of thing. But then, I don't think they're looking for that kind of extended story-telling with series.

But overall, it was just a quick, silly, one off tale that's mostly forgettable. It's the last issue I'm picking up before Matt Sturges takes over. (That he wants to use the comic to tackle the border fence is a shame, since the issue is too complex for this title, hell for this medium, to handle.)

I'm glad I'm jumping off now. John Rogers run was too fun and with these last two issues it's pretty apparent that that atmosphere is pretty well gone with his departure.

Astonishing X-Men #25 review

2008-07-03T00:45:00.002-05:00

Ghost Box

For the record, while I've read the first 12 issues of Whedon's run in hardcover, I don't have the final half for the fact that I'm waiting for the hardcover. In fact, I'm just picking this issue up solely to see how Ellis handles the X-Men proper. This Hisako character? No clue who she is. Cute as a button, though.

So what did I think?

I agree with the guys from The Stack, it's basically a very sleepy issue. Starts off with Wolverine sleeping in a tree, Beast sipping coffee, random guy getting burned alive, Beast singing to himself. Some snappy patter between Beast and Hisako. It's a fine enough start to the book. Ellis is just settling himself in. But almost all of the character intros are of them in bed or just waking up. The Stack's Alex is probably right that Ellis might be writing just a bit too much, cause the writing probably does reflect his mood at the time of writing the script. Sleepy, needing coffee, and after seeing Scott Summers and Emma Frost in bed for the ten billionth time, probably had a major case of morning wood.

Let me have this moment to say that I've never seen two characters screw more then Scott Summers and Emma Frost. When Summers and Jean Grey were together, it seemed like a very mature relationship. With Scott and Emma, it's nothing but fucking at every opportunity. Maybe it's cause the writer's can't find any rational reason for these two to be together so they just fall back on hot sex. But the moment they resurrect Jean Grey, honestly, they need to break these two up. The only thing Scott Summers had going for him was Jean Grey and the fact that he's screwing the White Queen proves what an addle-brained dickhead he can be. The only other character more liable to think with his knob end is probably Nightwing. But seriously, he meets Jean Grey and starts dating her. She dies and immediately falls for her clone, Madelyne Prior. He marries her, knocks her up, Jean is resurrected and like a total douche he leaves Madelyne for Jean and lets his brother Alex have the sloppy seconds. After being mentally violated by Apocolypse, he proves what an weak, insecure pussy he is and starts having a crazy psychic affair with Emma Frost. Can you believe this guy? And he's the leader of the X-Men? Is it any wonder mutants are hated and feared? Shit, I'd be advocating their genocide too if mutants were real.

Oh but I do go on.

Right, so we get a bit of a tour around the new X-base and get acclimated to the new squad, which is Cyclops, Emma Frost, Wolverine, Beast, Armor, and Storm. We see some of their new equipment which is in one case donated by the City of San Fransisco (guess they really don't need money for law enforcement or something) while the rest is gotten by either Angel or by a non-profit organization called Mutantes Sans Frontieres (set up in return for so the X-Men can have a "greater focus on African matters") set up by Storm, recetnly married to the Black Panther, who in turn is the king of Wakanda. All that sounds much more plausible then the old reason, which was Xavier's daddy had set him up a trust fund. Some trust fund! So instead, the X-Men are now funded by various kinds of bribes and kickbacks in return for favors. Seriously, African matters? Beast is too prejudiced to consider the idea of human/mutant interbreeding to lift their recently decimated numbers (see Endangered Species one-shot), do you think he gives two shits about blacks? "Oh, yeah, AIDS vaccine, coming right up! *whispering* (My blue ass...)" Seriously, I think they went from Xavier having a dream of mutants and humans living in peace to just watching out for themselves. Hey, do what ya gotta I say.

Speaking of Beast, Ellis comes up with a simple and nifty explanation for how the X gene works in this issue. It's explained that it sits on he 23rd chromosome pair and uses "exotic" proteins" to send chemical signals to mutate the other genes. I really liked this grounding in plausible, or at least plausible sounding, science.

But, even though the story is supposed to be centered around a murder mystery, it in fact is a fairly slow going, albeit witty, issue. All in all, like Beast's coffee sipping, meandering stroll around the new base and taking in the view of the Golden Gate bridge, that's what we get in Ellis's first issue. A casual, leisurely stroll gazing around the X-Men's new environs. It's not bad, actually very pleasant and enjoyable, but nothing to rush out for.

New Comics Wednesday

2008-07-03T00:38:00.003-05:00

Astonishing X-Men #25

Batman #678

Blue Beetle #28

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #16

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #1

And for the record, I have had too much coffee.

It's a small week overall. I'm pleased. Next week, according to Comixology, is gonna be ginormous. The Final Crisis side series will start with Requiem and the week after that Rogue's Revenge. Excellent.

Reviews forthcoming.

*Insert New Title*

Metallica - My Apocalypse

Final Crisis: Revelations #2 review

Green Lantern Corps #28 review

Deadpool #1

Secret Invasion #6 review

New Comics Wednesday

Justice Society of America #18 review

Green Lantern #34 review

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #18 review

Detective Comics #848 review

Nightwing #148 review

Final Crisis: Superman Beyond #1 review

New Comics Thursday

Spendy!

X-Men: Legacy #215 review

Nova #16 review

Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge #2 review

X-Force #6 review

DC Universe Last Will and Testament review

New Comics Wednesday

Metallica - The Day That Never Comes

Finished Empire of Blue Water

Almost ate $20 bucks

Captain America #41 review

The Incredible Hercules #120 review

Guardians of the Galaxy #4 review

Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds #1 review

Justice League of America #24 review

The Flash #243 review

New Comics Wednesday

Action Comics #868 review

Astonishing X-Men #26 review

Green Lantern Corps #27 review

Fuck!

Captain Britain & MI:13 #4 review

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #2 review

On Batman RIP

Batman #679 review

Final Crisis: Revelations #1 review

Secret Invasion #5 review

New ComicsThursday

Buy.com FTW!

Comics are late

Buy totally fucked me

New pillows!

Detective Comics #847 review

Buffy The Vampire Slayer #17 review

Nightwing #147 review

Final Crisis #3 review

Robin #176 review

New Comics Wednesday

Saw The Dark KNight again tonight

Green Lantern Corps #26 review

X-Men: Legacy #214 review

Thor #10 review

Green Lantern #33 review

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Justice League of America #23 review

Uncanny X-Men #500 review

Justice Society of America Annual #1 review

Robin #175 review

New Comics Wednesday

It occurs to me...

Poor neglected blog

Hurricane Dolly

The Dark Knight

I'm still decompressing...

The Dark Knight

The Incredible Hercules #119 review

X-Force #5 review

X-Factor #33 review

Captain America #40 review

Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge #1 review

The Flash #242 review

New Comics Wednesday

Batman Begins

And the rest...

Electronic hauling

Speaking of Hellboy

Insert New Title