Wow, I didn't really expect that
So I got home this morning from work and was pretty damn tired and the only thing I had in mind was to lay down and sleep for ten hours. So I lie down and then my dog scratches at my door. It's the schnauzer. Okay, well, I guess he had to take a shit. So I let him out and while he's out I make myself some toast. Mmmmm, yummy toast! And he comes back in and I think all is well. I lie back down. A minute later he's scratching at my door again! Shit, he's got an upset stomach and is gona have the runs all morning. I let him out but...well, he doesn't really do anything. Weird, maybe he wants attention? I dunno. He starts acting really weird. He actually comes over to me. He never does that. The damn dog barely acknowledges my existence. He totaly ignores me. So it's kinda weird for him to actually come over. But then he's also getting up, walking a ways and then laying down. Repeatedly.
Shit! He's backed up! He does this when he gets blocked up and can't shit.I know it, he got a hold of some fucking corn husks from those tamales we had on the weekend and now he can't shit! Fuck! FUCK! GODFUCKINGDAMMIT! I call mom and ask him if he had gotten a hold of anything recently, maybe picked somethign of the street. No, not that she was aware. I was pretty pissed cause she also said she didn't pay much attention. Greeaat! So I'm fucking fuming cause I gotta take the dog to the vet now. Fuck, last thing I wanted to do was take the dog to the vet and pay to have something pumped from his stomach.
Christ, okay, whatever, throw the little bastard in the truck and take him to Dr. Tewell's to drop him off. I get there and, oddly enough, the dog is running around sniffing everything in sight. Hhhmmm. Get inside and, whoops, now they require deposits for dropped off pets and I didn't bring my wallet. Christ...okay, well I wait a few minutes for Tewell to show but then I think, well, fuck, I don't wana wait forever and I'm gonna have to pay anyway. Plus the dog is whining his stupid head off cause he wants to wander around and I have him on a leash. Hhmmm. Okay, leave, come back, barely avoid rear ending a guy cause teh damn roads are wet (and causing the dog to fall off the seat). Get back, Tewell is there and he beckons me so he can look at the dog. Okay, well, sure. They stick a thermometer up his ass, pull it out and...well, whattya know, there's shti on it. Apparently there's no bowel problems. Mmmmmmmm.....so I explain to Tewell what the deal was. And suddenly he has an idea.
Tewell puts a stethoscope up to the dog and makes his diagnosis. He's getting congestive heart failure. Oh, okay...wait, WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Apparently the dog was getting close to having a fucking heart attack. Oh shit, this is much worse! Couple of shots later, a couple of prescriptions and $152 dollars later we're done.
So what's the deal? Well, the dog is old. He'll be 11 years old in around February. Bt that's nto the major issue. The dog is fat. When they weighed him my jaw hit the floor. It was embarassing. His problem is he's a big (or little) fat dog and needs exercise and to lose weight. Well, it shouldn't be too hard, I suppose. He is walked every night without fail. They vary in length but it is a regular habit. His problem is the same problem his owners have. He snacks. We give him shit far too often. Table scraps, a lot of table scraps. Basically this ends now. No more snacks, just regular, run of the mill dog food. Tewell said anything weight control will do. Cool, we've been giving both dogs Iams weight control for a while now. I guess I'll have to walk the dog more as well. At least once in the mornings as well as at night. That would help. He's not really that playful anymore and honestly never really did learn to fetch a ball. I'll figure out ways to keep him more active.
What a fucking morning.
Shit! He's backed up! He does this when he gets blocked up and can't shit.I know it, he got a hold of some fucking corn husks from those tamales we had on the weekend and now he can't shit! Fuck! FUCK! GODFUCKINGDAMMIT! I call mom and ask him if he had gotten a hold of anything recently, maybe picked somethign of the street. No, not that she was aware. I was pretty pissed cause she also said she didn't pay much attention. Greeaat! So I'm fucking fuming cause I gotta take the dog to the vet now. Fuck, last thing I wanted to do was take the dog to the vet and pay to have something pumped from his stomach.
Christ, okay, whatever, throw the little bastard in the truck and take him to Dr. Tewell's to drop him off. I get there and, oddly enough, the dog is running around sniffing everything in sight. Hhhmmm. Get inside and, whoops, now they require deposits for dropped off pets and I didn't bring my wallet. Christ...okay, well I wait a few minutes for Tewell to show but then I think, well, fuck, I don't wana wait forever and I'm gonna have to pay anyway. Plus the dog is whining his stupid head off cause he wants to wander around and I have him on a leash. Hhmmm. Okay, leave, come back, barely avoid rear ending a guy cause teh damn roads are wet (and causing the dog to fall off the seat). Get back, Tewell is there and he beckons me so he can look at the dog. Okay, well, sure. They stick a thermometer up his ass, pull it out and...well, whattya know, there's shti on it. Apparently there's no bowel problems. Mmmmmmmm.....so I explain to Tewell what the deal was. And suddenly he has an idea.
Tewell puts a stethoscope up to the dog and makes his diagnosis. He's getting congestive heart failure. Oh, okay...wait, WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Apparently the dog was getting close to having a fucking heart attack. Oh shit, this is much worse! Couple of shots later, a couple of prescriptions and $152 dollars later we're done.
So what's the deal? Well, the dog is old. He'll be 11 years old in around February. Bt that's nto the major issue. The dog is fat. When they weighed him my jaw hit the floor. It was embarassing. His problem is he's a big (or little) fat dog and needs exercise and to lose weight. Well, it shouldn't be too hard, I suppose. He is walked every night without fail. They vary in length but it is a regular habit. His problem is the same problem his owners have. He snacks. We give him shit far too often. Table scraps, a lot of table scraps. Basically this ends now. No more snacks, just regular, run of the mill dog food. Tewell said anything weight control will do. Cool, we've been giving both dogs Iams weight control for a while now. I guess I'll have to walk the dog more as well. At least once in the mornings as well as at night. That would help. He's not really that playful anymore and honestly never really did learn to fetch a ball. I'll figure out ways to keep him more active.
What a fucking morning.
posted by Robert at 2:29 AM
3 Comments:
Now I remember why I don't have any pets. Your dog is luck to have you. Where I'm from, sick dogs are usually taken to a remote area and.... Well, I'll just let you imagine the rest.
Cut into thin slices for bacon?
Nah, the schnauzer is old and probably wouldn't taste very good.
LMAO! I didn't think of that. I was actually thinking of the family that lives in that remote area and has like 20 dogs. Boy, did they know how to take care of dogs.
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