Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Black Dahlia

Man, I just...don't know what to make of this.

It had it's good points. I liked the noirish feel. The soft focus De Palma would use to give the film an old timey feel, things like that. The occasional graphic violence was also good.

Everything else? Well, I didn't really give two shits about what was happening. The movie had no focus. It lacked direction. It started out with a boxing story. Then it goes into rookie detective paired with the experienced top gun with the hot girly. Then a bunch of shit happens that makes you wonder when they're finally gonna get to the matter of the Black Dahlia case that the movie is supposed to be about. Then they get to the Black Dahlia and Josh Hartnett's character has no interest in following that case. And Josh Hartnett is the fucking star of the movie! If his character doesn't give two shits why should we?

What ends up happening is his character loses focus and so does the director. Characters come and go. Aaron Eckhart plays Hartnett's partner, starts off as an awesome guy, then next thing you know he's gone crazy. Hilary Swank comes into the story and then leaves just as suddenly. And when she comes back she's practically a different character! And so on and so forth. Should I mention the glaring plot holes?

I tried to tell myself the movie was okay after the end. But the more I sit on it, the more I hate it. This movie sucks. I should have stayed home. I could have stayed home and read my book. I should have. I really should have.

Now here's the killer. It's kinda spoilery but here's the killer deal. here's the thing that I wish I knew before the movie started to get some clarification. There's a disclaimer at the very end that says the events portrayed on screen were completely fictitious. Oh yes, there was a Black Dahlia Murder. That much is true. But that's it. The rest was complete horseshit. Sold as a true crime story that wasn't even remotely true. Fucking bullshit! If I had known that I would have never seen the damn movie. Ya know why? Brian De Palma hasn't made a good movie in like...actually I've never seen a Brian De Palma movie that really kicked my ass. There was the one with Nick Cage done in real time. There was the one about a mission to Mars that involved that picture of the face in the martian sand. That was really it. Even then those movies were only so so. And Scarface?!

This is the last time I will ever see anything done by Brian De Palma.

God, I'm gonna have to run over to the ghetto theater now to wash this taste out from my mouth. See something good. I could see Cars or Monster House again. Maybe Click. Been a while since I saw an Adam Sandler movie. Miami Vice? Fuck it, why not? Seeing two of the most arrogant and self-important leading men in Hollywood preening around on screen would be a thousand times more satisfying than watching the complete shitfest I just subjected myself to.

Flyboys on the 22nd. Here's hoping that one works out.


Post a Comment

<< Home