The greatest thing

So I wake up, get dressed and step out for a cigarette and what do I find in the mail?

A Gillette Fusion razor.

I got fives blades!

Isn't that awesome?

I do love Gillette. They're awesome. Truly it's a company of men, by men and for men. They understand one thing about men. Given that they make razors, they only need to understand one thing about men. I can see it now in my mind's eye. Rich, powerful men tossing ideas back and forth to each other on how to sell their product and finally thinking of the right question. What kind of razor will a man shave with? He will shave with whatever you put in his hand. Hence, free razors in the mail.

Proof that capitalism works and that Adam Smith loves us.

I'd bet money that Gillette loses money on the grips. Obviously, cause they're giving them away! But goddamn it surely must be worth it. All the real money is in the refills. This should be apparent by the high cost of the little bastards at the store.

And not only do I get a free razor, but it also comes with coupons. Coupons! A loving gift and reduced prices on other stuff. It's like they want me to be happy. Oh, I will be, Gillette, now that I have been looked upon so sweetly with your tender gaze.

It is as though the Lord has come down from on High and madeth me one of His disciples. This proves that there is no God but Allah and Gillette is His Prophet.