Friday, December 01, 2006

Stupid kid shit that you forget to toss

Man, my truck is a rolling shrine to youthful dumbshitness. I don't know if dumbshitness is a word but it works well for me.

Anyway, I have shit in and on my truck that has been stagnating in there for years. Years! I should have cleaned it all out and gotten rid of it along time ago. Comics, posters, a college textbook, stickers, a fucking graduation tassle...honestly, I don't even notice this shit anymore. The fucking tassle is hanging from my rearview mirror and I don't even fucking see it. My brain stopped registering it years ago and I just seem look beyond it. Well I guess it doesn't help most of my waking hours are spent at night. Or I just walk around in a mindless haze. Whatever.

Anyway, I've made it a point to clean this shit out. I'm 26, I should look a little more respectable. I've been meaning to get rid of the stickers for months now but, ya know, laziness sets in. Plus I liked my stickers! Fucking Metallica, Texas A&M, shit like that. My brother in law got me one from a bar called Moby Dick's that read, "Eat at the dick." Man, that's funny!

But it all must go. I'm 26, dammit! Time to be a bit more respectable I think.

And it seems I've decided this at a good time cause SOME CUNT COMPLAINED AGAINST ME! Can you fucking believe this? Some asshole "took offense" at the Moby Dick's sticker. And he complained to my boss! What the shit! What kinda fucking pussy do you have to be to offended by that? Well I can tell you what kind, illiterate immigration workers! No shit, I was (kinda) told who complained. Fucking immigration! And why do I say these people are illiterate? Cause not a fucking one of them, save for the National Guardsmen, speak English as a first language. Seriously. My boss, who for reasons I shall never understand, never told these people to go blow it out their ass. I imagine this idiot reads the sticker, written in plain and simple English (IN BIG LETTERS) and somehow just sees "eat dick." If that's what it read, I'd understand the nature of the complaint. But it says, "Eat at the dick." A double entendre and a rather bad one at that. It's a glorified advertisement! "At the" really ought to clue someone in that the message refers to a place. What kinda person will not realize this? Fucktards! Fucktards who can't speak English! Fucktards who can't speak English and who really have no business working in immigration!

Christ, government workers piss me off most of the time anyway with their holier than thou attitudes and bullshit demands, but these immigration people take it all to a whole new level. Fuck you if that shit offends you! The fact that you can't do our fucking jobs offends me, but you don't see me complaining to your fat ass boss. Hey look, a family of Arab terrorists is smuggling a bomb in, but no, you can't deal with it right now cause the forms to form a subcommittee on forming a committee to handle the situation on bomb smuggling Arabs are all written in blue ink and that means you can't send them over to the cubicle next to you cause blue ink isn't fucking regulation office ink mandated by your fucking public services union. Oh fuck, who am I kidding, these idiots probably work in Catch & Release. But seriously, who're these people to fucking complain to my boss about shit that doesn't concern the hotel in the slightest? Oh, a sticker, WAAAHHH!!!!! What's next, they're gonna come goosestepping into my fucking house and complain about the stack of Playboy mags in the corner? Fuck you! Three years working in this place and my truck hasn't changed in the slightest. Fucking Ms. Sensitivity with the government comes down and hell if her delicate senses are gonna be offended.

Fuck, I was gonna take all that shit down anyway. Now I wanna rub 'em in that bitch's face and strike a blow for civil liberties. Or put up something far more likely to rattle the bitch. Advocate abolishing immigration altogether so people like her'll be forced to suck dick for cash or something. Hell yeah! Or just build the wall and throw these idiots over the other side. Shit, if they wanna leach off the government doing "work" they have a whole damn system in Mex for people who wanna do just that. Felipe Calderon is getting inaugarated today, show him a great time and he'll set you up with something cushy. Man, I hate government employees. If they were a race I'd be advocating worldwide genocide. Hell, I think I will anyway.


Blogger Juan said...

Geez, Robert, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack! Chill. I thought the intro was really kewl and witty, but then the rant. Shit, remind me never to piss you off. You confused me with the gender change mid rant. It starts off with he and ends with she. Maybe I need to read it, again. Dood, did Everett know about the Moby sticker? I've a feeling he'd be one of the complainers (especially if the sticker had some rainbow reference). Who ever complained musta been PMS-ing.

5:06 AM  
Blogger Robert Muñoz said...

Hehehe, yeah I likes to rant. :D

Hey, you got your blog up and running! Sweet.

1:10 AM  

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