Wednesday, January 30, 2008


See it, it's pretty good.

Giant monster blows shit up.  Massive destruction.  Me likey.

However, if you had problems with Blair Witch cause of the handheld shots, you're probably gonna hate this movie.  I mean REALLY hate this movie.  I mean FUCKING hate this movie.  So often you want to see more monster tearing shit up and killing people but the guy with the handheld is on his ass hiding behind a car.  Really, that's the one downside.

But the movie, in fact, isn't as genre redefining as Harry Knowles would lead you to believe.  In reality, it can be summed up like so...Blair Witch meets American Godzilla.  That's it.  It's handheld, which is Blair Witchy.  There's even a bit at the very end where the last two characters are looking at the camera giving their final testimonials.  It's just missing the right up the nose post nasal drip thing.  As for the American Godzilla influence...look, Godzilla came out in '98.  It's ten years later.  I saw that movie a couple of times.  Hell, I own the damn thing.  Remember the little Godzookies?  When it suddenly becomes Jurassic Park?  Well, there's a bit of that action going on.  Little baby monsters born live that immediately start killing everything in sight.  It was done pretty well, but I saw the influence.

The character's story is...well, who cares.  They have one.  You don't care.  You want massive monster action and destruction.  You won't to see people exploding after being bitten by baby monsters.  You want to see tanks rolling down Manhattan firing like crazy.  Building falling, carpet bombing...Goddamn, it's all good.  This movie NEEDS a sequel.  However, the sequel needs a different approach.  It needs to be told from the regular movie monster perspective.  This one is told from the ground level.  Like Knowles says, the guy's screaming "GODZEELA!!!!!!"  The next one needs to be told from the usual perspective.  You have teased us, Abrams, now give us what we really want!

I should note, that if you do see it, there is one tiny little thing to watch out for.  You see, part of the premise of the film is that it's all being shot over other footage of this guy and his kinda girlfriend.  On occassion this footage cuts into the main story.  Right, so the very very final shot is the happy couple on, what is it called, Coney Island or something on a ferris wheel.  There's a lingering shot on the ocean (the character's don't pay attention so there's no cues or anything).  Just make sure to pay attention to, I think It towards was the right hand side of the screen.  You'll see a little something that serves as the origin of the monster.  It's a real blink and you'll miss it thing.  Just to let you know.

I revealed the Red debt bomb set to explode in your bank account.


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