Friday, April 25, 2008

Them reviews

Batman #675 - Bruce Wayne is Batman!  So discovers Bruce's little chickadee (I forget her name).  So she and Bruce are talking over dinner and she's on his ass about how he cancels dates and disappears all the time for no reason.  Cue some random villain breaking into the restaurant and taking everyone hostage.  It starts off a bit slow, the girl's speech to Bruce seems standard fair ("I'm not some vapid slut, you prick!") and the hostage taking so Batman can't do his thing.  But random villain guy takes them in back, the lights go out and then Bruce starts whaling on the guy.  Chickadee sees this and puts two and two together.  It was an okay issue with a good ending leading into the next story, Batman RIP.  There was some other shit involving Talia and Damien and another subplot involving Robin and Nightwing chasing after some douchebag Rocketeer wannabe.  It's all basically lead in.  Now it's a good issue, but it's ultimately forgettable save for the ending.  A very quick read.

Countdown to Final Crisis #1 - Garbage.  What an utter fucking disappointment this series has been.  And I don't think DC Universe #0 is actually gonna do anything worthwhile besides catch people up on major events of the DCU.  Ugh.  So here's what happens.  Jimmy Olsen and Forager are basically on the outs as a couple.  Those two, plus Donna Troy, Ray Palmer and Kyle Rayner decide to form a group to keep a watch on the Monitors.  Black Mary Marvel is still a pain in the ass.  Harley and Holly Robinson do...squat.  Jason Todd is as much of an asshole now as at the beginning of the series.  Really, this entire thing was a fucking waste of money.  The plots coul have been handled in a couple of four issue miniseries.  Countdown: Arena was cool, but that was about it.  And speaking of which, just where the fuck has Monarch been?  I don't think that story was wrapped up at all.  I don't think they're saving it for Final Crisis cause I'm not convinced this series was going to have anything at all to do with Final Crisis.  How this was counting down to Final Crisis is beyond me.  This was a blatant case of false advertising.  Hell, reading between the lines at the DC Nation page at the very end, they practically admit that the entire series was an abject failure in its goals.  Thanks for nothing, DC.

Death of the New Gods #8 - Wrapping up the best miniseries of the past year, I can't help but feel it was pretty anti-climactic.  It seems the real climax was last issue with the deaths of Mr. Miracle and Metron.  The rest is just clean up.  Darkseid and the Source fight for a while.  Darkseid has the Source bound up fairly well.  Throw in some lengthy exposition and cue the spirit of Orion come back to kick Darkseid's ass.  The problem is this takes place just before Countdown #2 so the ending is a foregone conclusion.  Not one fucking hint in the previous issue of Countdown to warn readers that they should put that issue aside until this one came out.  So yeah, this makes Countdown #2 make a bit more sense, but at the same time it's still contradictory.  Orion in Countdown #2 is very much alive but in this issue he's only a ghost.  Whatever.  There'll probably be an explanation who does anyone care at this point?  Death of teh New Gods was, overall, a really good series.  The ending was a bit dodgy, only cause the final fight between Darkseid and the Source never properly materializes.  However, we do see the collision of Apokolips and New Genesis forming a new hybrid world with one half New Genesis-y and the other Apokolip-y (and looking like a giant Yin & Yang symbol).  So really, this should be treated as an epilogue wrapping up the tensions between the Source and the New Gods.  With Darkseid's apparent death in Countdown #2 and Orion being the last New God (I guess) it should be interesting to see how the creation of the Fifth World plays out (presumably in Final Crisis).  Actually, I might have to re-read the last couple of issues cause I could have sworn Infinity Man was still on the loose and the Source Wall was destroyed (which was still in once piece in COuntdown #1...GAH!  Fuck you, DC!)

Justice League of America #20 - This was a one off issue featuring the Flash and Wonder Woman.  Yeah, this is the Flash's first appearance since he came back last year in The Lightning Saga.  Diana gets on Wally's ass because he's been ditching his JLA duties.  Apparently raising a family isn't a good enough excuse.  Honestly, DC has really dropped the ball in how they've handled the Flash since his return.  Here you had one of the better characters of the DCU, if not the best character, and they've pretty much treated him like a rookie asshole.  Wally West is a silver age mainstay of the DCU and suddenly he doesn't know how to use his super speed to his advantage?  Fuck this shit.  So after being lectured a bit, they go off and fight the Queen Bee at STAR Labs.  *Yawn*  Boring fight.  Actually, the issue starts with Wally putting out a forest fire and that was pretty cool shit.  Too bad Dwayne McDuffy (taking over the reigns again for the first time in a while) couldn't put as much thought into the fight with Queen Bee as he did with the firefighting action at the beginning.  After the fight with Queen Bee, more lecturing.  Yeah, this title is getting dropped in July.  There's really no reason to follow it.  I had been considering getting the first collection of the first six issues, but honestly I see no point.  The series is nicely drawn, but not so well written.

Thor #8 - Yeah!  This was a good issue.  I've liked the last two issues of Thor.  Thor entered the Odinsleep in the last issue due to the fact that he used up so much power to revive all teh Asgardians who died in Ragnarok.  So he finds Odin in...I don't know where, but Odin basically says it's practically Asgardian heaven...fighting Surtur.  Odin explains to Thor how he similarly betrayed his own father and was cursed to have a son who would do the same.  In this issue he continues to tell the story of him and his dad and how he was haunted continuely by his father until the point he was told to adopt Loki as his own after he kills Loki's frost giant father.  He did and his father stopped haunting him but Odin says that since Loki was such a piece of shit it was basically his father's revenge.  It's a cool story cause it goes into a bit of Marvel mythology, part of what's making The Incredible Hercules such a great read.  Thor and Odin make up when Odin explains that he's pleased that Thor has not forgotten about him and though he'd like to come back, to do so would allow Surtur to also come back and fuck shit up.  And, as he explains, he's basically in Asgardian heaven.  Fighting for glory for all eternity even though he dies every day.  Cool shit.  Then they both beat the shit out of Surtur and Thor revives from his Odinsleep.  There was a sidestory involving Don Blake and his ex which...sucked.  The dialogue was stiff and I really couldn't give a shit.  If Straczynski couldn't do more then write in vague generalities he shouldn't have bothered.  We do discover that Loki, now a woman, is keeping Lady Sif locked away in the body of a dying old woman.  Okay, that's interesting, but it wasn't worth the strained character work.  Regardless, this was mostly about Thor and it was enough for me to feel compelled to throw on some Amon Amarth at the end.  Viking metal, fuck yeah!

Uncanny X-Men #497 - Okay, so San Francisco is having a collective flashback to the 60s thanks to some weird telepath chick and Scott and Emma are running around wondering what the hell is going on.  The story involving Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Colossus is much more interesting.  They're in Russia, on a train and find themselves attacked by giant Russian robots.  The fight was okay, but Mike Choi doesn't like to spend too much time on details as everything is shown from a distance.  It looks alright, but it does nothing in regards to immersion.  But it's still by far the most interesting story of the issue.  The Russians want answers for why their mutant population is suddenly gone.  So, after they get their asses handed to them in the fight, they find themselves in captivity by this Russian dude.  Why this isn't the main story I have no idea, cause the hippie dippy shit is going nowhere.  We see this Goddess woman for the first time and strangely at one point it looks like she has four boobs.  And I can only take so much of Scott and Emma running around going, "What the fuck?  What the fuck?!?" for so long before it gets tiresome.  This looks like Brubaker's last story before #500 when it looks like Matt Fraction is taking over.  I don't see how he'll help this series either.  Fact is the X books are pretty overdone and bloated beyond recognition.  Warren Ellis is taking over Astonishing X-Men in July, so maybe that will help.  Or maybe not.  I do like the interplay between Scott and Emma, but it feels too generic. 

Scott: You need to be more naked! 

Emma: Oh stop!

Come on, character work is more then this.  And come to think of it, wasn't Angel involved in all this somehow?  He was nowhere to be seen this month.  If you ask me, the action story should be strictly about Wolverine and Nightcrawler and Colossus, three character you can't fuck up, and the Scott and Emma story should have been relegated to them doing nothing but fucking around in the Savage Land.  This story arc is supposed to be about the X-Men post Messiah Complex and disbanded.  They don't feel particularly disbanded when Scott and Emma are still running around in costume.  Hot monkey love in the Savage Land, that would have been a sure fire winner.  Fucking hippie shit in San Francisco, that's just lame.  The Russia story is enough to keep me reading through to #500 and then I'm done.

X-Force #3 - This is a strange series.  I don't know if the writers know where they're taking the team in this story, but they sure as hell got all their villains lined up like ducks in a row.  Bastion takes a piece of Magus, ho was found at the end of last issue, and uses it to infect a bunch of old villains, living and dead, with the techno-organic virus.  So now guys like Donald Pierce, William Stryker, Graydon Creed and some other old time X-Men villains are infected with this stuff and ready to kill some muties.  Alright, sounds cool.  In the mean while Wolverine and the rest find Wolfsbane, who's been given an overdose of heroin, and take her back to Angel's place.  What, so she can seize on the couch and stay for a couple of weeks gettin over the shakes?  This issue was about the villains.  The cover, featuring Wolfsbane ready to fuck some guy up, was pretty misleading.  She can't fuck anyone up if she's getting high!  Well, next issue maybe?  It's okay.  I'm willing to see where the story ends up and drop it with #6.  However, it seems to have a less then monthly schedule ass #5 is the July issue and the last issue came out around the beginning of March I believe.  So it's been almost two months.  I thought maybe Marvel wanted to push back the publishing schedule but maybe Clayton Crain is to blame instead.  It is some lavish art compared to most other books.  But I digress.  I'll follow it through #6 only cause I wanna see where this particular story goes.  It's not really that good, and it's another story being written for the TPB form, but I think I can hold out to the end.  I think.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fraction isn't taking over, he's joining Brubaker on Uncanny. They'll alternate issues, I think.

12:03 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

Oh, okay. Thank you for the heads up.

1:12 AM  

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