Monday, May 19, 2008

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

So I come in to work and the TV is on HBO which is playing Rise of the Silver Surfer.  I think it was the second half.

Man, what a stupid fucking movie.  What the fuck?  Wow, that was just awful.  From the look of the movie to the actors themselves, what the fuck were they thinking?

Ya know, I never saw either of the Fantastic Four movies.  This is the first time I've seen either and I'm glad I skipped out on 'em.  Man, this was horrible.  None of the actors fit the roles (with the possible exception of the guy who played Johnny Storm) and the effects and sets were all horrible.  The acting was lame, the story the way, since when could the Fantastic Four transfer their powers to each other?  What the fuck?  All of a sudden I'm watching the Human Torch fight Dr. Doom and he's gone all fucking Super Skrull.  What the shit?  The only Marvel Comics team that I know can transfer powers back and forth is the Power Pack, and that book was lame shit.  And somehow or another Dr. Doom steals the Silver Surfer's powers just by riding his board.  Since when was Norrin Radd's powers connected to his fucking board?  The board gets destroyed all the time.  Fuck the board!  Fucking lame shit, man.

One good thing about the movie was from certain angles, you could see Jessica Alba's thong under that skin tight suit she was wearing.  That's hot.

Watching this, it occurs to me that there are some comic books that simply cannot, under any circumstances, regardless of the creative staff, be adapted into a movie.  The whole concept of the Fantastic Four is simply way too out there to be properly adapted into a movie and it fell apart.  Looking at it and within a minute you could see it for the cliched mess it is.  Terrible.  Sad, but mostly terrible.


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