Friday, August 15, 2008

Batman #679 review

Miracle on Crime Alley

Batman of Zurr-En-Arrh goes rampaging looking for answers on who's hiring new henchmen and gets the name Le Bossu. Consulting with some gargoyles on a rooftop, he fnds a transmitter stuck in his teeth leading a bunch of goons towards him. After beating their shit, Batmite spells a few things out for him. Batman of Zurr-En-Arrh is a back-up identity crafted in case of a psychological attack. Bruce Wayne shuts down, Zurr-En-Arrh Batman pops up. Robin takes on Swagman after contacting Squire and Knight (from the Club of Heroes arc). Next we see Charlie Caligula and King Kraken trying to get some heavy artillery loaded to ship out, at least until Batman comes and whoops 'em both. After that, Jim Gordan makes his way into Wayne Manor to talk to Bruce Wayne. His escort is killed and he's trapped in a booby trapped manor. Doctor Hurt is ranting away and beating on Alfred. Seems he really believes himself to be Thomas Wayne. Alfred isn't convinced. But Doctor Hurt vows to break Batman. Batman beats on Caligula some while Doctor Dax at Arkham prepares Nightwing for a lobotomy and takes over Arkham Asylum. Jezebel Jet is dragged into Wayne Manor while The Joker is informed of Batman's impending arrival.

Still confusing as ever.

Okay, now that Batman has gone batshit crazy, this issue feels a lot more focused then the last few, it has more direction. Batmite explains what's up a little, so that was good. Batman pounding ass is always a welcome sight. Unfortunately, I still feel that the story is just hobbling drunkenly along in confused fashion. There's plenty of cool shit in this issue. The scene with Batman talking to a couple of Gargoyles, seeing the "grid" that surrounds the city, or as Batman says, "A checkerboard, a blueprint, a machine designed to make Batman." Hey, fucked in teh head Batman is a fun Batman, I'll give Morrison that much. But reading that, I can't shake the feeling that Morrison was on massive amounts of some serious narcotics when writing this series. It feels like that, a giant trip, and stoner stories don't do much for me. Sure, I could get fucked up on qualoods, too, but I think any sort of fictional story oughtta be appreciated without them.

At this point, I will give Morrison one more point in his favor, much as this story is just pissing me off, I am eager to follow it through just to see how it ends. No, Batman isn't really dying, I know that much by now, but supposedly the ending wil be the most shocking ending in 70 years of Batman stories. Buddy, that'll get you readers! That it's evidently not Thomas Wayne, however, seems clear to me that Morrison is backing down. That would have pissed off everyone. The biggest shock and the biggest slap to Batman and his fans. Still, it would have been ballsy. Though to be honest, at this point I really don't care who the real villain anymore. I just want to see the arc over with.


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