X-Factor #33 review

The Darwin Awards (Secret Invasion tie-in)

To be sure, this is my last issue of the series I'll be picking up, so this review will be relatively light.

So it starts off with Longshot and Darwin (who I lost track of after the Shiar storyline in Uncanny X-Men last year) checking out Detroit. Longshot is being a total dick, just ragging on everything and everyone he sees. Some thugs overhear them and, naturally, take umbrage with Longshot's shit talking and start a fight. But instead of laying into Longshot, they go after Darwin. Darwin, whose power is to adapt, grows gills when being drowned, becomes stretchy when stabbed...nothing they do works. While this is going on we cut to Madrox and X-Factor Investigations talking with an old man in search of his son, who is a mutant. And, hey, what do ya know, it's Darwin's dad. And while they're talking, Valerie Cooper ad the O*N*E are listening in and keeping an eye on them. Pulling up files on the client, Hector Muñoz (No shit! Hey, alright, I'm digging it), Val pulls up some of his criminal history which involves some DWI stuff, ditching his wife and kid, etc etc. Anyway, so daddy-o is trying to rebuild his life and wants to find his son to make amends. Cool, cool.But back to Longshot and Darwin, Darwin takes off running one way and Longshot the other. Meanwhile, a mysterious woman is watching the whole thing and follows Longshot into a backalley where she seems that he's...a Skrull! Okay, no real surprise. Longshot was saying earlier that his powers weren't working which is bullshit cause he's not a mutant. Anywho, so "Skrullshot" is revealed and mystery girl keeps a close watch. Back to X-Factor, Madrox sends out a bunch of dupes to start the search for Darwin. Valerie Cooper decides that she has an assignment for Madrox and gets pissedoff that he's wasting his time in some simple manhunt. She bitches him out and gives him 24 hours to complete his job. Back to Darwin, him and Longshot meet back up discussing their reason for working together. Apparently, Darwin is on a search for Professor Xavier and Skrullshot said he would help him. Darwin is pissed that they're getting nowhere and Skrullshot is telling him to calm down and trust him when Darwin notices the girl who's been spying on them. Longshot sees her, and freaks out. Apparently he recognizes her. He runs, and she chases after while communicating this information to an associate. Before too long the whoe thing becomes a firefight. Darwin tries coming to the defense of Skrullshot, but the woman puts a gun to his head. Monet then comes out of nowhere putting her to the ground. While she's trying to pin her down, who else but She-Hulk comes tearing through thus ending the issue, to be continued in She-Hulk #31.

It's a three part story crossing over with She-Hulk. Like I said, I'm dropping the title, and really I have no intentions of picking up She-Hulk or the final part of the story in the next issue of X-Factor.

But what did I think of it?

It was...so so.

The stuff with Darwin and Skrull Longshot was pretty funny. I figure Peter David wants to make Darwin a regular fixture in this series, which is cool. Honestly, the whole issue should have just been Darwin and Longshot. Screw the Secret Invasion angle, just Darwin and Longshot. The issue could have ended with Darwin running into X-Factor in...well, whatever way David could think up. It would have been a fantastic way of introducing the kind of environment X-Factor find themselves working in (hell, we haven't all been to Detroit now, have we?).

But that it's both a Secret Invasion tie-in and a She-Hulk crossover, well it kinda spoils the issue for me. Over in Captain Britain, we have massive fighting. Over in Incredible Hercules, we have a big mission. Over in Secret Invasion...well, you know. But here, in this corner of the Marvel Universe, we have...one lone Skrull fucking with the locals? Some invasion. I mean, if the Skrull invasion is all about them fucking with fat ghetto trash, why not just let them? But I digress. The She-Hulk cross-over stuff...okay, I figure this mystery woman is a character in that book. However, I wouldn't know since I don't read it. Some kind of background would have been nice, but David takes the approach that you already know her. When in one scene she changes into a rat, I though, hey look, a fucking Skrull! Nope, not at all.

As for the art...it's by Larry Stroman. It sucks. The faces on everyone sucks. It's pretty terrible overall. That's all that really should be said.

There is a lot of humor in this issue that was okay, but I can't help get the impression that Larry David was watching Keith Olbermann while writing this issue so for whatever reason it's all very left-wing. Guido voted for Nader in 2000, which I thought was great. I mean, of course he would! The tension between Madrox and Cooper is pretty thick. She has him by the balls, but at least it has given him some focus.

But overall, I thought there were just a few too many missteps in this issue. David tries, but for me this wasn't a strong issue. It could have been worse, I mean it has its saving graces, but it's a completely mixed bag. I would recommend just skipping out on this issue. It seems heavy with editorial mandate and try a Peter David might, it really couldn't be saved.

So much for the review, now if you don't mind me I'm gonna go off on a slight tangent...

Now, there were two things that greatly, greatly annoyed the fucking shit out of me while reading this issue. While looking at a photo of Darwin, someone (I think Rictor, but I can't tell cause the art sucks) is amazed that Darwin (who's hispanic) has such light skin. Cause every Mexican is automaticaly shit brown.

Say hi to the President of Mexico, Felipe Calderón.



Hi Mr. President!

zOGM!11!11!! His skin is so light! LLO!1!11!!!

Celebrate diversity, support racial and ethnic purity today. Stop miscegenation now!

Sorry, that shit just sticks in my craw.

The other thing is...well, Darwin's name, I am learning, is Muñoz, which is cool. And it's not spelled right once the entire issue (whcih they use, seemingly no less then, 50,000 times). Okay, quick Spanish lesson. N and Ñ are two seperate letters in the Spanish alphabet. N is said like "ene" and Ñ is said like "enye" (if that example sucks, think of the singer Enya but with a short e sound at the end instead of the a). Spelling is "Munoz" makes it sounds like "muh-noz." But no one ever says it right, which I'm used to (though, for the record, the way to say it, at least without trying to affect an accent, is...well, it's in the URL...moonyose). But they could makea freaking attempt at getting it right. Bastards.