Saturday, February 17, 2007

Ghost Rider

I saw Ghost Rider tonight.


My friends liked it a bit. Not me. It was made of WTF and fail. If
ever I see Mark Steven Johnson I will make myself known. I will tell
him, in no uncertain terms, "You fail it!" and then put my penance
stare onto him so that he may feel my pain.

Nick Cage was the only redeeming part of the movie. Pairing him with
Eva Mendez, however, was the dumbest idea in the world. She's like,
what, 20 years younger then him? And they were supposed to be high
school sweethearts? Stupid. And she can't act. Well, she has boobs
but that's it. Fake boobs, which honestly I didn't think were well
done. Did I mention she can't act? Bitch, tits can't save you.
FAIL! But I dunno, maybe if we had an opportuynity to see her tits
and watch Nick Cage slap them around for a while my feelings would be
different. But it didn't happen so my feelings are the harsh.

Ya know what sucked? Donal Logue. Well, not so much Logue but his
death scene. I farking hate Donal Logue. I have long wished genital
warts on Donal Logue. His death scene...well, it should have made me
joyous and light. It did not. How does one go about screwing up the
killing of Donal Logue? A pox on both their houses!

The whole movie was a cross between Daredevil and Spawn. Take the
stupider story elements and shitty pacing of Daredevil (which I liked
even if it was extremely flawed), and combine it with the shitty
editing of Spawn (which I liked, and by that I mean hated). Throw
some half-assed CGI and you're left with a giant ugly mess.

Strangely enough, when I got to the theater the showing I wanted to
see was sold out. I ended up buying a ticket for Norbit and just cut
into the line to be with my friends. Even more strange? Damn theater still had empty seats.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Time to laugh at the City of Boston