Art Tatum

I have no idea who this guy is but this sure sounds nice.

So it turns out...

...The boxers fit.

Yay!

I haven't gotten fresh underwear in five years. This is most excellent.

Merry Crimbleness

Ah, a pretty good couple of days.

We had the big dinner Christmas Eve. Or Festivus. Hell, I think I'm gonna start doing the Festivus thing. Most people do it the 23rd, but I think the 24th would be more appropriate. Now all I gotta do is get me an unadorned aluminum pole and I'm set. Don't wanna do the airing of grievances thing, cause that would go on too long.

So dinner was fantastic. Turkey, dressing...yummy. For me this was the most important thing. Thanksgiving turned into such a depressing affair that having everyone over was great. Yeah, even the jackass brother. It was great.

When I got to work though I was sleepy as all hell. Drank half of a huge pot of coffee in two hours. Man, I was wired all night long. Strangely enough, my mind was working faster then ever. I think I came up with a formula for world peace. Can't remember, everything's back in first gear again. On a side note I can officially say my attempts of mostly weaning myself off of caffeine seem to have been very successful! Normally drinking so much coffee wouldn't have bothered me.

So anywho, I got home, wrapped my gifts, threw them on the pile and...went to bed! Hell if I was gonna wait up until God knows when for the sister to wake up and the brother to get there. Took me a while to fall asleep though. Kinda hard actually sleepign when your eyes are closed but they're still darting back and forth from all that coffee. My mind wasn't racing so much by then but I still think I managed to come up with a new plan for a Republican victory in '08.

The family had all gone out to eat with dad on the Island so I got to sleep through the afternoon in peace and quiet. Loverly. I finally woke up about...six...ish. I think. I never actually get up when I wake up mind you so I'm not always sure. I finally had to get up when my sister started bouncing on my stomach so I could get up and open my gifts.


New sheets from mom, a $30 dollar gift card to the movies from the brother (I was surprised to find out he was actually getting me anything...must have a new girlfriend) and a copy of the complete first season of Lost from the sister and brother-in-law. Sweet! All good. Actually, mom also got me two packages of new boxer shorts. She's done this every year for the past few years. Only problem is she never gets the right size. She was kinda pissed when I told her to take them back. Even after I've told her for the past five years not to try to get me anything that would require her to guess my waist size she still does it. Go figure.

For them I got a vegetable steamer for the brother (he cooks a great deal apparently). For the sister I got some girly outfit. For the niece I got a Fraggle Rock doll and a little outfit. For the brother-in-law I...well I thought I was getting him a hunting jacket but it seems I just got him copies of Gettysburg and God & Generals. For mom, I went in on a new TV and watch.

It was all very nice. Strangely, the older I get the less I want to do with any of this. I do like the dinner, the lights, the social aspect, but it ends there really. Getting gifts for everyone is also nice, but I'd rather not have them get me anything. I guess it's cause I'd rather get myself stuff. I wonder how that came about? Benevolence mixed with extreme selfishness. *Ponders*

Well, once again I am tired as all hell. I'm gonna go have a smoke and start cleaning up. Merry Christmas!

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Sorta.



An oldie but a goodie.

Run-DMC - Christmas in Hollis

Best...carol...EV4R!

George Washington

It should be noted that this short rap is 100% historically accurate.

Been a pretty good week

Got some work done around the house. Mowed the front yard so now it's all nice and short. Even managed to get the back done Thursday morning. I haven't done the back in forever! Looks good. Had to do all that cause I didn't want the brother-in-law coming, seeing the lawn, and then being compelled to cut it. Not that I have a problem with him cutting it, I just don't want him to see what bad shape his lawnmower is in.

The sister is home with the brother-in-law and the niece. The niece is very talkative. I am once again amazed that a small child is nothing at all like having a pet. Though speaking of pets the german shephard is jealous of her cause she's getting all the attention. The cat is also in a funk cause she hates the niece. The schnauzer couldn't give a flying fuck one way or the other.

Came in Thursday night and got a much larger bonus then I expected. $200 bucks! Holy shit! That was a huge surprise. Guess I'll have to go buy gifts now. Oh shit, but it's all so last minute. Hope I can still get some nice shit for them.

Oh, and I finally balanced my freakin checkbook today for the first time in like a month. Stupid Century Media, if they could give me accurate shipping costs on my orders right off the bat I would have been balanced a long time ago. Instead I just grabbed a statement from the bank listing my previous charges for the past...month, month and a half. It all jives nicely, thankfully.

So I'm trying to convince Ma to cook something good Sunday night. The brother wants prime rib but they're all going out to eat with Dad Monday afternoon and hell if I'm having cold leftovers for Christmas dinner! They can do prime rib another time, Sunday we're having a big, fat ham. It's just as well, Monday I plan on going to the movies to see The Good Shephard.

I really want to stop by Gotham tomorrow. I've been meaning to do it forever. Since it's Saturday I figure Andy will actually be there. Need to pick up that last issue of Action Comics as well. I hope he still has a copy.

Alright, back to "work."

Crow adopts kitten

I'd hate to be working in mail order delivery right now

I ordered two CDs from Overstock. Specifically The Mars Volta and God Dethroned.

Anyway, when they sent me the shipping confirmation they sent me a bad tracking number. I thought it was anyway. They sent me what they said was a USPS tracking number. Turned out to be UPS. Poor bastards must be working at a breakneck speed trying to get so much information logged in that they're making easy mistakes left and right.

So it was cool that they got those CDs in so fast. I wasn't expecting them tonight at all. I was ironing my work shirts when the UPS guy rang the doorbell. At 9:00PM. No shit. Gotta hand it to those guys for working such bastard hours. Looking at my tracking history (now that I know which company delivered it) they got it down to the minute. Looks like they almost delivered Tuesday night but either missed me or got fed up and went home to bed. It's all good.

But really, ya gotta love UPS. Their tracking system is the shit. USPS doesn't do a friggin thing. They don't even have to scan packages. UPS details everything short of the driver having to stop to pinch one off. Really, check this out.

HARLINGEN,
TX, US 12/20/2006 8:59 P.M. DELIVERY

HARLINGEN,
TX, US 12/19/2006 10:38 P.M. THE PACKAGE WAS MISSED AT THE DESTINATION LOCATION AND IS DELAYED;PACKAGE WILL BE DELIVERED NEXT BUSINESS DAY-NO SATURDAY GUARANTEE
12/19/2006 2:21 A.M. OUT FOR DELIVERY
12/19/2006 2:00 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN

SAN ANTONIO,
TX, US 12/18/2006 5:24 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
12/18/2006 3:58 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN

MESQUITE,
TX, US 12/18/2006 11:17 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN

MESQUITE,
TX, US 12/16/2006 1:26 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN

SAN PABLO,
CA, US 12/14/2006 4:02 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
12/14/2006 2:49 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN

SPARKS,
NV, US 12/13/2006 10:31 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
12/13/2006 8:38 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN

US 12/13/2006 2:48 A.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

With USPS I'll see something that says "We have been notified by shipper blah blah blah" until it shows up at my door. At most I'll find out that a package will ship from, say, Des Moines in Iowa (where Rightstuf is located), reach Dallas and then, a day or two later, me. And that's it. That's all. Not much of a tracking system. Not to say USPS doesn't do a pretty good job overall, I generally know how fast they are, but they could stand to make some improvements. The first step to that being privatization but that's another discussion altogether.

Regardless, I gotta take off my proverbial hat for the guys in these jobs cause right now they're all busting ass just to get stuff to all of our ungrateful asses.

Ayman al-Zawahiri sends Christmas greetings

Too funny.

Dodge Charger police package

Doing donuts.

Piñata Hunter

I like the part where he slaps the woman. Cause, ya know, violence against women is funny.

It's hot

Or was, it's cooling down now.

Here I thought the reason was because I had two glasses of wine with the bottle I found in housekeeping. No, no, turns out it was just fucking hot.

Damn, alcohol makes me hungry.

Stuck Mojo - Open Season

Fullmetal Alchemist - Conqueror of Shambala

So I finally got around to watching the FMA movie.

It was okay. It was a pretty good wrap up to the series but I think it lacked direction. It did a good job of concentrating on Edward Elric but it did manage to get some time in for Al and the rest of the supporting cast.

However, it got wrapped up too much in its own gimmick. At the end of the series, Ed ends up in World War I Britain. Somehow or another he ends up in Germany and Ed's story is set during Hitler's failed attempt at overthrowing the Weimar government. As clever as this is thje story gets too caught up in this gimmick. The chief villain is part of a fictional society that is attempting to cross over into a parallel world, Ed's world, which they believe to be a mythical land called Shambala.

While this sounds great, it doesn't work as well as one might think. The villain was fairly stock and it felt like the creative team was just going through motions simply meant to bring their series to a close. Alas, it was rather unfortunate. The series was spectacular. Simply one of the best animated works to ever come out of Japan. I thought the wrap up could have been better. While it does do the job of tying loose threads together, it doesn't do the job in a meaningful and satisfying way. It's like a meal in a way. It's been planned, prepared, cooked, arranged and placed in front of you but after you've eaten you realize the chef lost his enthusiasm after the planning stages, was just going through motions and then forgot to add spice. That's too bad.

Well, it wasn't like horribly bad or anything. It was just...forgettable. The period drama was cool, watching Ed travel through Weimar Germany (which Funimation seems to think was actually called The Weimar Republic). He befriends a young gypsy girl and protects her from a bunch of thugs. People's reactions to her are interesting cause it is in the post War period when Hitler was a rising figure in Germany and people were blaming Germany's ills on Jews, gypsies and other minorities. It's all dropped a bit too soon, but we do get to see some historical figures make appearances. Fritz Lang! Who ever thought to use Fritz Lang in a fantasy anime? That was cool shit.

The movie was a mixed bag overall. It has it's good parts and bad. It does rather successfully tie all the loose ends together without much controversy but I would have like to see more drama coming from the regular cast. All in all, and considering I did get the special edition, it was worth the money spent. It does help much that I got a really good sale price on it too.

As an aside, one bitch. Oh man, I thought my copy was fucked! In chapter five, while Ed and the gypsy girl are talking, the damn thing pixelates and freezes cause of a scratch. I cleaned it a couple of times with no luck. Unfortunately, Rightstuf has a shitty return policy with only a two week window for returns. I was well past the two week window. Well, I evewntually just got pissed off, grabbed a damp towel, and then went apeshit on the thing. I stuck it back in and it played fine after that. I have no idea what happened, the scratch is still there. Maybe there was some else that I missed? I dunno, the scratch I saw was on the outer edge of the disc and they're read from the middle outwards. Maybe I was wiping in the wrong place? Who knows, it works now thankfully. I was gonna get so pissed. But that's one thing you gotta be careful about Funimation, their manufacturing process sucks. It's really not unusual for their discs to be flawed in various ways minor and major.

I think I might have overextended myself

Mars Daybreak Complete Collection

The Mars Volta - Amputechture
God Dethroned - The Toxic Touch

Amon Amarth - With Oden On Our Side
Amorphis - Eclipse
Strapping Young Lad - The New Black
Green Carnation - The Acoustic Verses

It should have ended there.

Well, a couple of things shipped sooner then I expected.

Kino's Journey Complete Collection
Read or Die

Oops.

Wow, I didn't really expect that

So I got home this morning from work and was pretty damn tired and the only thing I had in mind was to lay down and sleep for ten hours. So I lie down and then my dog scratches at my door. It's the schnauzer. Okay, well, I guess he had to take a shit. So I let him out and while he's out I make myself some toast. Mmmmm, yummy toast! And he comes back in and I think all is well. I lie back down. A minute later he's scratching at my door again! Shit, he's got an upset stomach and is gona have the runs all morning. I let him out but...well, he doesn't really do anything. Weird, maybe he wants attention? I dunno. He starts acting really weird. He actually comes over to me. He never does that. The damn dog barely acknowledges my existence. He totaly ignores me. So it's kinda weird for him to actually come over. But then he's also getting up, walking a ways and then laying down. Repeatedly.

Shit! He's backed up! He does this when he gets blocked up and can't shit.I know it, he got a hold of some fucking corn husks from those tamales we had on the weekend and now he can't shit! Fuck! FUCK! GODFUCKINGDAMMIT! I call mom and ask him if he had gotten a hold of anything recently, maybe picked somethign of the street. No, not that she was aware. I was pretty pissed cause she also said she didn't pay much attention. Greeaat! So I'm fucking fuming cause I gotta take the dog to the vet now. Fuck, last thing I wanted to do was take the dog to the vet and pay to have something pumped from his stomach.

Christ, okay, whatever, throw the little bastard in the truck and take him to Dr. Tewell's to drop him off. I get there and, oddly enough, the dog is running around sniffing everything in sight. Hhhmmm. Get inside and, whoops, now they require deposits for dropped off pets and I didn't bring my wallet. Christ...okay, well I wait a few minutes for Tewell to show but then I think, well, fuck, I don't wana wait forever and I'm gonna have to pay anyway. Plus the dog is whining his stupid head off cause he wants to wander around and I have him on a leash. Hhmmm. Okay, leave, come back, barely avoid rear ending a guy cause teh damn roads are wet (and causing the dog to fall off the seat). Get back, Tewell is there and he beckons me so he can look at the dog. Okay, well, sure. They stick a thermometer up his ass, pull it out and...well, whattya know, there's shti on it. Apparently there's no bowel problems. Mmmmmmmm.....so I explain to Tewell what the deal was. And suddenly he has an idea.

Tewell puts a stethoscope up to the dog and makes his diagnosis. He's getting congestive heart failure. Oh, okay...wait, WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Apparently the dog was getting close to having a fucking heart attack. Oh shit, this is much worse! Couple of shots later, a couple of prescriptions and $152 dollars later we're done.

So what's the deal? Well, the dog is old. He'll be 11 years old in around February. Bt that's nto the major issue. The dog is fat. When they weighed him my jaw hit the floor. It was embarassing. His problem is he's a big (or little) fat dog and needs exercise and to lose weight. Well, it shouldn't be too hard, I suppose. He is walked every night without fail. They vary in length but it is a regular habit. His problem is the same problem his owners have. He snacks. We give him shit far too often. Table scraps, a lot of table scraps. Basically this ends now. No more snacks, just regular, run of the mill dog food. Tewell said anything weight control will do. Cool, we've been giving both dogs Iams weight control for a while now. I guess I'll have to walk the dog more as well. At least once in the mornings as well as at night. That would help. He's not really that playful anymore and honestly never really did learn to fetch a ball. I'll figure out ways to keep him more active.

What a fucking morning.

STMP show Saturday was okay

Flyer said show started at 7:00PM but it started an hour later. Pretty much my only bitch. The three bands I saw sounded pretty good compared to the ones I saw at that last place. I could actually hear their instruments!

First band was pretty cool. Sounded a little Burnt Offerings era Iced Earth. They had two vocalists, one screamer and one "singer." Maybe it was the singers voice that gave them that Iced Earth quality. Not that he was good, mind you, but it was the toneof his voice. Pretty good overall.

George got there after that and we sat around waiting for the next band. Some gore-grind outfit who I thought called themselves Vasectomy. Maybe, maybe not. I dunno. I was impressed by the fact the vocalist kept his voice at a pretty constant low growl. Didn't sound like he was even verbalizing. Hell, he probably wasn't. Not like we would have been able to tell! Their songs were short and pretty unspectacular, going for a more constant sludginess.

Then we had some time to kill and George showed me how to play pool. Okay, I have to admit I've never seriously played pool before. Once before actually. In high school. One of my friends tried to teach me on a trip to A&M in College Station and he was a lousy teacher. So, I can officiallysay that, although I'm a lousy player, I kinda know what I'm doing. Sweet!

The third band, and last band I saw, was one called Hybrid. Okay, these guys brought some old school thrash with them. What was really amazing was watching this ten year old guitarist shred away. Now that was awesome! The band itself wasn't particularly original. They covered Seek & Destroy and followed it with a song that was basically riffing off of Seek & Destroy. It was plain as day who their influences were (that kid worships at the altar or Dave Mustaine). Still, I enjoyed them a great deal. That kid was amazing. Their playing was very tight, it was obvious they practiced a lot. I think if they keep it up they could very well go places.

I had to leave after that. George thought he saw his probation officer and he can't be caught at a bar. Also he had a blind date. I had to start getting ready for work.

All in all, not bad. Not a lot of people there, however. Mind you it was cld and rainy and when that happens here people tend to stay in. Can't blame 'em.

I'll have to catch another show sometime soon.

Those crazy Italians

Father's rights activist attempts to martyr himself on Italian State TV.

Kinnison and Dangerfield

Indians

Finally, a minority that you can laugh at as well as with.



The part about the 11 syllable names fucking killed me.

Just...fucked

Just...bizarre

Since when did the French get so fucking metal?

Seriously, it's like suddenly the French are the most awesome fucking people in the world.

Evidence...Gojira and Lyzanxia.

Seriously, these guys kick ass!

It's like there's some sort of new wave of French heavy metal or something. You would think taht the English, upon learning of something like this, would immediately dedicate more of their national resources to bringing back the rock. Alas, they haven't done anything significant since the NWOBHM.

So now the list of truly metal countries are...

The United States
Sweden
Norway
Finland
France

And on that thought, I have noted how much healthier the American metal scene is compared to the 90s. The 80s were the golden times, the 90s were the dark ages and now it seems the 2000s are like the...the...jeez, I don't know what you could call 'em. All I know is that metal has flourished this decade.

There are many potential reasons for this. Market cycles, for one. Everything is cyclical. One period of serious growth, one period of serious decline, and on and on. The rise of the internet is another reason. Used to it was very hard to discover good bands. Magazines could only dedicate so much space (and those were an investment in of themselves). The internet broke down barriers to metal the world over.

I have one more reason that I think is more likely.

George W. Bush.

Yes, I believe the President deserves full credit for the resurrection of the American metal scene. Why, you say? Cause everyone hates Republicans. When Republicans are in power people get pissed off. And when people get pissed off they rage and metal is the sonic embodiment of that rage. During the 80s it was Reagan in office and everyone hated Reagan. During the 90s Clinton was in office and everything was sunshine, rainbows and puppies. Who can rage at that? (Yeah, there was the '94 Republican Revolution but no one pays attention to Congress.) Now with a Republican in the Presidency driving people batshit crazy the metal is thriving and kicking ass!

For this reason alone is why the Democrats must be stopped in 2008!

Who needs fucking sunshine and rainbows and puppies? Fuck that, get Newt Gingrich up in their. People might hate Gee Dubya but they really hate Newt. Metal will enter a period of such awesomeness then that it will never be topped. Metallica will release their best album ever. Maiden will once again do a full American tour. Sepultura will reunite with Max. Ozzy will fucking go away! Queenryche will stop sucking! Truly the metal gods will smile down upon us and it will all be awesome.

Strike that, I said it would never be topped. It can be. Get the Conservatives elected in Great Britain and we'll see a wave of awesomeness that would only consume the entirety of the human race. No shit. When Thatcher got elected, what did we see? The NWOBHfuckingM. Imagine another NWOBHM. Truly it will lead to the salvation of all.

So remember, if you're tr00 and love metal, vote for your local right-winger.

Oh that had to hurt

The Dutch want New York back

No, really.

I didn't know this.

The Dutch settlers of New Amsterdam were called Yankees by the English, because the most common Dutch male names at the time were Jan & Kees.

This is gonna mean war.

Charles Bronson?

I didn't know he was gay.

Guns N' Roses - There Was a Time

I don't know if this is a real video or a fan compilation. The song is real though. More than a few tracks from Chinese Democracy have leaked. I'll say this, it's certainly better than IRS. That song just did nothing for me. Having listened to this one, however, I can say it's a grower. It would do well as the lead single, however, if it's overplayed you'll be bashing your head against a brick wall every time it comes on. Overall I like it.

So, I've heard two songs from the new album. My thoughts? This will hardly go down as the best GNR album ever made. It probably won't even be worth the wait. It's probably won't even be worth the $15,000,000 dollars it cost to produce. It'll be, at best, solid. I don't think you'll be able to say much more then that about it. Chinese Democracy will be a good rock album and probably rank somewhere between Use Your Illusion and Lies on the best of GNR scale. Nothign they do now will top Appetite. Ever. I'll buy it, certainly, but I have no major expectations for it. Hell, maybe that'll work in its favor. I doubt it though.

Though is there even a goddamn release date for Chinese Democracy? VH1 at one time reported it as October 2004. I saw an ad in Revolver (hocking other GNR merch) with a blurb saying this past November (or fall, I can't remember). Well, it's now December and I see no signs to indicate a release. Distributors and sellers need much time in advance. Word needs to spread, ad campaigns need to be put together. With a band like Guns N' Roses I would think they'd be beating people over the head with this shit. I assume that, at this point, March would be the absolute earliest release that they could successfully aim for.

Too bad. This album coulda been the biggest selling stocking stuffer for Christmas. I bet it woulda gone double platinum the first day of release. Oh well, Axl, it's your loss.

Couple of Pat Metheny songs

Change of Heart

Last Train Home

The second one is my favorite from Still Life (Talking).

I can't stop farting

Aaahhhh, this shit is killing me.

Each new fart brings blessed relief. Damned infernal paradox!

I can barely enjoy this crazy fucking Japanese ad.

Speaking of album of the year

Well the year is almost up and I've since purchased quite a few CDs, a few more then last year in fact. I've ordered three from Century Media so that brings me up to 40 albums purchased this year and maybe a few more yet.

I pick two albums of the year. One is any album bought in that year and the other is any album bought and released in that year. So for instance, last year my albums of the year were All That Remains' This Darkened Heart (released in 2003) and Opeth's Ghost Reveries (2006).

This year...well, this year I haven't bought so many albums released in this year. The new All That Remains, the new Iron Maiden, the new Slayer and I think one or two others. Not a whole lot really. Everything else has been older fair. The three new albums I purchased are indeed from this year. Gojira's From Mars to Sirius, Dragonforce's Inhuman Rampage and Mastodon's Blood Mountain. I have a few other new releases I wanna get when I get my next check.

As for new releases, I'm split between All That Remains and Slayer. These albums have gotten a lot of play in my stereo and sound great. As for older releases, I'm just not sure. There are the Metal Church CDs but they sound like shit and I've hardly listened to them because of that. Pat Metheny's albums, strangely enough, makes me want to put on metal. Good shit, but maybe a little too mellow. Dave Brubeck's Time Out? Okay, now this CD is nothing short of astounding. Gotta love that jazz! And there is Helloween's Better Than Raw to consider. Man, that album is tr00!

HHhhhhmmmm......Damn, gonna be some tough choices. It's all so very very close.

Slayer - Christ Illusion

Okay, I'm like this close to delcaring this one my album of the year. I have not heard Slayer sound this good in a long time and right now it's getting a lot of play in my stereo. This is definitaly Slayer's best since Seasons in the Abyss (one of my alltime favorite albums). It's not quite up there with Seasons but Illusion is absolutely gonna go down as a classic. Divine Intervention and Diabolus In Musica were okay but they don't warrant much attention. I pretty much passed over God Hates Us All. I'm very glad I picked up this one though. Bringing Dave Lombardo back into the fold has helped immensely. Tracks like Skeleton Christ thunder along beautifully with Lombardo's presence. The lyrics are hamfisted at times, particulary on Cult, but hey it's Slayer. They can sing about taking a shit and they would still be one of the craziest bands on the planet.

Now to be honest, you can't really say a whole helluva lot about Slayer. Once you've heard Reign in Blood, South of Heaven or Seasons in the Abyss you know exactly what to expect. Really, this one is all about that heavy metal thunder. The songs are exactly what you would want out of a metal album. You can bang your head to this one all day long really and the songs are quite memorable. This CD stands as a lesson in how to kick ass after 25 years in the game and it should be heeded well.

Stupid kid shit that you forget to toss

Man, my truck is a rolling shrine to youthful dumbshitness. I don't know if dumbshitness is a word but it works well for me.

Anyway, I have shit in and on my truck that has been stagnating in there for years. Years! I should have cleaned it all out and gotten rid of it along time ago. Comics, posters, a college textbook, stickers, a fucking graduation tassle...honestly, I don't even notice this shit anymore. The fucking tassle is hanging from my rearview mirror and I don't even fucking see it. My brain stopped registering it years ago and I just seem look beyond it. Well I guess it doesn't help most of my waking hours are spent at night. Or I just walk around in a mindless haze. Whatever.

Anyway, I've made it a point to clean this shit out. I'm 26, I should look a little more respectable. I've been meaning to get rid of the stickers for months now but, ya know, laziness sets in. Plus I liked my stickers! Fucking Metallica, Texas A&M, shit like that. My brother in law got me one from a bar called Moby Dick's that read, "Eat at the dick." Man, that's funny!

But it all must go. I'm 26, dammit! Time to be a bit more respectable I think.

And it seems I've decided this at a good time cause SOME CUNT COMPLAINED AGAINST ME! Can you fucking believe this? Some asshole "took offense" at the Moby Dick's sticker. And he complained to my boss! What the shit! What kinda fucking pussy do you have to be to offended by that? Well I can tell you what kind, illiterate immigration workers! No shit, I was (kinda) told who complained. Fucking immigration! And why do I say these people are illiterate? Cause not a fucking one of them, save for the National Guardsmen, speak English as a first language. Seriously. My boss, who for reasons I shall never understand, never told these people to go blow it out their ass. I imagine this idiot reads the sticker, written in plain and simple English (IN BIG LETTERS) and somehow just sees "eat dick." If that's what it read, I'd understand the nature of the complaint. But it says, "Eat at the dick." A double entendre and a rather bad one at that. It's a glorified advertisement! "At the" really ought to clue someone in that the message refers to a place. What kinda person will not realize this? Fucktards! Fucktards who can't speak English! Fucktards who can't speak English and who really have no business working in immigration!

Christ, government workers piss me off most of the time anyway with their holier than thou attitudes and bullshit demands, but these immigration people take it all to a whole new level. Fuck you if that shit offends you! The fact that you can't do our fucking jobs offends me, but you don't see me complaining to your fat ass boss. Hey look, a family of Arab terrorists is smuggling a bomb in, but no, you can't deal with it right now cause the forms to form a subcommittee on forming a committee to handle the situation on bomb smuggling Arabs are all written in blue ink and that means you can't send them over to the cubicle next to you cause blue ink isn't fucking regulation office ink mandated by your fucking public services union. Oh fuck, who am I kidding, these idiots probably work in Catch & Release. But seriously, who're these people to fucking complain to my boss about shit that doesn't concern the hotel in the slightest? Oh, a sticker, WAAAHHH!!!!! What's next, they're gonna come goosestepping into my fucking house and complain about the stack of Playboy mags in the corner? Fuck you! Three years working in this place and my truck hasn't changed in the slightest. Fucking Ms. Sensitivity with the government comes down and hell if her delicate senses are gonna be offended.

Fuck, I was gonna take all that shit down anyway. Now I wanna rub 'em in that bitch's face and strike a blow for civil liberties. Or put up something far more likely to rattle the bitch. Advocate abolishing immigration altogether so people like her'll be forced to suck dick for cash or something. Hell yeah! Or just build the wall and throw these idiots over the other side. Shit, if they wanna leach off the government doing "work" they have a whole damn system in Mex for people who wanna do just that. Felipe Calderon is getting inaugarated today, show him a great time and he'll set you up with something cushy. Man, I hate government employees. If they were a race I'd be advocating worldwide genocide. Hell, I think I will anyway.